FML. Sometimes, I draw my assigned blog from the queue, and on first glance, I think, "Jackpot." And I get excited about the opportunity to discover something new and wonderful.
This is a beautiful blog design. Really, a sweet fucking design. It's stylish and looks good, and the blogger has clearly put plenty of time into it. It looks like the blog of a writer, a serious writer.
But, what this design needs is a backstory, a way for new readers to quickly figure out what's going on here. It's all well and good for longtime readers (if you have them), but happening onto this blog for the first time, it's fucking baffling. I have no idea what this guy is doing, or why, and have to go clear back to 2007 to get some idea of his mission here.
The fashionable owner of this blog has also mucked up the design by making it too fucking busy, what with the twittering, and the calendar, and the archives (you don't need a calendar AND a list of archives, it's fucking duplicative), and the song, and the blogroll, and the not clearly defined photo link buttons in the right column that link to who knows where and who knows what. It's like he's taken a sleek and tailored suit and mucked it up with a paisley shirt and a striped tie and impossibly colorful socks, and totally inappropriate sneakers. The blog has style, on first glance, but it's impossibly complicated.
I tried to figure it all out, including the who and what, but it's Monday, and I can't possibly do anything so complex at 11 a.m. on a Monday morning.
Also, what the fuck is this blog about? I guess the original plan was to combine writing and fashion, but somehow, that plan got lost. This week, we have "posts" that consist of puppet basketball players (youtube repost), movie trailers with a paragraph about summer blockbusers, some stenciled clothing items (WTF?), and a Where the Wild Things Are youtube repost. And, the week before that, there was some dude's travel schedule to Europe and some dude proposing to some chick, and I have no idea who that dude is, or why I should fucking care.
So, like, what happened to WRITING? You know, that thing you do with WORDS AND ALL, that doesn't require linking to youtube videos and/or posting stencils of fashion?
On the best of days, Mr. Blog Author whose name is never really mentioned in this blog, I'm not into fashion. I'm currently wearing flannel pajamas with Winnie the Pooh on them. I wear Ann Taylor like it's fucking garanimals because I don't have to make any big statements and it all matches. Ann Taylor helps me avoid looking like a fucking idiot by taking a huge fashion risk and failing abysmally.
So, in the luck of the draw, you got the reviewer who is the least interested in fashion, and has no real sense of style.
But, even I could have rewarded him for some delightful writing.
Which, sadly, was non-existent.
My advice? Either do it, or don't. But stop dicking around. Either you're committed to this blog, or you aren't. If your level of commitment to this blog is youtube videos, hang it up.
You used to be a blogger. I don't know what turned you into this sheepish schmutzy poster of youtube videos, but it sucks.
For your content, I give you:
For making me come off as a bitch again when I wanted to fucking love you,