Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Posers. Never Cool.

Ahhhh, yes. What happens when you take AAYSR and water it down a whole hell of a lot and take out the stunning stylings and wit of all our lovely lady reviewers, and the brute manliness of Balls and I?

You get this.

Now, I'm not going to hate on the site just for the sake of hating on the site, and I will say that their template is much more organized than ours in a lot of respects, but it just seems like AAYSR-Lite. The template has absolutely no fucking personality, unless going for the most generic attempt to look like a 2nd grade bulletin board is the style they were going for, well then yea, mission accomplished but I’m ain’t gonna say that resembling a 2nd grade bulletin board adds and flavor to this blog . It lacks the panache of AAYSR. When you first look at AAYSR there some emotion that's evoked. Those fucking aliens are scary, bro! But when you first look at the not-so cleverly titled "So many Blogs, So Little Time," there’s nuffin. It's like staring at a white wall-yea, sure there's tons of possibilities, but why take a chance and be bold when you can be as plain vanilla and neutral as they come?

The reviewers have no personality too, and nothing that they write makes them personable. It's clinical and sterile. I've seen hospitals with more flair than these ladies seem to have. I’m not saying you need 37 pieces of flair to express yourself [Lord I hope you get that reference], but a little bit is much needed, especially when you are a blog that’s run purely for entertainment purposes. I like to fool myself andthink that you get a feel for what each of AAYSR's reviewers likes and dislikes, and you get a sense for our respective sick sense of humors and our overall personalities. When all else fails, at least you get to laugh at our highly emo icon images which are emo-tized versions of our real selves. You get none of that here. It's a dash more bland to go with the blah and banausic of the template, and the reviews done by these ladies are completely indistinguishable. Maybe they need some man meat up on their site, in which case I'd be more than willing to offer my meat, but everything about this blog says “zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz” and I’d be hard pressed to even stop by and read the site, let alone submit.

Anyway, their pictures are like stereotypical housewife caricatures, and based on the template and the header image I'm going to gander a guess and assume it's run by PTA Moms for all those mommy blogs out there that just don’t understand why anyone in their right mind isn’t as fanatical about their children as they are. It's not that we don't like Ye Olde Momma Bloggers, it's just that we like our Momma's to be MILFS with something more to say than “Junior took a shit today, isn’t that wonderful?” and this site just doesn't seem to have that prerequisite.

I will say I find it beyond fucking amusing that this blog started in January 2007 and has a lot of the same elements of our site, and it's even more amusing that they submitted the blog as if we wouldn't know the sole purpose for their submission is to get some more hits and submissions on their own site.

Pathetic.

You want submissions do it the good old fashion way and make with the head, ladies. Don’t submit your cheap knock off site to the premier bloggy-blog review site and hope you can get some of our loyal minions [and I say that with the utmost respect and kind heartedness, oh beloved readers] to swing your way. Be thankful I even linked you. What can I say, I got laid last night and I’m in a good mood.

That said, if you really want to submit and have a shitty review of your website done-I mean seriously, the majority of the blogs they reviewed in the month of June got a rating of a 7 or higher, wow! they must be uber critical!-well then go right ahead. Just keep in mind that we here at AAYSR are not afraid to tell it like it is and be brutally honest, even if it means telling you that your blog elicits feelings of extreme pain, agony, and drives us to want to gouge out our eyes with a spork.

Least you know we're honest.



You get a a few
a a
and a just to accompany my reference above.



You also get a for how well organized your site is.

I know, the power of getting pussy on a mans mood is incalculable.

**If the images don't load, sorry. My internet/computer is all fucked up 'cause I'm in Brazil. If anyone feels like fixing shit, go for it.**

21 comments:

  1. Yea. I fixed it for you butt sauce!

    You know, I can't say I don't agree with a single thing you said about the site. Outside of the fact we do have our own review site and there's a whole "competition" thing that most people are going to assume is why they got a not so rosey review, I think they're too nice to their submissions, the template is a snooze fest, and there's really nothing at all that would make me remember that site long enough to want to go back.

    You're right though, it's so much mo' betta organized than ours. Bah hum bug!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't get the point of submitting a blog that reviews to another for a review. Then again, maybe I'm inhaling too much AquaNet or something. *dunno*

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know. It's sort of like armpit sniffing, "Do I smell, do you smell?"

    I would think that a site that review would not need a review by a review site.

    Personally, I think that AAYSR's lack of orgazimation is part of it's charm. Don't get all nuts and start putting everything in it's place or you are so off my bloglist.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh come on. First IT2M then these dipshits? What the hell, man? Why are we the asshole magnets? Oh, yeah, most of us are assholes.

    Well done then.

    Nice job, GNVP. Way to call'em what they are. POSEURS!

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's not that your site is disorganized, it's more that it requires you to click randomly to find the inner workings of anything on the sidebar. It reduces clutter though, so mission accomplished.

    I prefer you guys to them. Ugly brown background and all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The author(s) fucking make any site, giving it personality and a pulse, and that one is limp and half-dead on both counts. They're only doing 15 pieces of flair {sigh} which if they feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay...but I've already forgotten what their site looks like.

    Maybe their submission to you was a cry for help.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow. Could our Blog Award Of the Day not come at a better time?

    Eat that you lackluster, well-organized, Housewife squad! WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU!

    Tee hee!

    No one can outdo our 50 peices of flair.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fuck 50 pieces of flair, we have 5,000 pieces of flair.

    And we're hot.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'd fuck us. That's so true.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Flair or no flair, I love you guys. Except when you're mean to me, and then my mommy blog and I just cry in our strawberry daquiri.

    Damn it's good to be a gangster.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You love us! You really love us!

    ReplyDelete
  12. if i remember correctly, and i'm thinking i do..when italk2much submitted for a review, y'all ended up getting more submissions, not them.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You may be right about that, but it's still a douche move. "Let's be WACKY and let them review US! We're WACKY!!!"

    Whatver. I'm done with them.

    Buttah, nice to see you back around.

    ReplyDelete
  14. you know me balls...can't stay away for to long

    ReplyDelete
  15. You think they'll acknowledge the fact we reviewed them?

    I noticed a few possible jabs at what was said here in their latest review.

    How useless! They submit and don't even engage in some kind of war. That sucks. I was sharpening my already razor sharp wit and working on my already expansive vehement rhetoric all last night!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dammit, I was polishing my brass knuckles and honing my switchblade for a war! I was robbed!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oooh! I'm going to watch the site for a few days now, just to see the "they totally didn't get our site and we're so way cooler than they think we are" post! I love that post! Hee!

    ReplyDelete
  18. There will be no blog war because we simply did not submit our site. Obviously it was not intended to be reviewed, nor would it be our choice to have one. We enjoy what we are, and we don't want to compete, nor fight with you. We have a different readership, and for that we are thankful.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wait a second. Are you seriously going to sit there and think you are taking the holier than thou pathway by abstaining from fighting with us when in reality we didn't even bother to fight with you, nor have we done anything but what we're supposed to do: review blogs that are submitted.

    Whether you submitted or not, it was submitted and we did what we do with all of our submissions-review it.

    Obviously your readership is so much better than our readership if someone unbeknownst to you submitted your blog to be reviewed. If you have issues, take it up with the bitch who submitted you and spare us the bullshit act of trying to take the higher road.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.