Stuck a feather in her cap and called it "maccaroni"?

People. When you misspell your blog's name in its bloggy address, and then I click into it and find that you're still, still using a blogger standard template that you haven't even bothered to modify, I fear for you.

I fear that I will be forced to rip you a new asshole, even when I'm feeling all happy and lovey-dovey. And then, your mini-cadre of readers will start going on and on about what big meanies we are here, and I'll have to rip new assholes in a whole new set of fannies. Some of which will be unaccustomed to such rough ass treatment, but probably need it.

And, after spending a nearly perfect weekend relaxing, I'm so not in the mood.

Seriously, why must you people suck? Why can't you be bothered to read our FAQ? Why do you bother submitting if you can't even follow simple directions to make your blog less sucky? Why do you keep making me write the same damn things, week after neverending week, whilst you don't listen? Don't you think I get enough of telling people to do stuff that they have no intention of doing with the teenagers who live in my very own house?

How long do you expect me to be patient and keep reading crap that people submit, when it is obvious that no effort, whatsoever, has been made to improve their blog and/or content?

Dammit. Now I'm all peevish and bitter.

So, without further ado:

Today's blog:

1) It's macaroni. NOT MACCARONI.
2) Create an "about me" and move that shit off your sidebar.
3) Find a cleaner blog design, preferably with tabs so you can clean up your sidebar.
4) Get rid of the gadgets and crap, they look messy and add nothing.
5) Stop posting youtube videos in lieu of content.
6) Learn to write dialogue without killing it. (See example).
7) Irony, thy name art maccaroni.
8) If you don't have something good in the first ten posts, no one in their right minds is going to go digging, including me.
9) Actually, if you don't have something good in your first 3 posts, most people are going to click on to the next possibility, and you'll have lost a reader.
10) If you're going to blog, make it a point to distinguish yourself, in some way, from the other 41,683,205 mommy bloggers online.

You get a meh, and should be thankful for that. It was a merciful meh.