Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Pass The Dutch.

I ain't gonna lie. I enjoyed me week off. I'm enjoying a week without Girlfriend even more, and before I go on let me apologize to Atomic Fireballs for referring to my girlfriend as girlfriend and not by a proper noun. But, I'm back ergo we shall get down to bizznass.

Someone once said: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Aside from wanting to go back in time and fuck his shit up, I'm going to have to guess that the individual who so wisely stated that fortune cookie style proverb didn't grow up in a Jewish household. Unfortunately for Champagne Going Down, I did.

I have no issues with this blog, other than to say I absolutely do not get it. Not one teeny tiny bit. I read through a few of the archive pages, and I was still sitting there thinking out loud (so I look like I'm actually doing the engine turbine I've been assigned) "What the fuck?" throughout most of my reading.

The template is the standard blogger white template, to put this nicely, makes me feel like I'm walking towards the big light at the end of the tunnel, and when I reach the light, I turn it off and engage in a coma. I'm not a fan of any of the blogger templates, quite frankly, but the absolute whiteness of this one has always placed it at the top of my hate-list. Outside of my abhorrence for the template, and the fact she should roll up her archives, things are pretty neat and organized. I will say that with a title like "Champagne Going Down" I expected a lot more from the template. I was positively stoked when I read the title. Even a simple header that has little cute champagne bubbles, or something to that effect, would really liven up the template and take it from coma inducing to possibly engaging. Get creative!

Back to the content. Like I said, I have no fucking clue what the shit is going on. None. Not even an inkling. Each post is a pretty much a picture, followed by a brief textual thingy, and that's all generally accompanied by a link. Now, I realize that blogs are a subjective thing, but there has to be something to grasp the reader, and there has to be a reason someone is posting it on the world wide web, right? Otherwise, open up a word document and have a fucking party. Maybe I don't get it because I'm a stupid "American" ( I use quotes because I got citizenship after the age of 12, and I say that because the author is British), or maybe I'm to much of a typical male and, thus, I don't understand anything that doesn't involve sex, swearing, pervertedness, boobs, sex, disgusting humor, sex, or sex. I guess what I want to see is a little more of her, and a little less pictures and long link titles. I guess I'm a glutton for the dynamic human being.

I give it a 'cause I'm in such a good mood as a result of my freedom from Girlfriend.

I also give it for the comatose template, and for feeling like an absolute shmuck while reading your blog. I didn't get it! I hate that!


  1. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    huh? what?

    *rolls over*

  2. I dunno, she's been blogging for a couple of years...maybe she ran out of stuff to say. Never happens to me, but it's always possible.

    I agree with DB...zzzzzz.

  3. It's a very quiet blog. Nothing glaringly horrible about it, I guess, but there's no zing. I agree that the name is great -- the template needs to go along with that.

  4. Ah. Now I see why you wanted to trade days with me.

    I have no opinion. Maybe she did run out of steam?

    Or she's just that boring?

  5. It was a disappointment on many levels.

  6. Bored me to tears...and that's saying alot since I'm easily entertained...

  7. Agreed. I'm mightly easily entertained, and all this blog needs is a single element, whether it be content or template, and I'd probably be engaged.

    Or some hardcore porn right there on the main page, that would also help.

  8. That's what we need, some porn site thrown into our mix!

    Alright. I've spent the last half hour trying to get a "recent comments" section going on the sidebar, and for the life of me I cannot get it to work in any way shape or form. I think my ulcer is happy.

  9. Is a suck-tastic blog a bluck? I'm just asking.

    GVNP, I hearby take back my rant on calling people by alternate non-name names. I think I have it nailed down to when I click on a blog and see "G and J came over with M and Q, and me and 7 and # and them all went out." Don't make me peek through hundreds of posts to find out who the fuck those people are. That's my new rant.

    Oh, hi, everyone.


Grow a pair.