Friday, August 04, 2006

Is that like a 'Burnie'?

Alright so I've been absent. Clearly you didn't miss me too much now did you?
Where the hell was I? Who the hell cares?

Pay it no mind you heathens, I was busy playing blackjack with a field mouse and a door knob who told me to "feed my head."

It wasn't until my inbox flickered annoyingly that I felt compelled to jolt with my card winnings and peer through spunsideways-- a very literate and intricate blog of tremendous thesaurical proportions.

The first thing that hit me was the blinding white simplistic blogger template.
Boring? Yes.
Cluttered with flashers, sidebar buttons and links to just about every blogpage out there? No.

*yawn*
I like buttons. I like to push them. It tickles me.

Distraught at the possibility that I'd been handed a shitty, shitty blog to read for punishment of tardiness I poured myself a stiff drink, counted my blackjack money once more, and carved the number #24 in my arm with a dull screwdriver-- Which allowed time for my pupils to adjust a bit from the wrath that fucking template burned into my poor eyeballs.

As my arm bled profusely I read the first entry. Dated July 17th (hmmm, a while ago).

The topic screamed sex-- Yes sex. In a temple no-less; which peaked my curiosity of course... And I admit the flow of expression was quite more intense than my bloodshed... I couldn't stop reading. Queue Muse on my ipod, kick back and enjoy that post again and again.

But it continued, entry after entry... Pieces of wonderful stories that have not really a beginning or an end, that have the potential for expansion and closure. Yet were perfect in their entirety.

Either that or I'm an easy bitch.

I read the whole damn blog people and I kid you not.
And I realize that the template is simple and boring for a reason... The words make the blog.

This author is full of big lingual-scripture and verboseness that makes you want to toggle back and forth from dictionary.com to Wikipedia... But it doesn't take away from the immense creativity that spills from her fingertips to the blogger 'create' page. And unlike many themed blogs out there, there was no purpose or ideal to cater to for the posts.... Just beautiful words that encapture and play upon your creative mind (if you own one).

The fucking sidebar is hiding somewhere at the bottom of this template I just know it... And that burdens me to think I have to play "Where's Waldo" with her profile. Also this blog isn't updated too often (unfortunately) so I have to give it a , and tell Mighty Doll that if she doesn't post this wonderfulness more often I'm sending a team of thpecial helmet wearer's to hunt you down and make you write more shit. Fo sho.

Im also giving it simply since I actually lasted more than the mandatory five minutes in reading the shit even though I now have a pesky blood stain on my couch and a dead spot in my retinas' similar to that of staring at the sun for too long (thanks to the template).


Last, but certainly not least I give spunsideways a Love Note. For the naked barbie doll picture, and because anybody that has sex in a temple is alright with me.

7 comments:

  1. She is an amazing writer. There is no doubt about that.

    I kind of like the template. It's the standard blogger template, yea, but the white suits her style, I think.

    Sidebar is where it should be in firefox, not sure about IE though.

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  2. the bitch wrote way too much for my liking. next one i review better not have long ass posts or they may be accosted for no reason. just sayin'.........

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  3. and quit bragging about your fucking firefox.

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  4. Balls you faggot. I don't appreciate you knocking her long ass writing. The rest of us actually graduated 6th grade.

    You know, if you actually tried to spy literature and not jerkrags you'd be just about keepable.

    You suck. I want to hear about her firefox.. maybe if I'm a lucky bitch she'll let me surf it.

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  5. I can dig it.

    You can surf my firecrotch.

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  6. wow! Thanks muchly!

    It does work in both firefox and safari. I never use IE if I can help it, so I didn't know it didn't work there.

    I'll see what I can do, but I'm a lover not a fighter and wrestling with proprietary code makes me want to cry. ;)

    You know, my livejournal has a dark background but I constantly get complaints that noone can read it. *shrugs* :D

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Grow a pair.