Tuesday, August 15, 2006

It's like a bad acid trip, with no acid.

I realize that I do my reviews on Saturday (usually...for the time being); however, no one was scheduled to go this lovely Tuesday and it suddenly dawned on me that I'm going on vacation this coming weekend. Yes, I'm leaving my little shithole to go to a shithole where they talk slow and have worse accents than I do. You're jealous, don't try to hide it.

Accordingly, I'm reviewing today and the lucky blog is The Drugs Had No Effect On Me . They had no effect on my either, unless you put me near anything that contains flashing lights or would have been sold at the store formely know as The Glow Store.

*cough*

Right, so when I loaded the page things were fucked up. I'm not talking ugly colors, putrid greens, overcluttered sidebars. OH NO! I'm talking nothing lines up at all, a picture of a kitten who dies everytime you blow your load is sitting all cute and fluffy-like over the first post, the header is this disgusting thing, and the background almost makes me feel like I'm back in the store formely known as The Glow Store.

When in doubt, try the bastard spawn of satan otherwise known as Internet Explorer. Ta-dow! Things load peachy keen, shit lines up, and the header image is purposely that ugly, and the background is supposed to launch you into an acid flashback. Glad we figured that out.

I'll keep this short: I really have no idea why he opted to have a header that is reminiscent of the disco era but would still look horrible even after doing a line of blow of someones ass at Studio54. I also have no fucking clue what possessed him to have a background that is a visual assault on the occulars or why he has in fairly hard to read text "but they may have had an effect on you!" underneath the header. I will say that the text that goes along with the header is fantastic: "Proudly wasting blogger's server space since 2005!" That's awesome. The sidebar is peachy keen, or it may just appear that way since it's not making me motion sick by looking at it--who knows?

Thank God the content isn't wretched! It's actually fairly good. It's a personal blog, he writes about random shit as it pops in his head and he writes it rather well. Completely overlooking the fact that "impaired" is mispelled in the second post, he's golden. There's even an explanation for why things look horrible in Firefox but look peachy keen in Internet Explorer. Sticking it to the man (or the "haters" per his dicta) is a valid excuse for making me open up the devil's browser, I suppose.

I particularly like the meme he and his blog circle did where individuals write a chapter of a story, which I think is a far better alternative than filling in some blank, no?

As a Firefox user I give it a and a for the obvious reason that I'm a Firefox user and it's just a fucking mess template wise in that sly little browser.

As an IE user I give it for being a rather enjoyable read that has a lot of different topics discussed and is light-hearted and fun.
I give it a lone for a header and background that leaves me motion sick.
Lastly, you get a for knowingly keeping
your template a nightmare in Firefox to stick it to
some asshole "haters." I can dig it!

9 comments:

  1. hey there,

    I came over to thankyou for your comment on my blog. I'm glad to see there are a few more people out there with brains in their heads instead of their asses.

    I'm actually off to link you!

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  2. This review was so nice, you had to post it twice???

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  3. D'anerah: anytime :)

    Squid: Apparently the drugs had more of an affect on me than I initially thought!

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  4. That is the ugliest template EVER. But you've got to applaud a guy who creates an ugly template just to piss off the bitches. The enemy of my enemy is my crack dealer or something like that.

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  5. speaking of fucked up templates your fill in the blank boxes cut off text for me and make this blog really hard to read...

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  6. Well, if we're going to "..Bitch Too Much," it's nice to know that people listen.

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  7. Another interesting review! I'll have to read Squid's blog again to refresh my memory.

    I'm linking to you fer sure.

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Grow a pair.