I got nothing...

Up to bat today is The Color Purple, and the *colorist* for this blog is Megan, from South Florida. (insert eyeroll). Are you actually a salon professional? Because otherwise, that's just too damn contrived, and contrived annoys me.

I'm sorry, Megan. I have to confess that I'm partial to cops' wives from South Florida, but you got me on an off day. Oh, if only I hadn't been awake between 2:30 a.m. and 4:00 a.m. getting my body pillaged by my hot boyfriend (which was great at the time, but now that I'm all groggy and discombobulated and rather cranky at work has turned out badly). And it really isn't even your fault. Sorry.

I read your blog a bit this weekend (that's how I knew you are a cop's wife, I went back to the beginning and started reading). It's not a bad blog, it's not a great blog. The blog template is simple and understated. The blog posts are simple and understated. The purple background makes my eyes hurt. Not because it's too purpley, but because it's not purpley enough. I think it's moving. And that little purple bugs are crawling on my screen. Would it be possible to have a blog called "The Color Purple" with a REAL, true purple used in the logo of the blog and on its background? Because that would be mad cool.

Okay, to put it bluntly, feedback:

1. Megan, a profile would be nice. It annoys me when I have to read and read and read to figure out what this person is blogging about and what her angle is and little quiggly details about her life. Can you post an "about me" page with a few simple facts that make your posts more relevant to me? I'm guessing you're a mom. Appears you were at one point married (2004). I'm guessing that the reason you submitted your blog is to get new readers and widen your exposure. New readers don't know who you are, so you have to introduce them to you in some way so they begin to CARE about reading what you've written. If you don't hook them in from the first visit, they're gone. Even after spending an hour reading your blog, I really don't feel like I know much about you. That's kind of a bummer, frankly. I doubt I will return because you didn't hook me.

2. The template is just ...zzzzzzzz... Not bad, not great, just there. It's clean, it's workable, it isn't too cluttered (though your pictures took an eternity to load). I'd suggest getting rid of the Blogger navigation bar (you don't need it and it distracts from the template). What is Other Colors? Nothing loaded under it so I still don't know. I'm guessing that it's blogrolling, which has worked like crap today on my blog, too, and now I'm considering dumping it. If you really must post 20 family pictures on a page, consider adding an extended post summary function to your blog so that people can load up your first page in under 20 minutes. Go to blogger help and look for "hacks." There are (relatively) simple instructions for creating extended post summaries on blogger. Do you really need all those blog promotion devices in your sidebar? (And really, dahlin', the fact that you're on blogspot is a dead tip-off that you *power blogger*). And must they really be so large? Also, please, consider a less eye-hurting background...

3. Your vacation looked wonderful and I'm intensely jealous. (hate, hate, hate).

4. Your accompanying travelogue...zzzz...

Have you ever gone to a person's house and been forced to view a slideshow of people you don't know vacationing in places you've never been, and heard the ear-melting..."And that's Uncle Norm windsurfing off the coast of New Zealand..." drone of a family vacation narrative? Yeah. Been there. Done that. Today, on your blog, in fact. C'mon girl. It's ITALY for chrissakes.

In closing, if you use this blog to keep family and friends informed of your daily affairs, this blog is fine as is. But, if you want to draw in more readers, you're going to have to give them more.

I give it because it's not bad, but it's not great,

and a for the fugly background that made me want to gouge the eyes out of my skull.