Friday, January 23, 2009

Wendy I'm Home

So does all work and no play in fact make Professor Booty a dull boy? Well, while the rest of us have been busy handing out lashings left and right, our Professor has no doubt been handing out bright shiny A+'s to fair, daft co-eds for the promise of, well, I'll leave that to your imagination. Welcome back Professor Booty, ready for your pop quiz? -Miss Missives


Well, hello my little askers and receivers. It's been quite some time since last we met. But, Miss Missives requested my presence here today and when a specimen of womanhood such as herself commands, who am I to demur.

The Professor wasn't born in the phallic ivory tower in which he now resides, pondering deep thoughts in the field of bootology. No, I used to spend a fair bit of time on ground level among the unwashed masses. In fact, I ran around with a crowd that was more interested in the intricacies of Black Flag lyrics than pursuits of philosophy. These ruffians offered the sallow fledgling Professor a measure of protection, entertainment and intoxication. I've lost touch with most of my punk rock compatriots and I occasionally what happened to them. What happens to a punk rocker when the leather jacket no longer buttons over the beer gut, the peg leg pants get tight in the wrong places and there is no longer hair enough on the top for a Mohawk?

Well, Punk Rock Dad may be able to shed some light on that query.

OK, let's get the bad news out of the way first. The site is pretty unattractive. Maybe that's the point, maybe it's punk rock to have a pixelated header and a bland on white template. If so, well done. Is it also punk rock to have a site that's incredibly difficult to navigate? No way to get 'Home', no archives, no search box - makes it very difficult to move around the site. The Professor would also like to know a bit more about you, Punk Rock Dad. How about a bit more of a biography or a cast of characters. Without an archive, it's hard to tell how long you've been around but I get the feeling that it's long enough to put some of your favorite posts out there as a "Best of Punk Rock Dad" page. I'm going to make a suggestion that runs counter to the AAYSR party line - put a bit more on your sidebar, put a bit more onto the page in general. Most people that stumble on your blog are going to form an opinion based on the way the place looks before reading a single word. You do yourself a disservice by having a rather dull looking page.

Because the real story is that Punk Rock Dad, well, rocks. Ultimately, blogs should be more about the writing than template choices and when it comes down to the meat of the matter, PRD has got it right.

He's got lots of personal history posts, written with a detachment that demonstrates growth and acceptance with his current life but with an intimacy that is compelling as hell. There's scathing humor and touching tales of his Quasi-Yuppie Wife. There's the requisite posts on the intricacies of a genre of music that pretty much has been in creative decline since the early 1980's. He's even twisted up the meaningless and endless blog award - creating one that I'd be proud to receive rather than burdened by the necessary reciprocity.

As good as these posts are they feel like filler when compared to his best work. It's probably worth noting that the Professor has a night gig as a Daddy blogger, but Punk Rock Dad is at his best when writing about fatherhood. This is where we break through the bullshit facade - the leathers and the mohawks and the piercings - to get underneath the skin of Punk Rock Dad. This is where the stereotypes fall apart and this is where the aging punk earns the respect of this aging academic. Like any good dad, he's equal parts proud of and fascinated by his kids. He relays the feelings that all Dad's are stricken with from time to time - being out of place and ill qualified for the task at hand - and the immense joy brought on by the simplest success as a father. The post that hit the Professor hardest, the one that clinched Punk Rock Dad's grade for today, was a short and simple one. With a photo and a couple of lines he nailed the emotion that hits hardest every Dad who spends time away from home - longing. A fucking plus, my friend. My only criticism - I'd like to see more of it. This is your strength - focus on it.

There are fewer Daddy bloggers than Mommy bloggers on the internets, but the ratio of crap to gold is approximately the same. Per capita, there are as many dull, whining, loathsome Daddy bloggers as there are dull, whining, loathsome Mommy bloggers. Punk Rock Dad is one of the exceedingly uncommon class of Daddy blogger that can tear your heart out, make you laugh - cringing - with recognition and keep you coming back for more.

Our typical declaration of love doesn't seem quite right for Punk Rock Dad, so here's a new one that the Professor had one of his students whip up for you.

76 comments:

  1. I love this guy, he writes about a lot of things I can identify with. I think I've found a new favorite. I remember my mohican youth well, and this chap and I seem to share a common outlook on life in general. Odd.

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  2. And just the other day I was complaining about the super popular, talentless mommy/daddy blogger.

    Nice to see a change.

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  3. "Oh, and I like his blog because I can identify with it.. "

    -- Bunny Rabbit comment on the Saale Bhehncod review.

    I guess that's good enough for a blog to be deemed worthy.

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  4. See but this guy can actually write.

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  5. Oh, and the favorable commentator didn't say he liked the blog because the guy went to Harvard or listens to Sonic Youth or wears pants on Tuesdays.

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  6. True, I like this guy because he writes well. I actually want to read his posts. The pants on Tuesday thing would just be a bonus at this point.

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  7. My bad. I like this mothafucka.

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  8. I guess the "writing well" aspect was an afterthought. Mustn't be as important as identifying with what the author writes about when judging a blog's privilege to live.

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  9. Look, good writing is good writing. If you can't see the difference between todays blog and yesterday's, well, find a window.

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  10. Hey, all you other Anonymous people are giving all of us real Anonymous people a bad name. Stop. It.

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  11. Yesterday's blog has earned the privilege to go fuck itself. That thing was never 'alive' in the first place.

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  12. I guess punk rock is no good because it is not always played well.

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  13. In other news, a truck full of apples just collide with a truck full of oranges. Our new intern, 'anonymous' is live at the scene reporting.

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  14. I think he's interesting. However, for the love of all that is holy: please, I beg of you, use commas! They're our friends, I swear!

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  15. Anonymous, the people need comparisons, they need details! Are the two drivers ok? Are they similar in any way? Maybe they went to the same high school.

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  16. The revenge post was awesome, my husband and I do that all the time and sometimes that teasing keeps us from killing each other.

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  17. Thank you, Captain Steve. I think, you, are, interesting, too.

    Even if you did call me a he. Or were you referring to one of the other Anonymouses?

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  18. Oh Gok 2nd nomination:

    "In other news, a truck full of apples just collide with a truck full of oranges. Our new intern, 'anonymous' is live at the scene reporting."


    Fucking hysterical, maybe even better than licking windows.

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  19. She was talking about the blog, the blog is interesting.

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  20. Damnit, collided. My bad. Stupid Blackberry. Thank you, ff, I think I'm getting my mojo back.

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  21. Pearl necklace me with your mojo, I'm a needin a little inspiration.

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  22. Wait on second thought, you better not, I don't need DPH beating me up, she actually knows where I work.

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  23. You really can't draw a parallel between somebody enjoying the content of punk rock even though it is not played well and somebody enjoying the content of a blog even though it is not written well?

    Really? Is it that obscure for you to comprehend?

    If so, you may be as dim as you are full of shit, GoK.

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  24. Yeah, I was about to say: my fiance would kill us both.

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  25. Pomposity.

    Just throwing that out there.

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  26. anonymous commentor(well, one of them)Didactic. Pedantic.

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  27. Um, that wasn't me who said that, GoK.

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  28. Look: you can't polish a turd, so please take your skull out of the buffer. Thanks.

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  29. This just in: we have new details on the collision. Apparently, our intern has found a way to fuse the two fruits together. Unfortunately, our intern is unable to explain the process.

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  30. I have to agree with Anonymous on this one.

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  31. First of all, Anonymous (one of you, I don't even know) in terms of technical execution and grammar, yesterday's blog was better written than this blog. Kind of like how in terms of technical musicianship, one guitar player may be superior to another.

    What makes this blog superior is not the technicality, it's the feeling with which it was written. Punk Rock Dad is not a grammar whore, his sentence structure is off. But his sentiment is conveyed through his words, much like how sometimes, a sloppy ass band can sound better than a symphony.

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  32. That's fine, Rassles. I like the way you think. So we can consider the point of writing well a moot one. Which brings us back to the question of the ability for the reader to identify with the content of the blog being a factor in its worthiness. If we agree that GoK validates the Punk Rock Dad blog because he identifies with it, we can also agree that Bunny Rabbit validates the Saale Bhehncod blog because she can identify with it.

    Unless you believe that one human's social association needs are more important than another's. If that's the case, it seems our society has no hope.

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  33. Kind of like how Jimmy Page is a sloppy guitarist, at least in early albums. There's style inconsistencies within the same riff at different times of a song, but don't you fucking tell me that "Whole Lotta Love" isn't a kick ass, gritty, bullshit song, and way better than some of the technical riffs that Eric Johnson churns out.

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  34. Great, I knew someone was going to bite on that. Look, yesterday's blog was shit. Grammatically correct, immaculate spelling, ok structure. But the content was so goddamned BLAH, so generic, so lifeless that it would put a tweaker to sleep. In ten minutes. PRD's writing is technically almost as bad as mine. His style, the way he conveys ideas and thoughts, is gripping, demands reading. 'Punk Rock', in its modern, sleek form, is for the most part very much like yesterday's failed abortion of a blog. Today's blog reminds me more of old school punk, like the Dead Kennedys, the Clash, even a few parts Ramones. Something is being said in both todays blog and the lyrics put on paper by all three of those bands. This is why I didn't bite on your bullshit comparison, because quite frankly, I don't think you have any the required knowlege on either topic to debate the matter.

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  35. My preferences are just that. I'm not arguing over PRD, because, he is a good writer regardless of my opinion. Saale, is not only a boring fuck, but he is 'booksmart'. That's not a blog, its a fucking journal. There is a difference. The blogosphere has been corrupted with mediocre 'American Idol Rejects' who couldn't find a way to entertain Hellen Keller. This is, in fact, a site that reviews blogs. There is an FAQ. Entertainment. If it isn't entertaining, you are writing to for yourself. A journal.

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  36. That last line should read 'writing to yourself'
    I need a smoke.

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  37. Speaking of biting...So are you saying that content that appeals to you is more worthy than content that appeals to somebody like Bunny Rabbit?

    If so, that is hardly fair.

    And, you have contradicted yourself, first stating that "True, I like this guy because he writes well" and then stating that "PRD's writing is technically almost as bad as mine". This is where the full of shitness comes in.

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  38. Again, you make yourself out to be quite an idiot. Good writing draws the reader in, compels the reader to think. Technical writing shows the reader how to program a vcr. Like a manual. Bunny Rabbits opinion is null and void not because she thinks differently, but because as she displayed, doesn't think for herself.

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  39. Its never about how something is said, it is more about what is being said.

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  40. In the sum total of things, blogging is indeed very personal and subjective. Punk Rock dad's blog, though far from polished, is compelling.

    Sale Merchandise's blog, while somewhat polished, lacks the sort of depth and degree of human connection that would make it transcend mere words on a screen.

    Saale's blog is that of a technical writer who describes the use of colostomy bags. The information is there, all the commas are in the right place, but unless you want a place to store some shit outside of your intestines, you aren't going to be rushing to the store to read it.

    Maybe some of it is the difference between someone who is 22 and goes through the motions of writing because he/she thinks it's trendy or cool, and someone who is 40 and actually tells stories worth reading.

    It's the difference between someone who writes, and a writer.

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  41. Lb: I guess I need to start shopping for an industrial sized tub of chocolate pudding.

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  42. Yes. What is being said.

    I will now agree and elaborate.

    I place a higher value on blogs who let me understand their thought process and place feelings, who give me a reason to care about them as individuals.

    Because yes, I place a higher value on an association based on caring about someone because of their past, and their future, their dreams and nightmares, their knowledge and ignorance.

    I place a lower value on an association you have with someone because they write as openly as the guy on the elevator who says, "It's cold outside, isn't it?"

    "Yeah, it's cold outside."

    "Yeah. I had to wear boots. Well, have a good day."

    "See ya."

    That relationship I value less.

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  43. I absolutely HATE punk rock - but I LOVE Punk Rock Dad.

    His template doesn't bother me. At least it's readable, which isn't the case for a lot of blogs. When will people realize that a black background just doesn't work?

    But his writing caught my attention right away. I'll be back to read further when I'm not supposed to be working.

    Thanks for pointing out another great blog. I've now added four of your reviewees to my "favorites" list!

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  44. Also, more breaking news from our head reporter:

    Intern? Can you still hear me? Good. Life is not fair.

    Everyone is created equally. And everyone is equal. For about the first twenty four hours.

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  45. Hola AAYSR powers that be (does that mean Love Bites, or is it a committe kind of thing?):

    Any plans to update your top rated blogs list? Your more recent 'fucking loved' blogs aren't on the list (like back from last summer, even).

    Thanks!

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  46. Man, I found PRD's blog SO boring. Now I know how you guys felt when you read mine.

    GoK, I found you funny at first, even when you were raping me, but now I get the feeling you really are a bit full of shit. You simply can't accept it when you're wrong.

    Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a racist.

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  47. Could have been worse, parakeet, you could have found Jesus. Racist.

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  48. Also, I'm not wrong. No one has proven me wrong in any of this, have they?

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  49. You'd never know, anyway.

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  50. I'm pretty sure we would all know if you found Jesus, dude. He's got a really intense fan club.

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  51. Yeah-- some of them put pictures of him on their secondary blogs.

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  52. See what I mean? You found him! Now go tell the Christians where he is. Them guys have been looking for a while.

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  53. And I've found the Holy Ghost as well; they'll be so thrilled.

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  54. Don't tell the atheists, though, they'll never believe you.

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  55. Oh, Professor Booty. How I missed you.

    Yet again, I show up late to the party. And I swear George is in here somewhere.

    "Which brings us back to the question of the ability for the reader to identify with the content of the blog being a factor in its worthiness."

    Oh sure, it's a factor. It just happens that you, whoever you are, weren't selected to write the review and rate the blog. So feel free to have an opinion, but don't expect it to be reflected here. I mean, it might be: you never know. Stranger things have happened. GoK shat rainbows once. And Father Gene kept his hands to himself during choir practice once. Ok, that last part is a lie.

    Know what else is a factor in my reviews? Whether I had sex the night before, what some jerk off did in traffic on my way to work, the movie I watched last week, and whether an ass load of sensitive little trolls will crop up to be all affronted and disagreeable.

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  56. Also, Booty, re: "No way to get 'Home'..."

    Punks don't go home, do they?

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  57. Calamity, my issue with gok had nothing to do with your review. It was lovely.

    My intent was to call out the bullshit in which gok wallows. I think I did that, whether he, or anybody else, chooses to believe it.

    I'll leave you all to his odor.

    Take care.

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  58. Look, someone believes you! Oh, that someone is you. Wait, parakeet believes you too. That's a start.

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  59. Anon makes a point, if you want to cut it black and white. Is one person's way of connecting better than another? No, one is not better than the other. One is just better for some individuals, and another is better for a separate group.

    And Perakath, I read your response blog. You took it like a man. Character points.

    AND ANOTHER FUCKING THING, because I'm serious today after the shitty week I've had, and I'm in a bad fucking mood, just to make a point about this association thing: I do not really identify with Punk Rock Dad, but he's got a decent blog. Love it? No.

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  60. Not my review, just my experience of reviewing.

    I think what GoK wallows in is not shit. I think it rhymes with flirty dirate pooker's bagina.

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  61. True story, Cal. As often as possible.

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  62. I must agree with anonmyous again on this one.

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  63. Punk Rock Dad has been a "blog friend" for several months now. While I sometimes cringe at a misplaced apostrophe, I do like the stories, the thoughts, the observations, and the feelings expressed. It makes me want to hop on a plane sometime and take the guy out for beers (good ones, not the swill he criticized me for having in my basement 'frig).

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  64. Professor Booty1/23/2009 5:36 PM

    The thing about reviewing is that there is no science to it, it's all subjective. We don't have a check list with boxes to tick. This one was simple: I could relate to PRD, he's a better than average writer, so I loved it. Easy peasy.

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  65. Anon:

    You're a bit full of shit yourself.

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  66. Calamity, you dirty little bitch you! My 'I've dealt with child birth and can no longer use my muscles properly' bladder, literally expelled a little love...and urine when I read your comment.

    I'm always having to do "real work" when all the good shit happens over here!

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  67. Damnit, this is why I shouldn't work. I miss all the good ranting. I love you, gok, and you, perakath, and even you, various anonymouses! Thank God Jesus isn't here, it's a motherfucking veritable love-in, and you know the rabid Christians don't go for that shit.

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  68. Professor Booty, you are a softie, indeed. But I can really identify with PRD--in my fantasy life.

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  69. And, seems I'm a bit late to the debate here, but if a story or play is well-crafted but no one can identify with it, then it ends up being a piece of shit.

    Except shit can be useful in organic gardening.

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Grow a pair.