Friday, June 29, 2007

Wake Me When It's Over

Oh good GOD.

Another Friday.

Another Fireballs Friday.

You know you love it.

The Life According To Rich is today's enchilada on the Elegante platter of reviews. Okay, let's dig in. Firstly, it's a standard Blogger white template with black type. I can understand, it's probably the most easily readable of all the standards to those of us with failing eyes. However, and I say this as nicely as possible, if you're going to go with a standard Blogger template, look into personalizing it a bit with the "Settings" tab behind the scenes. Splash some color onto it, do something with it until you find something that works for you. Life doesn't have to be drab, my friend.

So we've established that he's lazy in terms of template. He's also lazy in terms of title. You're a teacher. You try to mold young minds with your previously-gained knowledge, Rich. Show some GODDAM imagination with a title, please. What the hell is "Life According to Rich"? Do you think you're John Irving? Negro, please. I beg of you, please come up with a better blog title than that. It's pedestrian and lame.

Let's review.

Lazy template? Check. Lazy title? Check.

Okay, the content has to be decent, right?

Rich is a decent enough author with a sense of humour, but clearly, he's not motivated enough to post often. The last entry was June 9, and by my calendar, that was 20 days ago. Clearly, he's lazy about making entries. When he does bother, they are relatively entertaining, and I did enjoy the Teacher Speak post quite a bit. So, here are the recommendations from on high.

Post more often, please. Don't waste my time with a review if you're not relatively current, because we look like douches making efforts here with half-assed bloggers like you. Play with the colors on your blog and spice it up. Come up with a new title, something that shows your creative side. Make me want to come back to you, don't be like every other slice of life, "life according to", ramblings, thoughts, meanderings blog out there. I can't take these anymore, they make me want to wretch.

In short,


  1. People's overall lack of creativity and complete love and/or apathy towards all things mundane to the point of embracing it as their own is just getting obnoxious. Blogging is a prime example of that: Everyone has one, and the majority of people don't have an interesting or creative thing to say. Figures.

    Anyway, if you are unaware of the drama, or lack-thereof, with the other review site, they claim they didn't submit and think we're mean! *gasp!* Us? Mean? C'mon now!

    I think I noticed a passing comparison to IT2M--they think we're mean just for the sake of it. I repeat *gasp!* And thus, I am done stirring the pot and go back to yelling at my computer for always giving me the fucking Queen of Spades no matter what I do in this completely totalitarian game of Hearts.

  2. Ah yes, the ever-popular ramblings/thoughts/musings format. The thing is, we're all convinced what goes on between our ears is so unusual/interesting/universal and we're such insightful/funny/poignant writers that EVERYONE wants to share our thoughts. Gotta admit, I'm no exception. We all want to think we're something interesting, like a lintel or at least a window frame, when all in all, we're just another brick in the wall.

    Thus endeth today's sermon.

  3. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

    And yes, my review will be up soon. I love it when the entire network takes a righteous shit on everyone. Least it's not just met his time! YAY!


Grow a pair.