Eleanor Rigby

We have this idea, in our society, that to be single is to be living a half-life. To sit, silently, observing the lives of others, never fully participating. That people who are alone are that way because hold themselves apart from the rest of us, either by choice or necessity.

Single for Reason makes the case that she is single because she's choosy. Having seen what's out there in singledom for the past few years, I can sympathize with her perspective. But, I am left wondering, after spending an hour on her blog, if some people choose to be alone because love is such a risky, dangerous territory. Pat has definitely staked her claim to some of the most boring (albeit safe) territory on teh interwebs in order to elebrate her choosy singleness.

I enjoyed this blog...to some degree. Clearly, Pat has put a lot of time and work into the design of her blog. However, I don't know that I would label it "the blog for choosy people." Frankly, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't choose it, and here are my reasons:

First, while she can write really good posts, and sometimes does, all too often, she falls back on twaddle. Let me give you a tip: Unless you are describing cum stains in your underwear, I don't care what's in your drawers. Seeing the messiness in your fridge just reminds me only that I need to clean my own. While some of your photography is compelling, and deserves to take up half of my screen, most (let's say 90% of your photography) doesn't.

Secondly, a lot of these gimmicks and gimcracks that you've fallen back on in lieu of substantive content, like the spuds, are just dumb. They add nothing of value.

But, thirdly, and most importantly, you need to revisit why you started blogging. I think you've lost your spark. Your blog is a study in missed opportunity as you rush straight past interesting outlets for creativity and self-examination, in lieu of the mundane. For instance, in your drawer post, you write:

In this drawer are little notes written to me over the years I’ve wanted to keep. Mementos of a life. My passports from an era when I had long auburn hair and was adventuresome. Something happened to that girl, I’m not sure what. I don’t really enjoy traveling anymore.

Honey, here is my gift to you: a kick in the ass. Maybe you should figure it out. And, your blog can be an outlet for that voyage of self-discovery. However, instead of going deeper, you stop. Instead of finding the courage to pursue where you lost that girl who went places and did things, you instead list out in mind-numbing detail the further contents of your drawers, like there is anyone on earth who gives a flying goddamn. Jesus, woman, you don't even have a VIBRATOR in that drawer to liven up the list.

Blogs like this frustrate the shit out of me. Here is an obviously talented and insightful writer, who just for one reason or another, just doesn't WRITE about anything real or true. I don't know why you are only willing to give us access only the most superficial level, but it's the main reason I won't be choosing you.

I give you a .

That's what your blog is, these days. It may not have started out that way, but that's where you've ended up. Your blog is a way of keeping people out, while superficially giving the impression of allowing them in. If that's how you live, I can tell you why you are single...because you keep people away from your essence.

And that's no way to blog...or live.