Thursday, July 29, 2010

Ball and Chain

I get a lot of questions about my profession. Well, I haven't published my email address, so I don't, but shut the hell up and pretend I do. If we had jobs, Raptors would probably be bankers - human suffering is goddamned funny. That, and draining tax payers' blood. But as it happens, we've eschewed commerce in favour of mental peace, and spend our time discussing the merits of chill-filtration (look it up). Somewhere in between honing predatory skills and evolving a brain larger than a peanut, my ancestors spent time locked up in small enclosures called "Cubicles" and wasted their time with inane rituals called "team meetings". Today's reviewee comes from that era in human devolution and writes at "Workforced."

When faced with a reviewing writing on a self proclaimed "Comedy" blog, one that claims to be wildly popular, we're essentially tasked with stroking someone's ego and are expected to hand out 5 stars and a handshake just for showing up. So "Don Joe" (sigh), if you were expecting giddy praise - "nice shoes old chap!" - close the tab now.

Office comedy is a tried and tested formula, to the extent that Scott Adams' silly blog doesn't even go there anymore. Gervais and Carell carried their shows, and are tolerable in bursts. So armed with all this cynicism I set off to explore the workplace.

It's bleedingly obvious the persona behind the blog is someone extremely pissed off with work. Some people change jobs, some others blog. The design is clean and minimal, I'm tired of harping about the side-bars, so whatever. Workforced (oh, you made a funny!) is wrapping up "The Jargon Dictionary". Some of it is funny, but most of the time, it's just forced. I kept waiting for the rimshot as a cue to laugh. Look big guy, lists are funny, but when in moderation. Sure this was "Jargon month", but that's like saying "I'll call this rape month and skull fuck my neighbors all August". If the lists are forced, your pictures are overkill. If I was cynical before, I'm angry now.

Can't say I haven't seen this stuff before, but I'm sure someone will chuckle. Ah never mind, you had to use a bleeding picture.

"I have no problem selling my soul, its just that I thought it would have fetched a higher price."

I liked that a little, and in the context it was in. But most of your posts look like a collection of punchlines. Stop cramming so many "jokes" into 1 post Don, whatever happened to setting up the funnies? Sometimes, I'm not even sure what you're going on about. Halfway through the review I had the feeling I was reading the ramblings of a twat on coke. Sure, you share my hatred for younglings and the attention they generate, but there you go again, squeezing a joke in every line. Hang on, what's this? Jargonization again? In fact language from this post forms the backbone for for other posts. You thought I wouldn't notice?

Look Don, you have some ideas, and plenty of scope to explore them. There's not a lot of "material" that hasn't been explored in your domain (ha! Jargon?), but it's how you present the jokes that count. Here at Ask, stories give us a chubbie (or a moistie), and this is the closest we get from you. I see you have a book on the way, good luck with that.

If you're still around Don, take it easy and mix it up. There's no need to be funny in every fuckin' line. Toy with your readers a bit, set up that damn joke, use deadpan humour more often. But for now, don't quit your day-job. A star for being somewhat funny.


  1. I always feel bad for comedy blogs. I don't dread them, but I just get so hopeful.

  2. So is Jargonization even a real word?

  3. Jargonization is uber meta, because it's jargon for Jargon.

  4. Like infinite mirrors, but way more obnoxious.

  5. Here's a real word: bullshit. There is nothing on this earth more mundane than a blog that uses 'humor' or 'comedy' as adjectives. This little batch of cubi-crap got off easy. I hate when soon to be published authors ask for blog help. Obviously, you don't need advice if you have a book on the HemingWay, Ernest.

  6. But, hey, did any of you notice this?:

    "Get Your Blog Mini-Reviewed on Workforced!"

    Wow. If we play our cards right, we could get "mini-reviewed" by this secretion. So, what the fuck is a mini-review?

  7. Mini-review of Workforced?

    Very little queefs of comedy.

  8. Moistie?!?! One of those words that makes me wanna shake myself like a wet dog. Along with tits. I used to hate snog too but now I am used to it.

    Maybe I just have to say it more? Moistie, moistie, moistie. Nope. Not working yet.

    At least you didn't use wide on.

  9. When Workforced just started he went around following everyone. I mean, everyone (he even followed me). I've rarely seen quite such a fanatical desire to amass readers. Nice review - I guess nobody should ever refer to themselves as funny unless they have the talent to back it up and the confidence to say it. One out of two just doesn't cut it.

  10. No less an authority than the Inky Fool has listed "snog" amongst the 3 words that start with "sn" and are cheery. With your change of heart, Grumpy, you're in good company.

  11. Parts of this review may not give you a moistie.

    Grumpy - that'll be my disclaimer next time.

  12. I'm in a foul mood and he didn't help. What a waste of virtual ink.

  13. I actually like moistie, and will be using it daily.

  14. Is it really a "got an agent, signed a deal with Hyperion, hitting shelves in October" book on the way, or is it a "one day I'll sit down and pile up enough crap to send through the self-publishing process at Lulu" book on the way?

    I didn't spend much time poking around over there, but based on that post it was something on his "to-do" list that is a long way from appearing in bookstores.


Grow a pair.