Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Retro Rocks

I know that I am just as mean and shitty as a man (heh, sorry guys). It's true. I've owned that side of me.

But you know, when you look at as many blogs as I do on a weekly basis, you just kind of get a feel for what you like. I like a simple blog design. I prefer something unique that sets the blog apart from the rest of the crowd. Not so unique, however, that it distracts from the content.

My blog review for this week, Condi's Hair, is ALMOST perfect. The color scheme is great (and I love, love, love polka them). The design is clean and user friendly. I'd recommend putting into place drop down lists for archives and recent posts. That will help to clean up the sidebar quite a bit. Consider getting rid of distracting and unhelpful spyware like my blog log. They slow down your page load and look messy in your sidebar. Make sure you add a review button from ask. ;)

I don't see any problem with your blogroll, but you can also roll it up, as well, to match everything else you've tidied up.

A couple of things....limit the number of posts on your front page to around 5. That way it doesn't go on and on and on. Secondly, make sure the fonts of every post match the fonts from other earlier posts. I like the smaller font you are currently using. Thirdly, I don't think you need a picture on EVERY SINGLE POST, it makes your page load slower, and I don't think that's helpful to new readers. Lastly, give us a little more meat about you: who are you, how did you end up in Portland, who is Kansas? Consider doing a cast of characters or FAQ about frequently mentioned bit actors on the Kara Show. That helps new readers get up to speed and understand your posts faster.

I like the template, I love the retro look of the blog, and I like the posts. This chick is cool. I'd drink with her. I like her topics and her wit and her brevity and her cute voice. It could use more explicit sex, drugs and rock and roll, but eh. I can't always have everything, and there's always Ryan to fall back on.

I wouldn't say I want to have children with her in a torrid lesbian affair, but she's aight. I think I'll be reading her in the future.

I give her .

And a happy bunny for good measure: Myspace Layouts



On another subject...Regarding recent reviews by me...

I want to address a few whining posts by a recent reviewee, who called me, "just as mean and shitty as a man," and made a big deal about how mean her (very fair and hardly nasty) review was.

First off, big girls don't whine when they get what they've asked for. That's a key rule of being a big girl.

Secondly, the idea that men are somehow meaner or shittier than women is a load of sexist tripe of the very worst sort. My best friend (over 23 years now) is a guy. We talk at least once a month and have stayed close even though he lives on the west coast, and I live on the east coast. Some of my best friends at present are guys I talk to every single day. They have coached me, encouraged me, shared their skills with me, taught me things I'd never have learned otherwise, opened their hearts to me, and loved me. I <3 my fellow male reviewers on this site, and have never yet disagreed with one of their reviews.

I realize some women can't handle directness, it freaks their shit all the way out. But I prefer it. At least you know where you stand. So, if we're going to label men as shitty and mean, let's talk about all the mean-spirited, passive-aggressive, bitter, vindictive, gossipy, back-stabbing, gold-digging female slut-hoes out there, k? mmmmkay. That comment above just really offended me, not only as a woman, but as a daughter, lover, friend, and mother.

And I thought the whining was just pathetic. So, if you ask to be reviewed by a site whose address is "I will fucking tear you apart," don't act like a toddler when you receive.

Hello my beloved minions. I just have one little thing to say: WHEN YOU SUBMIT, DO IT ONCE, AND ONLY ONCE! I update the list monthly and I have yet to miss someone. SO! To the person who has now submitted six times in the past two days, BACK THE SHIT OFF or I will "accidently" forget to add you to the list.


  1. Okay, how come YOU are getting all the good shit lately? Conspiracy! Conspiracy!

    This is very good, and so was Ryan's blog. We'll see what tomorrow brings, but it ain't lookin' too promising.

  2. You know, it's like the fates have conspired to bring things together for me and fill my days with sunshine and butterflies and such.

  3. Is my resolution so insanely high that the backgrounds on these blogs are HUGE?

    NO CONSPIRACY! I go in order of submission, and your rant reminds me I have to rant about something.

    Oh, and the blog is okay. Not my cuppa.

  4. Well I heartily thank you for the review and am in the process of making the template revisions suggested. That being said...what the fuck? Why is MY review sharing the spotlight with several non-related PSAs? I feel used. Used and dirty. But definitely used.

  5. We suck like that. We're users. But yeah, too much ranting and raving here. We need a TAGBOARD!

    Just kidding. We don't need a TAGBOARD. Your blog is good, and we shouldn't clutter up your glory with our rantings.

  6. Listen Kara, there is nothing wrong with feeling used and dirty. In time, perhaps, you may even come to enjoy it. Just ask Ryan. ;)

  7. And don't fucking bitch about your review, or I may reconsider.

  8. Woah Woah Woah.

    Our site, we do what we want. Just like you insist on having an obnoxious polka dot background that strangely matches the belt I'm wearing, we insist on putting PSA's on your review.

    Deal with it!

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  10. Condi's Hair is one of the best sites I've seen in a while. Ditto lesbian crush but only in a platonic way because I prefer the penises. Or peniie. No...penis. My husband's.

    That's all.

  11. Whoot whoot and holla back to the PSA! I get a kick out of reading the post-review blog entry ... you know, the one that goes, "I got reviewed and they said I suck but they didn't read anything in my archives and I'm really really very funny and I'm not a mommyblogger AT ALL I just write about my life and I can't help it if ..." and blah blah blah yada yada yada. Then all their friends comment about how they don't care what AAYSR says, they love her anyway ... *snore* Pull up your socks, people, and don't whine!


Grow a pair.