Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Doooooooooonut

Life in the Mind of a Modest Genius. Word up to that, biatch! ‘cause I sure can relate. It’s not easy being a splendiferous specimen of humanity, let alone a splendiferous specimen of humanity that is balls to the walls fuckin’ awesome, gorgeous, and smarter than the average bear. Sure, you say it’s no small feat to be smarter than Yogi Bear, but when you have a nut sack the parameters of what constitutes intelligence are death defying. I mean think about it! Men are the messiah’s of all activities which require you to do nothing more than turn off the function of your brain and let the good times roll, and it’s a rare breed of XY that actually maintains some level of active thinking at almost all times (things done while with the “guys” excluded because, and remember this equation, peer pressure + male ego = a force only the most mature and wise of men can resist). Put it to you this way, women may have a place in the extreme sports arena, but men are the founding fathers of fucking stupid when it comes to that shit. How many times has Carey Hart broken every single bone in his body, healed, and gotten right back up on the bike for a repeat? How many times has a man who isn’t a meth addict or seriously fucked up on some kind of substance had an issue cumming, even if he was having sex with a post-op tranny in a septic tank? How many men do you know that are in total awe of Carey Heart and would find the story of fucking a post-op tranny in a septic tank a story that is not only worth repeating but a testament to how awesome that guy is? I rest my case.

The template ain’t bad. It ain’t good though, either. I’ve probably said it every single time I’ve reviewed a blog with the wretched 3 column template, and the fuck I’m going to let this time be an exception: Three column templates are rarely, if ever, an effective way to organize things. If it’s not done right, and thus far I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing one that is, it looks absolutely cluttered and horrifying. Maybe that’s the look he’s going for, but I’m going to guess it’s not. It’s a veritable sandwich of yellow text, and don’t see no ketchup red to make me want to eat it up, if you know what I’m saying. There’s no reason for a 3 column layout, and there’s no reason you should have that much verbiage sitting on your blog. Are 4 different link sections seriously necessary? Is it necessary to showcase the books you recommend? The majority of the smut making up the two sidebars is nothing more than shit than can be consolidated-like putting all the links in one section-or could just be placed on a different page and linked-like the book and movie recommendations and all your photo albums.

Outside of my standard 3 column diatribe, the fact he tries to make money from blogging (FOR SHAME! Although if the little woman keeps spending time with Kitty and buying things that no one in their right mind should, I may have to beg Kitty to try and score us some cash from this gig.), and the fact he has way to much shit clogging up the pipes of his sidebars, it’s organized. Not impeccably organized, but decent enough. Not sure if I like the black and mustard duo, but I’ll let it slide.

Onto the content: I like it. He reminds me of what my gramps probably was like, what my father was like, and what I’ll probably be like when I actually let myself move beyond the maturity of a 10 year old. It’s basically a blog about the goings on of this supposed Genius and his commentary on the world around him.He scores mad points for loving the Transformers flik because, even if you think the movie is nothing more than special effects, watching them transform is fucking amazing. AMAZING.

I give it for some totally righteous content.



Oh, and a for the three column layout. That's just a sin, ranking right up there with murder. I shit you not.

1 comment:

  1. This place is dead this week huh?

    I'm not buying your bullshit argument about being intelligent to begin with, let alone that you're more intelligent than most guys 'cause you're a pussy when it comes to anything that may be painful.

    Three columns=Faux Pas, and sorry, I can't stand the mustard yellow. I can't decide if it looks like a fucked up bumblebee or a bottle of mustard falling into it's own abyss. Hmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.