Wednesday, July 19, 2006

All You Do To Me Is Talk Talk

Greetings. Atomic Fireballs here, and boy-howdy, do I get to have some fun with my debut review.

I Talk 2 Much is a blog review site, much like this one. It exists, apparently, as a tool to make bloggers who submit do one of two things. Those two things are as follows: Post about the review in their blogs, explaining that they wish they could make things better by following the suggestions of the reviewers, OR, start an incredible amount of blog-drama with posts and comments flying back and forth. Option 2 always seems to be their favorite, as then, the commenters and contributors to the site start with vicious diatribes with the blog owner and it goes on and on, ad infinitum. The reviewers are mostly female, save for two male reviewers, one of whom is an "Asian Blog Consultant" whatever that may be. I guess when blogs come in for review from Asian authors, only an Asian is fit to review them for fear of being labeled racist. Whatever, it's an odd mix.

The initial template that hits me in Internet Explorer is black sidebar, grey background, black outlined box with white interior, with black text. It's easy to read, and fits well. The image at the top suggests that Charlie's Angels was a big influence in someone's life, and the listing of the reviewers is labeled as "Bosley and the Bitches". Ah, I get it. A bad 70's television show, followed by equally craptacular movies, inspires a collection of angry friends to create a blog review site. Interesting choice. I'd have gone "Sanford and Son" just so someone could be Aunt Esther. They do offer a drop-down of templates that a visitor could choose from, although why this is valuable is beyond me. The "Ms. Chatty" one doesn't load properly in IE at 1152 x 864, but that's neither here nor there, really. I generally just want to see one template. They often complain of long sidebars, but theirs isn't exactly short, despite having things rolled up in a few spots. They do explain how they rate blogs quite effectively, but it seems they generally either award "smacks" or "the golden finger". I question the need for more than one negative reviewing device, but that's just me.

Some of the reviewers offer up constructive criticism, some offer only short comments about what they don't like about a particular blog. The group seems to hate the Black Template that Blogger offers up, calling it the Black Template of Doom (or BTOD, for short). They also seem to have a major problem with long front pages, yet the front page on IT2M is at least 10 days long. They are not fans of Google ads, which I can also say is a major pet peeve of mine. The writing varies in terms of the reviewer, with some neglecting punctuation and proper grammar, while others actually form full, coherent sentences and thoughts. It can be quite jarring in terms of the differences between reviewers. None of them care for such blogging standards as Half-Nekkid Thursday, Thirteen for Thursday, or meme's of any kind. Personally, I think a negative review that's influenced by someone choosing not to like a meme or a suggestive picture is shallow as hell, but again, they have their standards, we have ours.

You probably won't learn much from reading IT2M other than the bully mentality still exists in all it's glory on the internet. Certainly, much like our wonderful site here, you DO have to submit your blog for review, and I'm sure someone clever in their little gang thought it would be cute to see what we'd say about them, but much like they say, be careful what you wish for.

Recommendations?: They won't listen, but here's what I'd suggest. Firstly, get all reviewers on the same page, grammatically. Either write coherently, or just admit that there are some of you who cannot form proper syntax. Secondly, adopt a format for reviews (here's what I like, here's what I don't, fix template this way, etc.) that's a standard, so everyone knows what to expect when they submit. Thirdly, I get that you're all trying to be internet badasses. It's pretty apparent. However, constantly encouraging this blog-drama gets really lame after awhile. It makes you all look petty and child-like. Grow up a bit, act like adults, offer valid criticisms and constructive feedback, and get the fuck over yourselves.

Two fingers for submitting to us after trashing this blog one pussy anonymous comment at a time, and then bitching about not being reviewed in due course.

And one of these for semi-coherent reviews and respectful reviews, though they are infrequent. I'm in a giving mood.


  1. I beginning to wonder why it had taken so long for you to review this site, I guess I assumed you were waiting for them to say something nice about something but that must not be the case.... If so, this review would have taken even longer to be seen.

    I just think if they atleast liked ONE of the blogs they review somebody would have a shit fit heart attack and cry 5 hail mary's while going naked postal in the turnstyles of Grand Central Station.

    We have gotten to talking about it this way "If you want to know how much your blog can be DISliked, then you submit there... But don't expect anything golden or constructive godforbid one of them blasts into a ball of fire or hurts themselves trying to smile."

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  3. Ah yes, I remember the barrage of anonymous comments in which people had to refer to comments by minute number. That was a great display of lemmings on prade, wasn't it?

    I will say that sometimes they make good points, but overall it just seems like they're bitches for the sake of being negative.

    Sarcasm is fantastic, cynicism can be magical, but being a shithead just because you think you're entitled to it and it amuses you?


    Much like them.

  4. Thanks. Hope you had fun. :)

    I am the one who submitted and I don't make anonymous comments and neither do the other authors so if they were made they probably came from readers.. in other words? Not my problem..

    Thanks for wasting your time on a little old blog like mine.... ;)

  5. Roger: It's rare when they actually like something. You could almost make a game out of guessing when they'll constructively comment on something as opposed to the norm of "this sucks, move on".

    Kitty: They certainly encourage their band of followers to follow their doctrine. Destroy, tear down, move on. It's what they do. They're like fire ants, really.

    Ms. Chatty: I DID have fun, thanks. I certainly didn't feel like it was a waste of my time, though. A reviewer is required to look at the material in full, make a judgement based on said material, and comment on it. Somewhere along the lines, your "authors" seem to have forgotten that. Smooches.

  6. I like to think it's a game, like shooting craps.

    Will they or won't they boot it? The odds are never good. Although I did peep a titch of 'liking' at IT2M not long ago...

    I went outside and decided that just for that moment I would like the sun, marked the day on my calendar, and didn't shower just in case...

    Atomic you had a great response to Ms. Chatty. Kudos.

  7. Is it me? Or have they gotten a bit more forgiving with their reviews? I'm seeing a lot more slaps than I used to. Perhaps my little mind is playing tricks on me!

  8. You were too nice to them, but then hey, I'm just an overeducated postdoctorate liberal asshat, or something to that effect.

  9. AD: I refuse to bow down to them because they think they are the Masters of the Universe. She wants to be the queen of snark, so be it.

    KK: It depends on the reviewer, I think, but there's no rhyme or reason to how they review as a group. Some write paragraphs and seemingly do try to help, others are like "you suck, everything sucks, go fuck yourself" and that's it. So who knows really?

    Courtney: Objective is the word. I'm not nice. I attempted to do what they virtually refuse a site objectively.

  10. But even the bald headed asshole has started to hand out slaps.

    Dare I say it, have they figured out the kindergarten lesson of "play nice"?

    Damn the objectivity!

  11. I'm so glad you reviewed this site. When I got reviewed, they refused to comment on my writing and instead wrote a diatrible about how I need to be less depressed. Douchebags.

  12. Did you submit here Random Bird?

    I would call them Douchebags, but I think it would be more like a colonic bag.

  13. oh well fuk, you did.

    go me for taking vacation last week!

  14. heh. You were far too nice, but I'm glad someone said it.

  15. It amases me how one little comment from me about looking for "objective criticism" from the IT2M bitches about my blog sets off a firestorm of crapp.

    I find it strange how after your (forgiving and smartly done) review, the template magically changed and they "went on strike".

    For their sake I did my own review of my blog. I know it sucks "visually" but I am one who reads blogs because of the CONTENT.

  16. Thank you very much for the objective review. That is how a review SHOULD be done.

    I was one person they crucified on their site, and when I stood up to them they didn't really like it. They accused me of being an attention whore, but by the same token they seem to think it's OK to post the e-mails I sent and take them out of context.

    Oh well...I'm glad your site is here. I've enjoyed reading it!


Grow a pair.