Evidence of what I always suspected

Stay-at-home mommybloggers are the bane of my reviewing existence.

I'm admittedly biased, but I envision the vast majority of these chicks sitting at home on their ever-expanding asses, watching way too much daytime television, ignoring their offspring, and amusing themselves online while their toddler attempts to french kiss the power outlet.

This blog bolsters all of my worst beliefs about full-time mommybloggerdom.

There are no adventures here. Instead, this blog catalogs how this mommy slacker lollygags about on the internet all day, working on blog designs and new photoshopped nonsense and giving away her hubby's hard-earned cash in the form of gift certificates in order to lure in other unsuspecting housewives into reading and sharing her drivel.

Here's the evidence right here:

Personally, I'm glad to have him out of here. Last week I overheard him tell the guy that works the evening shift what we do (blog, eat, t.v) and don't do(cook and clean) all day. Stool Pigeon!

As a working mom, if I found out that my spouse had been pulling this nonsense all day long while ostensibly caring for our children, I'd fire his/her ass pronto from the sweet SAHP gig, and tell him/her to get a job. And, with good cause.

This blog is crap. It's what happens when brainless morons collide with photoshop and too much free time.

Do you really think you'll look back on this time in your life and be glad that you sat on your ass in front of the computer/television, creating this mindless nonsense, instead of playing with your little ones?

There is nothing soulful, sweet, touching, interesting, or worthy of being put online on this blog. It's all cartoon colors and big fonts, and no substance. I tried to find one single stimulating, entertaining, and thoughtful post, and failed, utterly.

This blog is the Fruity Pebbles of the blogosphere, all Red No. 3, artificial flavorings, processed white flour, high sucrose corn syrup, and way too little fiber and protein. It will make your brain rot. As a mom, I advise you to stay clear of it. And, for that matter, actual Fruity Pebbles.

In all fairness, there are a few mommybloggers I don't hate. You mostly know who you are, but mad props to the drunken housewife. She remains my all-time favorite stay-at-home mommy, a woman who has refused to allow her brain to be gelatinized by the bloggy klatsche into tasteless pablum. Look to her as a role model, you silly bitches who keep submitting here in the misguided belief that we will fucking love you.

Now, .

Turn off the computer, go outside, play with your little boys, and do your fucking J-O-B. Read a book. Read one with no swooning virgins on the cover, even. Better yet, read some to your kids. Join a service club. Volunteer. There is more to being a parent than blogging about the fact that you are having a multi-year work vacation. Get a fucking grip, you twit.