Thursday, May 10, 2007

Strictly For Your Titillation

Don't you just love that word, titillation? It sounds so dirty. And it is! Woot!

I'm in a good mood, I am mocking that special man in my life for googling uber dorky references to female genitalia. As if the uber dorky reference wasn't enough, follow it up with, "I'll have to google it," and yes, ladies and gents, we have a wiener.

Anyway, we're talking about blogging here, not pretty pearls or love blossoms or the man in the boat...

Today, we've got Blonde Chick Blogging. What a coinkidink. Your reviewer is also a blond chick blogging. I promise that our shared hair coloring will in no way impact the impartiality of this review, because, as my stupid exasshatband reminded me, I'm not a real blond. But what does that matter?

Basically, to clarify my reviewing strategies here, my litmus test on a blog is this..."Would I drink with this person, or do they remind me of someone I try to avoid like the plague at work?" If the former, they get a buncha stars. If the latter, some flaming fingers. It's a pretty easy system, really. Generally speaking, if a person can write, has a clean and not retarded blog layout, has interesting stories to tell, and doesn't seem like a freaky Jesus Crispy, they're in. If not, out.

I like this chick. I like her blog. She makes me laugh. She pulls no punches. She can write.

There's only a couple of things I'd change. First, blondie, get rid of the fucking blog explosion "rent my blog crap." Those things are LAME. You draw readers to your blog by bringing IT, that indefinable IT that we love when we see IT, not through stupid blog promotional pyramid schemes. Those things are retarded. In fact, way too many blog promotional devices in your sidebar. You really don't need them. Really. Be brave. Be bold. Be adventurous. I know you want people to read your blog, but those things for the most part aren't going to generate many readers for you.

Secondly, I love the pictures, they're hilarious, but they are making your page load really slow. Consider posting thumbnails on the main page, you can do that on imageshack.us, and many other photo hosting sites. Just resize the photo when you upload it the pic. Doing that, or hiding the pics behind a link, will make your site's main page load quite a bit quicker. Speaking of slow loading, that just goes back to the other point, every single little blinky blog promotional device you add makes your blog load that much slower. And, really, no one wants that, least of all me.

I like this blog. It's right on. And the post entitled "$138,905 My Ass..." is awesome. Rock on, sister.

3 comments:

  1. The salary post was killer. And inspired my Mother's Day post, btw.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know how anonymous read her blog. When I tried to click on the links it said it was a open to selected readers only or whatever blog. &*^&$#

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.