Sunday, October 08, 2006

Break Out The Shaving Cream

We seem to have a running theme 'round these parts lately. Good-to-decent blog authors with template issues. Today's blog, Campaign for Unshaved Snatch and Other Rants, utilizes the standard Blogger pink template.

Stop with this template. Please. Pink sucks, and I don't care if it's your favorite color, I don't care if it's the color your Mom wore to your wedding, I don't care if your sorority's pledge pins have the Greek letters spelled out in bright pink relief, STOP WITH THE PINK. For the love of all that's holy, I hate this fucking template like Anne Frank hated creaky floor boards. I especially loathe the white text on the pink header. It is AWFUL. Hell, I'd give this blog 74 stars for just moving to the standard white or the standard black. ANYTHING BUT PINK. Get the point? No more pink templates, ladies and alternatively-inclined gents.

Okay, I'm now spent.

Content-wise, it's a little uneven. She seems to be a decent enough author, and the post about Carvel and Cookie Puss had me smiling wryly, as I remember my own dear ol' Dad's fascination with ice cream cakes. She can spell, and she has a handle on grammar, so it's decent enough in that regard. She's a contributing editor of BlogHer, because God knows, you women need an organization so your Blogging voices are heard, dammit. Is there a BlogHim, I wonder? Who really cares? If you can write, and you don't use a template that makes most sighted people want to gouge out their own eyes, you shouldn't need an organization to proclaim how great your womanhood is. Our female reviewers here may smack me around for that sentiment, I don't know, but personally, I could give a shit if I'm listed on BlogShares, or BlogHer, or whatever the hell else is out there.

Another pet peeve of mine is calling people either by nicknames or letters, and she does this, referring to her spouse as "Husband". You know what? Make up a name for him. Call him Carl or Bruce or Allen or Steven or Chuck. I don't care. Just don't call him "Husband". That drives me insane when I'm reading a blog. Don't refer to your children as kidlets or kiddoes or any other nicknames. You gave them a name, call them that.

She's also apparently a dyed-in-the-wool liberal, with the occasional political post thrown in, which I also loathe to read. If you're going to be a "here's my wacky life and some stories from it" kind of blog, don't tell me what you think of President Bush in a random post. It drives me nuts when bloggers with talent in describing the funny minutiae of their lives decide that they have to be Tim Russert for a day. No, don't. Just don't.

Okay, now, you may think after all that, that I'm going to start tossing around flaming fingers. Well, okay, she's getting two because I fucking LOATHE the pink template and I'm not keen on the title.


You get one star, because I genuinely enjoy some posts that I read through in terms of content, spelling and grammar.


You get to ride the short bus, also, because I hate when bloggers can't give the people in their lives names. His name isn't husband, he has a real name. Like I suggested, make up a name for him or call him by his middle name. Just stop with the "Husband".


And I'm giving you one more star for liking to complain so much, and for the Shawshank love. Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'.


That's it and that's all.

5 comments:

  1. PK, I'm really drunk right now, so don;t hold me accountable in the morning, but I hate this template. And I also have a pink blog of death. But this is just too much pink. Plus, her posts kind of bored be in my post-six pack pluz 2 vodka tonics. I'll read it again later and I may like it. But get rid of all that pink. Jesus.

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  2. I didn't know Pepto Bismal (sp?) blogged!

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  3. What about temporarily pink templates, as in Pink for October (for breast cancer awareness) templates? Hmmm...?

    And I agree with that "Husband" or "Little Bit" naming of people in your life. Pick something original.

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  4. My shaved snatch feels rather vilified at the moment. It's a rather strange feeling.

    Pink is okay, especially if there's a theme to it like Courtney was saying; but dear fucking god that template is pink on acid. I'm not even sure why blogger offers it as an option.

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  5. Thanks for the review. I've read many of the reviews here, and I know how you all hate the brightly colored templates. Not that it makes a difference, but I agree that it is obnoxious and annoying, but I find it sort of ironic as a backdrop to my nasty ranting. (It's so cheerful and girlie...) Anyway, that's why I keep it around. Perhaps I can take Kitty Kat's suggestion and just tone the pink down a bit.

    Glad I could amuse despite that and my lack of inventive names for people. (Which I don't use because I tend to forget what fake names I assign people, which later gets confusing. Sad, I know.)

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Grow a pair.