Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Could you hold this for a sec? Yeah, it's just my emotional depth.


Hi, my name is Rohini. I am a vibrant nineteen years old, and I've got it all figured out.

I discover truths every day that you never contemplate, because I am different.

I am lost and wandering and idealistic and I write mediocre poetry to prove how whimsical and romantic I can be, and I totally understand the plight of the underprivileged because I took a course on it after prep school. Don't judge me because I'm from Suburban Jerkwater, India. I'm not like them. I am different. I get it. See? Here is one college essay that proves my profundity, which is a word I learned in my thesaurus.

You know what? I'm pretty sure I wrote college papers on a whole slew of topics that are a bigger deal than your slew of topics, so I will just go ahead and give you a couple of those.

As you can tell, I am very insightful. Here, catch. Another poem. It's about soldiers because I understand them in my soul. This is because I am sage.

But don't let the heft of my soul intimidate you! I am a regular teenager and I goof off with my friends! Yes, that is a very long one, but I was so excited about telling you I had fun that I couldn't bother with paragraphs and splitting up the entries by day, because we did so much! :)

Wait, what? Oh. Um, okay. You want to hear something...you want me to show you what it was like. I heard that once. Show don't tell. But I'm trying to show...I am trying too hard? How can you try too...oh, like I'm trying to be impressive instead of just being me.

Well, okay, I wrote this once, but I don't know, I mean, it's kind of ramblesome but it's how I really feel. I don't know. I just really miss them. Yeah. I mean, and I started this internship, and now I kind of...you know. Lately I've been thinking that there is so much I have to learn.


14 comments:

  1. Hilarious. The review, not the blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jesus.

    Better you than me, Shiny.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so glad that blogs hadn't been invented yet when I was 19. We're all so profound when we're 19. So misunderstood. So clear on why things are the way things are.

    I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, it's been so long since we reviewed an emo Indian kid that I almost missed them.




    Almost.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ps. Shiner, loved the format of the review.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So that first post--is she really pregnant by a soldier off fighting or did I miss something? Are the letters some sort of meme? Who's Eleanor?

    ReplyDelete
  7. If you build it Emo will come.

    Seems nothing Ever changes around here except my Ambien dosage.

    ACK - no need to read the blog

    ReplyDelete
  8. ACK. If you build it emo will come. Like a field of curry, it will come.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do the reviewers have links to their own blogs we can see? I bet they must be brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shame. I thought you might have a proper blog.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.