Spoonfed Music

What's good mamis and pappis? Holla at you boy, Good'n'Very Plenty up in this mother fucker IFE! Dats right, in full effect, bitches!

I figure I could help Ms. Pussy Pop out a bit. Nothing says fun on a Tuesday night like group review time while Ms. Kitty Kat is also cursing so much a sailor would blush at whatever she's uploading. Am I right? Or am I right? Vive la telephone!

Today I got what I thought was the pleasure of a music blog. What Greg Likes didn't really meet my ill-informed expectations.

The template is simple, and I can see why Ms. Kitty Kat gave me this one. Lime green background, white text. Wow. Excuse me, I seem to be relapsing into the coma my second year literary professor in undergrad induced bi-weekly. It's the kind of coma that kicks in like an acid flashback in the face of all things dull, boring, and desperately trying to be cool. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume this guy uses a Mac. Mac's are great but don't design your shit to mimic their no-frills layouts. It works for an operating system, not so much for a blog. Add some kind of header. The blog is about music, moreover music you like, make the blog as personal as music is. Oh, and the mini ipod is fucking cheesy. I mean, come on. Mini ipod? Couldn't you put some silhouette of a band rocking out? An artistic picture of someone playing some kind of instrument? If you want to steal from Mac, at least steal the black iconic images of the ipod ads and not the boring ipod itself.

I can't lie. What's written is well written. It's eloquent, gramatically correct, and more bland than boiled chicken. He states that the blog is about " A young man talks about albums that matter to him in hopes that you'll do the same," but every single review is about as personable as reading People Magazine's music reviews. It's a snoozefest. Put some of yourself into it. Why do you love the music? What makes this CD awesome to you? Why does this album matter to you? He never really says.

The whole blog is about music and all I see are sporadic posts with an album picture and a brief description of what the album is like. It has all the appeal of itunes reviews without the perk of being able to buy it direct. Which brings me to my next point: Who buys music anymore? Linking to the itunes store is just kind of shitheaded, I think. Download away, but don't pay for it.

I'd love to see something more of himself in the blog. Post what you're listening to this week or month. Post band websites that you adore. Post links to your favorite bands of all-time, and your favorite bands of right now. List your favorite songs. Give details about how music affects you and has changed your life (if it has, which I'm highly doubting.) Post lyrics that make you go "hmmm." Do something more than thinking you found something obscure and giving a half ass thumbs up to it in blog land.

You get a so I don't feel like a total asshole.


and three of these for being absolutely boring, and thinking that the artists you review are obscure and make you semble coolness. The bands aren't obscure, and you could be cool but you're blog has nothing of you in it. Emotionally invest. It pays off, trust me.