Thursday, November 27, 2008

and here's one of me on a bus

Esajudita is a very nice looking blog, clean and white and crisp.

A good start I suppose.

It's tidily laid out, pages hidden behind tabs for navigation by month. There is the ridiculous inclusion of a bad photograph of the author's back to contend with however.

It's written by Lena who is 'totally not an American anymore'. It is technically very well executed

The elephant in the room unfortunately, while I was reading this smartly articulated collection of entries, was that I was bored, very bored.

There was nothing of interest there, for an outsider to your life.

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

I can't think of a single entry that stood out, not one that interested me, or angered me, or made me laugh.

From the last 12 months, which was all I could face, there are four categories of post:

1: Wishy, washy yet very serious Middle Eastern/Israel/Jewish focussed posts.
2: Your dental history.
3: Class reports for whatever trip you've just taken - complete with obligatory picture of you in something neon standing in front of something 4000 years old.
4: Anything else you stumble across.

You drew the short straw with me on the 1st, it just doesn't tickle my uncircumcised fancy, and on another day you may have been reviewed by someone who had the energy to feign interest, but not today.

The rest just sucked the life from me, this blog is dead behind the eyes.

Lifeless, impersonal, cold.

We want to hear the dying man's last words, his fear, his last thought, what he wished he'd said and you hand us the coroner's report.

We learn nothing of your personality from your entries.

Your last entry at the time of writing, is about as animated as we get to see you, and even then you fall short of how you could have shaken that up.

If you are truly serious about writing you need to try and connect with the reader, entice them, catch them by the throat, make them wriggle to get away, or succumb to your embrace.

You are articulate and concise, so you have the tools to do so, but do you have the desire?

All head, but no heart.

Ironically, when you did go out on a limb and show us a little of your imagination (hopefully) and emotion, the quality of your writing suffered, picking up clich├ęd phrases, and poor pace.

A star for the obvious technical ability and dedication to the blog.




For everything else.

7 comments:

  1. That's a good review, Gene.

    That's right - I can actually give an 'attaboy' without sarcasm, a feat unto itself since my dial's been wholly set on "belittle" as of late.

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  2. Oh Father, absolutely love your title. Great review but you could have summed it up with that title and took the rest of the day off.

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  3. there's just no rest for the devil, it appears.

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  4. I'm wanting an About page. Need backstory. And not the kind where there's a picture of your back.

    I do like her politics, though.

    And in terms of design, her text is some of the most readable I've seen.

    But, yeah. Bit dry.

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Grow a pair.