Mother, May I Sleep With Assholes?

Today's blogger and I didn't exactly get off on the right foot. Well, at least her blog and I didn't. My first attempt to read her chronicles of midlife mommyhood resulted in my computer giving me an error message and shutting down. I wasn't easily deterred and 5 attempts and 5 computer shut downs and restarts later, I emailed Madame Bellicose for a new blog to review. I was disappointed since this was my first "mommy" blog so she suggested that I just add the temperamental, hard to get blog to my reader. I'm sure Madame Bellicose appreciates having to do my thinking for me. In any case, I won't be commenting on the layout or template of her blog since I'm leery of visiting it yet again to make those assessments.

What can I say about this blog? Women who refer to themselves as "mommy" in the public realm typically irritate the shit out of me. It just makes it seem like they're clinging to the life raft of motherhood because there is just nothing else left to define them. I decided to reserve judgment on Mid-life Mommy, aka Danielle, in this regard until I finished perusing her blog. Mid-life mommy's blog reads more like a teenager's diary, at least in terms of the writing quality. There are glaring spelling and grammatical errors:

" couldn't stand the site of one another"

"Very embarrassing, but priceless for story's"

"It is going to be a good one fer sher!" (This one might be intentional, but it still irks).

"...all my friends seem to want me to die their hair."

"She is so excepting of everything."

I hate when people are careless with language. I hate chronic, accidental misspellings. I despise inappropriate use of the possessive apostrophe. I abhor intentional misspellings, especially those that were originally championed by junior high school girls and now seem to have caught on in the general public. But oddly enough, I don't dislike this blog.

Danielle is not a great writer. She definitely uses the word "hodge podge" far too often for my liking. Her posts are often rambling and without a central point. But she is capable of focusing and of turning a clever phrase. She's a woman who's made mistakes, who loves to get drunk and hates "mouth noises". Me too, girl, me too. Her taste in men is so bad that it borders on pathological. Seriously, I don't know whether to hug her or slap some fucking sense into her. After reading a few tidbits about her father, I'm not really all that surprised that she finds herself drawn to self-centered assholes.

Danielle is very willing to tell her stories, and she has a lot to tell. I honestly can't believe that this happened to her. If I had to spread my ass cheeks for a perfect stranger because of a misunderstanding over a parking ticket, I'd be in need some major psychological intervention. It's hard for me to believe that anyone could be this naive, but the story about a couple's attempt to woo her into a threesome entertained me. She has a dark sense of humor and is very capable of laughing at herself and her own woes, which makes her complaining a lot easier to take.

Danielle and I have this in common: We both have a super cute daughter whose cuteness masks an exasperating personality. The stories she tells about her "Toots" are eerily familiar to me. I feel her pain in raising a difficult child. Despite the behavioral challenges, Danielle is a great mom who loves her daughter very deeply. But she has not allowed herself to be defined by motherhood. She has a full life that includes plenty of "girls' nights out", sports activity and travel. She is on a perpetual journey of self-discovery and is seeking to carve out a happy path for her and her child. Her blog is a chronicle of this journey. Mid-life mommy may not be a great writer, but her willingness to tell the truth and laugh at herself redeems her.

I know there will be plenty who disagree with me on this one, but I can't give Mid-life Mommy any less than: