Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I've never been so horny: Part 2

Oh so this is where they were hiding. And all this time I was thinking the japs took over blogland and were randomly hijacking other peoples’ blogs. I can now rest easier at night, but not too easy. Those japs are sneaky little fuckers. Okay, enough of my racism for now, let’s focus on what we’re here for.

Let’s see Bubblegummeltdown.com. Oh that’s clever they dropped the “blogspot” out of there. I guess they think they’re all high and mighty. “Oh look at us, we don’t need that faggot ass blogspot in our url”. Well fuck you!

Ooooh catchy! They nicknamed it “The Meltdown”. I’m gonna nickname myself “The Balls”. Okay let’s click here where it says Enter the Machine.

An “About Page”? What the hell is going on here? Wait a goddamn minute! This is actually a legitimate website! It’s not a blog! My curiosity is peeked, let see………….

She’s hot………is that a mummy?....................a shrink that hangs out in a bathroom stall? How the fuck is he gonna help anyone that’s crazy?...............oh neat a dominatrix. Interesting group. Hmmm……they sound like they know what they’re talking about. Let’s move on into this thing shall we?

There’s a section that features erotica, which quite frankly, made me hornier than a two peckered jack rabbit. This chick can fuckin’ write. However, I personally could use some more visual aids for your stories. I’ve always gotten a raging boner from this chicks writing mind you, but pictures make me happy.

The section called “the desk” seems to be just random crap, editorials, strange news, and stuff. All of it somehow pertaining to sexuality (as is the entire site). And the dominatrix broad sends out a “fuck you” to Scumbag from The Wedding Party. Does everybody hate that guy?

The basement quite frankly freaks me out a bit. It’s your information hub for everything BDSM. I still kinda cock my head to the side of that picture of that bitch with a serving tray clamped to her tits (just go look at it). It doesn’t disturb me, because trust me, I’ve seen some pretty sick shit on the internet, it just kinda……..weird.

Toychest is a section for sex toy reviews. How sweet would that be to get paid to play with yourself and try out different types of lotions and shit to use when you fuck?

And what the fuck is this!?! An actual REAL messageboard! Not the standard blogger comment sections that frequently serve this purpose, oh no. This is an actual messageboard complete avatars, private messaging options, the works!

Just add some streaming videos on this thing and I may never return to any other site ever again. Seriously, I really can’t find much of anything to bitch about for this site other than a few typo’s (isn’t one of your contributors a fucking editor?) and maybe some more pictures for those of us who need visual stimulation.

So of course you get this Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting. I think that much was obvious.

But also this Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting because your “editor” isn’t doing a very good job…….and he’s probably gay.

8 comments:

  1. Balls is all full-o-love huh? Even when it comes to kinky sex that leaves many many marks.

    As for the message boards, SHA-WING!!

    To sign up, or not to sign up. FUck, thati s the question.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perhaps I could learn how to capitalize while I debate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If it's fucking yahoo.com, we'll review it.

    Since when did we get standards?!

    I also commented below, regarding the writing element of our reviews. Input would be appreciated from y'all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hardcore Porn?

    YES! Masterbation material!

    No excuses Editor Person, you are a master of orthographical, there is no off time.

    Word.

    ReplyDelete
  6. i find the message board a bit difficult myself, but then i really liked her blog and the new site doesn't seem to actually have a blog in it. and i miss it.

    but see i'm a blogger, i don't surf the web really at all except google and wherever it takes me. the only websites i hang out at are gmail and blogger. so this is a really fucking cool website but i miss the blog.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah, fuck it, I'm off the high horse. This is a cool site, and I've recommended it to a few select folks whom I know would be interested.

    A billion stars for you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sex=Awesome. She gets all the icons!

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.