Monday, May 21, 2007


It's a rare occasion when I tuck my tail between my legs, let my horns furrow like my brow, and admit I fucked up. Alas! Today is one of those rare occasions!

It turns out that I am completely unable to copy, paste, and look at a link address and see something disgustingly wrong with it. Whoops! That blog I said no longer existed last week does exist. Imagine that!

So, even though the bitch hasn't bothered to post since May 9 and it is now well into the cusp of June, I'm going to swallow my pride and actually review Heaven Nose because there's not much else I can do while I sit here waiting for a DVD to burn other than talk to some engineers, the epic blogga [it's a saga on a blog, get it?!] of a post modern superhero known affectionately as "The Shnoz," or something like that.

Lets start out at the beginning shall we? I'm Jewish, it's common knowledge, and GNVP is also a member of the tribe, and while neither of us look the prototypical stereotypical part nor have huge shnozes, the word shnoz strikes a chord with me. Not only does the word "shnoz" make me titter and banter like a tiny school child, but it hearkens back to my awesome ancestry and that's just bomb ass. Oh, and no, I have no idea what I'm talking about either. DAMN THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION/HANGOVER/NEW MEDICATION! Damn them straight to a 95% off sale at Gucci. Oh, 95% off Gucci *daydreams*

Sorry about that. The template pretty much sucks. The prospect of a superhero shnoz leaves an amass of doors open for template creativity, and yes! I know that most people are complete fucking dolts when it comes to html or css, but honestly people it's not that hard to figure out the basics as far as changing the header and implementing a color scheme go. Maybe I'm being too harsh, maybe the fact I thought I was in the middle of an earthquake at 4am this morning as a result of construction outside my apartment building has put me in a rather shitty mood, but this post modern superhero bit is too good to have such a shitty template.

As for the rest of the blog, well, it's more old, nasty, saggy balls than I've wanted to see in my lifetime, and trust me when I say I had the "old, nasty, saggy balls" quote of a lifetime more than met in a week at HedonismII. I'm not seeing superhero activities, either.

Honestly, I think I'm just too excited over the prospect of a giant shnoz with legs, arms, little tufts of hair sticking out from the nostrils, and a cape fighting the rampant dutch ovening epidemic sweeping the nation.

I will say that whoever said this: "...I felt like there was diarrhea dripping out of my dick..."-call me!

I give it a a few 's, and a

May Lord have mercy on your wretched soul, and may Lord have mercy on my eyes which are now seeing saggy balls everywhere instead of spots. Eep.


  1. I don't get it. I guess it's clever and funny in spots, but what exactly is the point? If it's just snark, well...keep working, fellas.

  2. Seriously bad...I don't know how you could read this's not even good in a trainwreck/mean blog way. I'm off to scrub my eyes with bleach...

  3. Gah, Trouble, you gotta put a disclaimer on that! LOL!

  4. I'm all for gratuitous cock shots, but much like I'm sure most guys don't want to see flap jack titties on their screen, I don't want to see a ballsack hanging low enough I could actually use it as a slingshot.

  5. My vagina is depressed too, but I think it's 'cause I'm riding on that sort bus.


Grow a pair.