Monday, October 30, 2006

Dutch Ovens* Remind Me Of My Youth

Halle-fucking-lujah! Blogger is actually working, and not in a half ass "I'm going to let you think you can type up an entire post, and that at crucial moment I'm going to ban you from publishing it and then delete the entire thing when you push the back button" kind of way. Nope. It seems fully functional. Yee Haw!

So, before I totally jinx this mighty blog engine we lovingly call "asshole," I'm going to say three things: One--is it me? Or are aging parents the biggest hypochondriacs and the most stubborn about not going to the doctor? It's almost as if they enjoy having something to bitch about that is health related. I shouldn't complain, it takes the focus off the debacle known as my life. Two--how much does daylight savings rock? At least until the body gets used to it and 5am no longer feels like 6am, and it no longer feels like you got to sleep in.

And, three, The Dutch Files is a rocking blog.

The template is really simplistic. It's white, with black type. The header is a sexy pair of vinyl thigh high boots, coupled with a pair of clogs full of tulips. How very Dutch, no? Sex, wooden clogs, and least that's what I think when I think of Holland. Her about me picture is the embodiment of Holland as well: Clogs, tulips, bonnets, cigarettes, and Heineken. Who doesn't love Heineken? It's my beer of choice, at least, after Kronenbourg's 1664, of course.

The sidebar is collapsible, which is always good for space saving. The only complaint I have about collapsible sidebars, in general, is that you're kind of navigating blindly. Sometimes you get an individual who clearly labels things and you know what's what, but often times [like I would do], you get that person who has snippy titles for elements and the only way to find out what is there is to click it. I personally click everything, but I can see why some people wouldn't bother. Regardless, it's neat, it's organized, and aside from the very sterile white of it all, it's delish. I would suggest she tell a little bit more about herself in the actual profile container, but I presume she's trying to upkeep the aura of anonymity and I can dig it. I also would suggest not making the post titles a bright orange. It's not so much because it's an obnoxious color [which it is], but it's hard on the ol' occulars.

Content wise, she's also delish. Perhaps I'm partial because I, like she, is a single female living in a world where being a single female seems to be worse than any other fate that can be handed down to you. I'm not sure when being single and not making it your life goal to attach yourself to a male of the species became the equivalent of being a mentally deranged social pariah, but it's not fun for those of us who are independent, intelligent, and logical enough to know that being single is a far better fate than being with someone for the simple sake of just that-being with someone.

Outside of talking about singledom, she talks about random stuff like the Bermuda Sock Triangle, which I think we all can relate to. Where does that sock go between putting it in the washer and transferring things to the dryer? The world may never know.

I give it

If you like raw and lots of expletives then this is the blog for you. I adore it, for the fairly obvious reasons. I can't give it the "I fucking love you" icon, though. Why? Because I don't know what PFKAF means, and I find it rather disturbing that on the post pages the credits are smack dab right there on the right hand side hanging out in an area that's not even technically the sidebar.

Anyway Preach on my sister. Single is a choice, not a disease!

**If you don't know what the dutch oven is, feel free to inquire :)


  1. I think I have to love her because she's in Amsterdam. It's in the fine print in my American Hippie Handbook or something. Right next to the explanations about 4:20 and Bogart.

    I'm adding her to my Bloglines.

  2. Thanks for the review... Forgive me for being a tiny bit proud! PFKAF = People Formerly Known As Friends

    Review On!

  3. a very nice review! I love the DutchBitch anyway...

  4. Yeah, that's good stuff right there. A deserved four smiley stars.

  5. The only thing that bugs me about this blog is that the template is really wonky in IE. There is literally NO left margin, which makes it difficult to read and makes my brain hurt.


Grow a pair.