Thursday, January 22, 2009

Saale of the century

Let me get straight to point or I'll be here all fucking day, this is "Saale Bhehnchod" the blog of a moaner. A 23 year old Indian law student whinging his arse off. How many of you are there?

I haven't got the slightest clue as to why he would sumbit himself for a review.

I didn't find just one, nor just two, but three, and fuck knows how many more posts moaning about people mentioning he had put on weight or his appearance. Give me strength. Men come 3 groups, skinny, fat, and everything else. The addition or subtraction of two pounds should go unnoticed, and more to the point unwhinged about.

You rattle on and on and on about being addicted and/or not addicted depending on the day of the week to booze. Here's a clue, alcoholics don't usually get around to googling for and posting images of their favourite drinks on their blog. They drink it. You are a fucking student, it's your job to get arseholed twice a week and wake up with traffic signs in your bed. The only thing you are addicted to is the sound of your own voice.

The first post at the time of writing is an 'oh so controversial yet not really of Obama' and the frenzy surrounding him. Kudos to you for calling it as you see it, but you fucked up royally saying he looked like a monkey. At best, a misguided thing to say.

If I were objective I would just say nice job, well written, and you've created an oversized bebo page for you and your pals to play around with. Unfortunately, I'm not objective. The blog annoyed the shit out of me. My blood pressure actually rose while clicking through your posts. You have no interest in writing, only talking.

I couldn't go back further than 2008 because as irritated as I was reading you at 23 years of age, I shudder to think what went before. I really should have just linked to this post at the start and left it at that. Dreadful, self indulgent, unfounded, faux angst.

I had to go back and remove the working 'fucking' 4 times from this post, that's how much you got under my skin.

Constructive advice? You can clearly write well, technically, but you don't write, you talk. If you have any interest to improve, re-read what you write and ask yourself do you like what you read. Other than that, stop fucking moaning. You are privileged, go live your life.

Now I think I hear chants of Obama coming over the hill, so jump in fast, I've left the engine running.

95 comments:

  1. This blog is all the evidence we need that society should never have abandoned corporal punishment.

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  2. What pray tell is with all the angsty Indian kids?

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  3. I love this blog. No, really. It's written by an alumni of ST STEPHENS! Do you know what that means? It means that this guy is a friggin' genius.

    And the blog is really good. I think you're all disappointed JUST because he doesnt use (english) profanity like you guys do. Too bad.

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  4. I think they all just figured out how fucked up the caste system is. Also, the 'monkey' comment was easily one of the bigger blunders I have seen on a blog. Ever.

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  5. Yeah, I think 'us guys' are offended by the lack creativity on this blog. Its not the lack of profanity, its more the way he uses the english language to bore the living fuck out of any and everyone that stumbles upon that shitheap of a blog.

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  6. Bunny, since when has "genius" become a synonym for "interesting"?

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  7. Bunny, if you look at the top rated blogs, you will find at least two writers to shun profanity completely.

    It's not because he doesn't swear. It's because this guy, regardless of whether or not he's a genius, is a shallow little boy.

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  8. St Stephen's? Never heard of it.

    Bunny, here's some words of wisdom from me to you: die in a fire.

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  9. Hey Bunny, St. Stephens is hosting its National Economics Festival.

    According to them "there will be a plethora of competitions ranging from debating, quiz, exciting games like Mock Stock, Macro Solutions, Wealth of Nations, Young Managers, etc."

    Maybe you and Saale should meet up and talk about math, it could be really hot.

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  10. I hope St Stephen has plenty of lube.
    Also, I doubt there is any equation known to man that will get this boring, dick-fed, little bitch of a male laid.

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  11. Wow. I can't think of a more boring blog I've read lately.

    I can't believe he wrote an entire post comparing his new underwear to his old ones.

    I've been reading you guys for a while (since before you reviewed me, actually) and I just can't believe you guys do this for free.

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  12. You know, I realize that there are quite a few people in India. I realize this. But of all the Indian kids I've met in real life, I've never been introduced to anyone that I wanted to jack straight in the face. I think these emo Indian kids are giving the good Indian kids a bad name.

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  13. Dear Indian Emo Kids:
    Cut it out. Seriously.

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  14. Narcissistic overweight self-proclaimed alcoholics make me hot <3

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  15. Woozie: hot like 'moistens your mangina'? Or hot like 'makes me look much more attractive to members of the opposite sex?

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  16. Is it de rigeur to agree with whatever the reviewer has to say? Because I didn't, and everybodys asking me to go die. What the hell? I like the blog and that's about it. The part about the profanity might have been exaggerrated, though.

    Also, St Stephens is one of the best colleges in India. You need ATLEAST 94% to get into the place. THAT is why I called the guy a genius.

    Oh, and I like his blog because I can identify with it.. I have friends who blog about stuff like that, and frankly, I enjoy reading it.

    Thats my take on the blog. And it's contents. It'd be nice if people showed some respect for other people's opinions. For a change.

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  17. Rabbit, know what else would be nice? If you took alie's advice.
    Seriously, 94 per cent what?

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  18. Hee hee hee...I love it when they get mad.

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  19. Also, in case you missed it, boring is boring. In any language.

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  20. "Thats my take on the blog. And it's contents. It'd be nice if people showed some respect for other people's opinions. For a change."

    Well, you can wish in one hand and shit in another and see which one gets filled first.

    As for getting into a top college, pfft, you should see all the morons that get into the Ivy League.

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  21. @Ghost: Thanks, but I think she should consider it for herself first before she goes around telling people to do the same.

    And, 94 percent what? Seriously.
    MARKS. Without which you can't do anything. Except act, maybe.

    @Rassles: You're right. It's just that I found some weird pattern in all the top-rated blogs here. They're all profane. =)

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  22. @Aliecat: You could poop on a cat first. And then get tranformed into a toeless rat.

    And, this is different from the Ivy League.

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  23. So you're an actor? Whatever. Clearly you are in your early twenties and still believe that good MARKS translate into true intelligence. The only thing profane here is your take on reality.

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  24. ??? Toeless rat??? Have I gone through the looking glass?

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  25. Yeah, I think we may be dealing with Saale's little sister.

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  26. Hey Bun Hon-

    You got told to burn in a fire because you equate education with intelligence, wit, verve, etc., not because you like his blog or we only like bloggers who swear.

    We like dissenters but it's helpful when their opinions are based in reality. Additionally, did you know that a study found that (at least in the states)the more education you have, the more likely and frequently you are to pepper your speech with the word fuck.

    Now who's smart?

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  27. Christ. NO!

    The point is, marks matter when it comes to joining colleges. Here. Umm, I'm surprised you didn't know that. If you know so much about 'Indian emo kids', you should know a bit about the country too.

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  28. Is that some Indian superstition by the way? If you poop on cat you turn into a toeless rat?

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  29. My dear Bunny:

    Your hair is not even close to frizzy in that picture. Trust.

    Technically, you started this whole thing with the backtalk and the unnecessary capitalization. No one likes to be yelled at by a newbie.

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  30. Silly Rabbit, everyone understands the process of getting into an institute of higher learning. You are completely failing to get the point. Tell me something, do they ever let you drive the short bus? Or do they just keep you on window duty? For the sake of improving the human race, do us all a favor and don't reproduce.

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  31. Jesus Chirst. On a cartwheel, really. =/

    Okay, hello Miss Missives. Firstly, I like his blog for the content. I said that earlier. That's because I can relate to it. Not EVERYTHING, like his underwear and stuff. But, you know, other stuff.

    AND. Well, honestly! The fact that its been written by an alumni of st. stephens was just to say that the guy wasnt an angsty Indian emo kid, whoever.

    And the study. Well, that was in the States, right. The point here is, it wasn't India. Over here, an educated person is more likely to not say fuck. Believe you me, that's true. Except people who try to ape you guys, sigh.

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  32. Here's a little story about grades:

    I went to high school with a kid who got straight A's in all the advanced, college level classes. He graduated a year early and started college the next year at the sophomore level at MIT. He flunked out the next year (and ended up working at a gas station in my hometown) because some top schools actually ask you to do shit besides memorization and spitting out facts (which is what a lot of secondary schooling is). Brains don't mean shit if you don't have the sense to use them properly.

    The end.

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  33. @Ghost: I don't ride the bus at all. People are dying because of it. The drivers are drunk, like, all the time.
    ON a serious note, rider of the short bus? My vocabulary is limited, and I have no idea as to what it means.

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  34. This is getting funnier by the minute.

    Bunny, I actually like you now.

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  35. @Steve: Umm, umm, okay.

    @Darwin: That isn't english. He's translated it just for.. yer sake. :\.. And unless you've lived in North India, you won't know what it means.

    @The cat: That story would have had a happy ending here.

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  36. Smart people can be just as emo and angsty.

    "Oh my god, everyone thinks I'm sooooo fat. I'll take mirror-reflection pictures of myself and look for justification on the internets. I'm not really fat, am I?"

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  37. So he's not emo so much as, like, an apparently-intelligent-but-still-annoying-and-shallow-Paris Hilton.

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  38. Sorry, Rabbit. Allow me to put it in terms you can understand: I was basically stating that you and the toeless rat read on the same level. Sadly, he may possess stronger survival skills. In plain english, I believe that you are mentally retarded. Over here, the mentally handicapped kids ride to school on a short bus. If you were to look inside one of these buses you would find at least one kid licking a window. Because retards like the taste of window.

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  39. @Rassles:
    Haha. Umm, I'll let you in on a secret, now. EVERY other Indian has a huge inferiority complex. Seriously. I can't really explain that, but even I do. I think it's because of our inability to lose those extra kilos. Or something of that sort.
    It doesn't automatically apply to all Indians, obviously. It's just a general thing.

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  40. @Ghost: Oh, RIGHT. Heh. Okay, whatever. By the way, how do YOU know that they like the taste of windows? You were retarded once upon a time, weren't you. No wonder.

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  41. I nominate any part of this for quote of the week.

    Allow me to put it in terms you can understand: I was basically stating that you and the toeless rat read on the same level. Sadly, he may possess stronger survival skills. In plain english, I believe that you are mentally retarded. Over here, the mentally handicapped kids ride to school on a short bus. If you were to look inside one of these buses you would find at least one kid licking a window. Because retards like the taste of window.

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  42. "It doesn't automatically apply to all Indians, obviously. It's just a general thing."

    I thought Indians had chiefs, not generals.

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  43. ANYHOW. This site is so full of hate.. it sickens me to think that I used to visit it once.

    A REALLY Happy Friday to y'all. Namaste.

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  44. Hate? I'm all love all the time. All I did was use your statement to make a comparison I thought you would be able to understand. Love is knowledge, I was simply sharing my conclusion with you. Why do you shun logic?

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  45. I'm gonna MISS her.

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  46. Hey, Anon? I didn't like that.

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  47. Also, no wonder no one (or everyone) wants to come play with us.

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  48. Sorry Rassles. Maybe I should have just called her a retard instead. That's seems to have gotten by your sifter of acceptible comments.

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  49. True, but if I know anything about GoK it's that fighting with him is pointless. He's better at it than I am.

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  50. Thanks, Rass. Here: I called her a retard because, well, I think it was rather clear that the only thing she, as a person, can be trusted to do on her own is breathe. She refused to use her noggin. Not because of her heritage or genetics. That 'dot/feather' thing is offensive because you were attacking an unchangeable component of her being. Not acceptable. She can stop being stupid at any point in time. She can't stop being Indian. If you want, I can go further in supporting why I am right and you are in the wrong, anon. Its thursday and I'm bored as fuck.

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  51. Right, because real retards refuse to use their noggins, too.

    Got it. Thanks.

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  52. Well it's about freaking time, saala! Cheers, Genie.

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  53. You aren't the only one who missed out, DPH. Though I don't think I could've added anything to Ghost's commentary anyway.
    I could only read one of this kid's posts before I wanted to slam myself into a wall. WTF?

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  54. You're right. It's just that I found some weird pattern in all the top-rated blogs here. They're all profane. =)


    God. This is such an astounding coincidence. I wonder if it has something to do with our web address being: "iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com"

    I must go away and ponder the wisdom that 16-year-old silly wabbit has spilled on us this day.

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  55. Hey, I'm not emo... am I? (Maybe I need to take more photos and put them on the interwebz.)

    Incidentally, there's more racism on this comments page than in that one word I used.

    And Bunny Rabbit, if you weren't taking my ass with the love, come to papa, hun.

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  56. Could someone please point out the racism in this comments page for me? I'm totally missing it, but I'm sure it's because I'm just a stupid white person.

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  57. Looking back, I think the word should have been 'hypocrisy' rather than 'racism'.

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    1. I think the word is “merciless and obnoxious cyber-bullying” I just came back here after a long while , and realised how much y’all ganged up on and bullied people. Do you feel bad about it these days , or don’t really care ? Just curious.

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  58. USE ME USE ME USE ME, PLEASE USE ME. I'M FREE FOR THE TAKING! USE ME.

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  59. Yeah, you could use my words out of context, assclown, except for the fact that your friend, Bunny Rabbit told us that 'every other Indian has an inferiority complex'. So, I'm really not sure how that can be looked at as 'racism'. All I did was take your friends words and put them in a simple word equation. You did actually read all of the comments before you laid that down, didn't you? No? Go check it out. At the very worst, I simply demonstrated why no one should make generalizations about their own race.

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  60. No. And African-Americans call themselves niggers, don't they? Does that make it alright for other races to do the same? Your "but they do it to themselves!" argument is childish.

    At the very worst, your observations taken out of context and imbibed with racist connotations you never intended are just as bad as mine about Obama.

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  61. Basically, my point is that although I wasn't in the least offended by your comments, they could be construed as being racist. Just like my 'racist' comment. So give me a break about the monkeyface thing. I've already apologised for it.

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  62. Oh, and I thought you were about to flex that wonderful education you received at St. Stephen's. You did the whole memorization thing, didn't you. You are probably a wonderful test taker as well. Sadly, your thought process is coupled up with a rather deceitful lexicon. Your vocabulary suggests that you are indeed a wonderful thought-thinker. Sadly, when you speak, it becomes very clear that you are rather dull, simplistic in thought, average. I applaud your spelling, I appreciate correct spelling. You have much to learn about many things, enjoy your journey. Oh, and it's never acceptable for anyone, of any race, to use terms like that when referring to themselves or anyone else for that matter. Slurs are for idiots. As for the Retard comparison, well, there wasn't anything underhanded going on there. Doesn't really matter though, you weren't offended. Right?

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  63. OK, dudes, I re-read the Monkey post and at the end he actually makes a vague comparison to Hitler. Really? Also, I hope he doesn't think he's being original by basically regurgitating every other Obama criticizer (he's not god, he's just a man, the Hollywood hype, blah blah blah). Shit, I can get better punditry on Fox News.

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  64. GoK, what's with the sudden privacy mode to your blog?

    And Gene, how is it that you get to do most of the "Emo" reviews? What we have here, is a pastor with a diabolical fondness for brown bums.

    Shame on you lot for encouraging Gene's racist sexual preferences.

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  65. Joe, send me an email at scot2475@hotmail.com and I'll send an invite.

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  66. Ghost, I was half-expecting you to respond with an ad hominem argument (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem), but I was also half-hoping you'd come up with something better. Still, I guess that's the closest you'll ever get to admitting you're wrong, so cheers. Thank you for telling me I can spell.

    Allie, I didn't compare him to Hitler. I compared the current adulation of Obama to the popularity Hitler enjoyed during his rise to power in pre-Nazi Germany, which is a documented fact. And no, I made no claim to originality of thinking.

    Just to clarify: I'm not upset about the review; I asked for it, it's probably correct, and it's refreshing to see so many people who don't like my writing. Father Gene was kind enough to include constructive criticism even. I just wanted to defend myself against the racism accusation.

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  67. Formerly Fun- You seriously had me hysterical unable to speak with that Liberace's ass remark. You are freaking hilarious.

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  68. Nope, you compared him to Hitler, sorry, no half-assed explanation will do it. Comparing someone's popularity to Hitler is the internet equivalent of a dunce cap. It's an overdone, offensive cliche. Hell, I could compare Bush's rise to popularity to Hitler, but I won't because it's. not. the. same. thing.

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  69. Um, I never said anything about being wrong. I'm not. My argument is damn near flawless. Oh, before I forget: your blog is horrible, racist.

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  70. And not to be a total bitch, but for someone who lives in a country that, for all intents and purposes, still operates on the caste system, maybe you should think before you label all Americans as sheep.

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  71. I will say I am very impressed with the number of letters this douchebag used to expose his stupidity. Again, Paraketh, you're wrong. I'm starting to think I may have started all of this with my evaluation of his sex life. Eh.

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  72. Also, you really are a racist. But my review was done in september, I thimk under the title 'This Place Always Smells Like Sex'.

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  73. Someone needs to take his Midol with a tall glass of humbleness today.

    Dude, pErakath, you got shit on... it happens. You asked for a personal opinion about your blog. Take it personally if you want. To the reviewer you're boring, to me you're a walking plague, with a personality full of American excrement.

    Happy writing sweetheart...

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  74. Since when did getting a place at St Stephen's become some kind of proof of hyper-intelligence? (and before Rabbits starts pulling the 'you're bitter/jealous' bullshit on me, I may as well declare that I went there).

    I don't want college to come in for flak here, because it can be an awesome place, but just for the record- not every course at St Stephen's requires a 94/100 score to get in, and you're an ass if you think that getting a score like that is proof that SB is some genius. And (for the record again) the blog is not to my taste at all - but having met the author, I can testify that it certainly is an accurate reflection of his personality (writing the way one talks isn't always a good thing). And I think the monkey comment was assholic, too.

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  75. We all have jobs. We are employed by Hitler's Monkeyfaced Great Grandson.

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  76. Well, I figure if India can play the generalization game, so can Americans. What's good for the goose, right?

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  77. My favorite part is that Parrakeet felt he needed to link to Wikipedia to explain argumentum ad hominem.

    Gosh, you're really smart man, what with all those big latin terms you know.

    *eye roll*

    I wish Mr. Crowley were here to kick this wanker's ass.

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  78. This doesn't change my affection for Bollywood.

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  79. Reading this blog made me glad I did NOT have a blog in lawschool.

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  80. Woo. Vapour trails in choking smoke.

    LB calls, and Crowley's here, bitches (though I don't know why you liked Slumdog. It sucks donkeyballs. The Oscar evaluation panel must have been on crack this year to give it 10 nominations.)

    Should I kick this wanker's ass? I wish I didn't already know him (in person), it would've been a lot more fun thataway. The thing is, he takes it up the ass most of the time, so I guess I won't really go postal on his ass over here.

    Bunny Wabbit, on the other hand, needs a spanking. With a sandpaper-covered-slat-smothered paddle. How old are you, beta ? No, seriously. Are you past the legal drinking age (the Delhi drinking age, i.e.)? Or are you hiding under that pink security blanket, rubbing Vaseline on your nappy rash?

    And Pater Gene? How come you land up with all the emo brats, eh? ;)

    On Perakath's blog. However, in Per's defence (since I've been reading his blog for a year, and because he will, in the near future, join my scumbag lawyer community), there are several posts that I really liked. They were witty, profane, and totally appealed to my stinky lawyer side.

    But, I'll also agree with the good Father that recently, Per's blog has been more about 'talking' than 'writing'. Per, my mottai friend, other bloggers like to read about what's going down in your life. But dude, not EVERYTHING! [Father: If you thought the underwear post was below the belt, he has this post on sex toys which is the shiznitz].

    You wanna talk, my man, there's something called a moot court. And email groups. And, anyway, just you try to keep up with your daily blathering once you join the profession, my lad.

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  81. Nicely diplomatic there, Crow!

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  82. No, Crowley's not quite done yet.

    Bunny (that nickname is SO North Indian, it makes me PUKE): Being a Stephanian is a good thing to have on your resume, luv, but it doesn't mean you're a genius. If you still believe that marks=intelligence or marks=a good job or marks=success in life, then you need to wake up and smell the horseshit, Honey Bunny, because there seems to be a lot of it in your brains, and not enough in front of your eyes.

    I got into Stephen's myself, years ago. I got a place on the 3rd merit list, which meant that I didn't have 94% marks, and hence wasn't a genius, and YET I was lucky enough to be given a chance to be in St. fucking Stephens. I refused to join. Wanna know why? Because I was having too much fun at this fresh-as-dew, tiny law school in Hyderabad. I spent the next 5 years with 40 other lads and lasses, most of whom were there because they didn't have the marks to make it into Stephen's or LSR or IIT or whatever. We had below-average profs; bugs in the mess food; a crap library (for a long, long time); no fancy 'Informal Discussion Groups' where industrialists, political leaders, literary 'geniuses' would lecture us schmoes on how to be inspirational leaders.

    But I'll say this about that dinky-ass little lawschool. Kids will kill to get into it today. I and my fellow inmates are heading towards partnerships in large law firms; are Rhodes scholars; are pulling in massive research grants from Ivy League colleges; are looked upon by judges and other lawyers as young lawyers who should be heard, because we make a helluva lot of sense.

    But, more importantly, we never, ever claimed that we were superior because we were from that particular institution.

    We are who we are. We don't care whether the other guy's from a Harvard, or a Yale, or a St. Stephen's college. If the other guy's ass is there for the kicking, we WILL kick it. Because we know we have the legs to do it. Not because we have cool black sweatshirts which say 'Stephanian', or 'HLS'.

    On the other hand there are dozens of 'geniuses' from St. Stephen's who're floundering around aimlessly, because, at the end of the day, a 94% or an astronomical GPA isn't going to help you if you're actually a fucktard.

    And since you're so much in awe of St. Stephen's (which is an excellent institution- one of the best we have in this country), lemme tell you a little Steph. story. It goes something like this.

    2 of St. Stephen's most famous alumni returned to the alma mater to have an informal chat with the students. When they were leaving, they were requested to sign the college's guest book (or so the tale goes). The guy who got the first shot is a well-known politician and a brilliant orator. He pompously wrote, "I am what I am today because of St. Stephens"

    The guy who came next, a famous politician, orator and wit in his own right, tartly scribbled, "Don't blame the institution"

    Now, you tell me, which of the 2 was the genius?

    [And for those colonials who're still at sea about what St. Stephen's is....you could say that it's our version of Boston College.]
    Grow up, kiddo.

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  83. I have nothing profound to add as I, clearly, did not go to St. Stephens, but as someone on your "fucking love" list I would like to declare that I hardly ever use profanity on my blog. I mean, unless you count the word "douchebag" as profanity. I don't.

    The rest of all of this hurts my head a bit.

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  84. Thanks, crow. First of all, I'm a fuckin' south indian. Get the point? It means that I DONT live in north india, asshead.

    The name makes you puke? Fine then. Want a toffee?

    You probably didnt wanna go to stephens cos you didnt get the course of yer choice. :/

    AND, about the drinking part. Who in the world starts drinking at the right age, henji?

    I still haven't even applied for a college to know what it takes to get into a really great college, a shitty one, or whatever. Yer obviously more learned and stuff when it comes to that, but hey. I'm talking about what I read in newspapers, hear from others and stuff. Abhi ke liye that's my point of view. If somebody says that this other person is stupid and dumb, you aren't immediately going to believe that person, are you? You'll probably try to know the person yerself before reacing any conclusion. OR go back to being indifferent.
    I know it's a lousy example, but I'm going to think that SRCC, LSR, Stephens, IIMs, ISB, etc are great until I get to know they're otherwise.
    I'm happy in this perfect little cucoon, uncle jee. Shukriya, but you didn't really have to type all that. :/

    And, yeah. Marks doesnt exactly euqal to everything great, but soemtimes, it just does. School level pe, atleast I'm going to think the same way till I feel otherwise. Til then, au revoir, monsieur.

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  85. Yaar kya hai yeh? Itni chhoti si baat ka patangad bana ke fir rahe hain hum sab. Isse to jyaada maze math class mei aate hain. Patthe. =/

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  86. Awww, bunny is a bit of a wanker. But, we knew that already.

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  87. How much 'billing' did you lose out on in writing those rather Epic comments, Crow?

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  88. Joe Boy: None whatsoever. Republic Day, remember? Public holiday, remember?

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Grow a pair.