Thursday, November 30, 2006

Time to get pwned

Happy Holiday Season of Your Choice, y'all.

Before we start, a vocabulary lesson:

i‧ro‧ny  [ahy-ruh-nee]: Idiots who trash other people on the basis of their appearance on the fugliest damn *blog* I've ever seen.

You know, just when I think it can't get any worse, another blog comes my way that just stinks to high heaven. And then, I feel like I need to go back and apologize to everyone in the past whose ass I've spanked here, because their blogs were sooooo much better that the comparison makes me feel bad.

Enough guilt.

Today, I'm reviewing PYMMOTI.

First off, the template. In one simple word? fugly. The header graphic is pixelated and blurry and juvenile. The title is blurry and difficult to read. And you're using the term Noobs? Lord, do you have to talk like my 8-year-old son? You've just self-labeled as a pimply g33k with too little exposure to the sun, physical activity, normal teenage sexuality, and anything that isn't the flickering blue light of your computer screen.

Get off WOW, dude, put down the lotion/playboy, and spend some time in the real world.

About the content...This blog exists solely to make fun of people's online pictures. For a g33k, this guy could use a little time with photoshop so he could learn to post photos properly. Because of the way he's posted the photos on his site, even if these folks weren't funny-looking to begin with, they are now.

That's the only content on this *blog* aside from the invisible snarker's rude comments about these photos he's snatched from some unsuspecting teenager's (and/or white trash person of indeterminate gender) myspace or faceparty.

Meh. I just realized this guy isn't a high school kid sitting in his parents' basement bitterly wanking off alone because the cheerleaders at school snubbed him. He's a grown man (and I use the terms loosely) with a child.

Shit. The world really is going to hell in handbasket.

Dude, do you really think you're funny? Apparently, you decided, in high school, that being an asshole is cool, and you've yet to progress emotionally since that point.

I have a schadenfreude streak so wide you could drive a couple dozen hummers through it, and yet, more than anything, this site makes me sad. It's pointlessly mean and unfunny. Seriously, making fun people because of their weight? Didn't that go out of style in 4th grade? Even my 13-year-old daughter is too classy and mature to do that.

You probably go around kicking disabled people and 3-legged puppies, too. And worse, teaching your kid to do the same.

At least those folks had the balls to do something you apparently lack the testicular fortitude to equal: they put themselves out there, without shame, owning who and what they are, while you hide your trollish (undoubtedly pimply & hairy) ass in the shadows, throwing stones from cowardly obscurity. You don't even have the balls to let these people know that you're using their photos. Pathetic. Lame. Gutless. Classless. Unmanly. Let me know if you'd like to learn any new words since you seem to be at a disadvantage, vocabularly-wise.

Anyway, I'd rather look at ten million fugly people than spend another minute on your fugly-spirited blog. In fact, I seriously had to think about whether you deserved the traffic a link would give you.

I give your *blog* for being teh massive suck.

Further, a for failing to grasp the concept of irony, for having the arrogance to review other people's blogs when yours is this crappy, and for teaching your child to be a mean-spirited, superficial little mean girl wannabe beyotch.

And, a for failing to grow the fuck up.


  1. Oh snap! This is the best review EVER. I heart maturity.

  2. Apparently I'm immature as hell, because I kind of enjoyed his blog. Then again, I'm a fairly mean spirited little girl.

  3. kristi,

    when are you going to submit for review? I <3 your blog.

  4. Here in should be there. Unless I'm delusional and it's another 'Here in Idaho.' Which would be weird.

    I heart delusional.


Grow a pair.