Thursday, June 28, 2007

She returns: The WTF series

Seriously, WTF? Today's blog is called "hooker parking spaces," but it is nothing I am used to. Shit. I was hoping for hookers, to tell you the truth. Nothing like prostitution to keep my attention riveted.

But what I've found here is kind of a mess. I think this is what happens when you cross the source of all evil (Microsoft) with blogging. And here I was just bitching and moaning about blogspot.

My first advice, dude, is move this. Put it on blogspot, or typepad, or livejournal or something. This format is too strange and too hard to follow.

I think that you might have something interesting to say, and a story worth reading, but when you haven't blogged since January of 07, and then the next post skips backwards 8 fucking years to 1999, I'm just left shaking my head and muttering to myself like the wild-haired homeless woman who seems to mainly reside on the sidewalk by the grocery store down the road.

So, some basic rules if you want people to read your blog:

1. Title it.
2. Keep the same font throughout the blog.
3. Post on a regular basis (at least once a week).
4. Give some introductory background of who you are and what you are doing so I don't have to read for an hour to figure that shit out.
5. NO AUTOPLAY MUSIC. NEVER, EVER, EVER. UGH.
6. Get a template/layout that makes it easier for people to figure out what the hell you are doing.

I really hate it when people slap shit up online without any rhyme or reason. It baffles and confuses me, and it leaves me in an extremely foul mood.

If you're going for the minimalist look, I suggest something like this. See, it has room for your profile (where you can tell us more about your sexy ass), and room for you to post photos of your journeys on flickr and have them show up on your blog. If you need help, consider e-mailing me or one of the other folks on here. The writing is good, but it's fucking hard to get through because of how it's formatted.

Okay so...I give it a

But you, you I give a because you are a soldier, and I fucking love a man in uniform.

Srsly, though...implement these suggestions pronto, or I will court-martial your blog.

xoxox,

Lil Love Bites

5 comments:

  1. Sugar dumplin, where be is the link to his site?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was reading the blog and it left me wondering and worrying. Why is he not checking in? Is he ok? Why is his wife's myspace stuff all inactive? Did they break up?

    Man, it's like a soap opera that just ended.

    How mean!


    Maybe I should call his mother and check on him.....



    Just kidding, not a stalker here.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This just proves my theory: I would be one irresistible dude. As a chick, I'm eh, but as a guy? No one would be able to resist me. NO ONE.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Two irresistable dudes is all this place can handle, thank you very much.

    The damn thing is all muddled up, timeline-wise. It makes no sense. The writing is nothing to write home about, and clearly MS has no concept of the word "template".

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.