Tuesday, March 25, 2008

George ain't write

As an Ask and You Shall Receive debutante, I was more than a little anxious about how to approach my first review. I've always fancied myself a jovial fellow, so should I take on the mantle of the gentle, friendly Ask reviewer? Or should I unleash my inner critic and come out, six guns blazing vitriolic lead into my unsuspecting victim? The decision was made for me when I was handed the great steaming turd that is Georgeiswrite.com. One sec, let me just cock my revolver.

Georgeiswrite.com, as far as I can tell is a vehicle for the glorification of George - a Singoporean jack-of-all-trades. George claims to be an actor, engineer, entrepreneur, executive, web designer, writer and male beauty contestant. His latest gig seems to be a campaign to be elected the hottest executive in Micronesia. I can only assume that he submitted his site for review in order to drum up support for that cause because he certainly can't have thought that this was going to go well for him.

The Professor is a little bit of a grammar tyrant (some say pedant) and nearly couldn't get past the legion of spelling, punctuation and capitalization problems on this site. First of all, what does the title mean? George is correct? George is a writer? On his "About" page, George says - "When things aint right, George is always write." I still don't know what the hell he's talking about.

Let's not get bogged down. George is from Singapore and English may be his second language or there may be a different dialect at play. So in the interest of international relations, I'm grudgingly willing to leave most of the grammatical issues aside. But I must say that 1) The first person singular pronoun (I) is always fucking capitalized and 2) If English is your native tongue then don't quit your day job, mate.

Moving on from the slaughter of my mother tongue, let's take a look at the meat of the matter - content. There are countless people out there who, on one unfortunate day, ran up on a website that convinced them they could make millions of their local currency by publishing a blog. The blogs that these people put together are inevitably poorly written, self-aggrandizing pieces of shit. I typically navigate quickly away from sites like these if I'm unfortunate enough to stumble on one. I didn't have that luxury this time and I'm in a foul mood. George seems to be one of these bloggers, but I struggled to figure out what he is trying to sell. He says that he will "Consult, Convert and Create" a simple and beautiful site for me. Even though I'm a sucker for alliteration, I would be reluctant to hire George because he uses a standard Wordpress template for his own page. Oh, and George, here is a hint - if, despite all evidence to the contrary, you have a web design service to sell then link to it from your blog. Most people aren't going to be unfortunate enough to have to review your site and try and find your crappy service. And, it's clothe my site, not cloth my site. God damn it, I can't keep giving you these free lessons!

What George really seems to be selling is himself. He wants me to vote for him for this and vote for him for that. I'm not inclined to do so because I don't really get to know George. I feel no connection to George. George claims that he's opinionated, but I can't find any of his opinions. For the most part, there is just no substance to his posts; most of them are just a few semi-comprehensible phrases. Some of them are just a title, presumably designed to draw search engine traffic - "She’s Effing Matt Damon" or "Big Girl You Are Beautiful...". Come on George, give me something! My beloved has a slightly harsh term for those that don't inspire her passions - "nothing people". With apologies to Eddie Vedder, I think that's George - a nothingman.

Still and all, the Professor is hesitant to pull out the H-bomb on poor George. I'm inclined to go with the "Meh" rating here. George doesn't inspire loathing or hatred, he's just one of a countless number of bloggers that's probably coming to realize that blogging isn't going to make him his first million. That being said, if George's first language isn't Tamil or Malay or Mandarin then he gets the big explosive finger for crimes against the Professor's mother tongue.

EDIT: I'm posting a photo of George's original comment to this blog just in case there is any question as to whether he submitted it or not. I think the comment makes his willingness to be reviewed perfectly clear.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

215 comments:

  1. Professor Booty, stick around.

    ReplyDelete
  2. By God he sounds like an underwhelming bastard. Poor George...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good gravy, that's a terrible site.

    Professor, can we REALLY move on once the mother tongue has been slaughtered?

    It goes to show - WAY too many people on these internets.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have a paper on my desk. It is titled "Expressions for high stress days". I'd like to offer this one for everyone's use today:

    Earth is full. Go home.

    I thought it might come in handy in this situation. I also thought "Meh" was a bit generous. With 'a bit' being an intentional understatement, in case that part wasn't clear.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know y'all were worried that all the estrogen on this site would kill poor Nutjobber, but no. We made it a point to recruit a new pool of testosterone. The conversation between the girls went, "we need another penis."

    And here he is, in living color. He so totally rocks. And we knew y'all would love him. ;) He's smart AND hot.

    Thus, Ask will rock on, in spite of the dearly departed.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Booty, you nailed it.

    Aside from being a complete waste of internet space, George continues the grand Ask tradition of bloggers who overuse ellipses. I think we ought to devise a truly terrible torture for those offenders. Something to do with scorpions.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the torture should involve prunes. And ants.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm, like, WAY too tough and manly to let the overwhleming chick-ness of Ask get to me, ladies. Plus, and call me gender-biased if you MUST, but the girls that play in our playground far outclass the boys in bringing the snark...and, actually, the wit as well.

    It IS nice to have another member join the penis-club, though.

    (Did you guys see what I did there? Another "member"? GOD I'm funny.)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like ellipses.

    I like prunes too.

    Ants, though, I can do without...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nothing wrong with ellipses. They're marvelous little marks, when used appropriately and with restraint. Otherwise they can be little speckled bastards who interrupt flow and indicate a wishy-washy writer.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Hi Guys, i finally made on the national papers and yes i am excited. I went early morning to grab the copies and God it was an amazing feeling. All glory goes to Him…Here’s the link."

    Oh shit. That cracks me up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I like puns. I like members. I like making fun of men who are too pretty with small members and brains.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lara, "meh" was probably generous, but I come from the background where you've got to treat every student like a delicate flower. Give me some time to make the transition to tearing them to shreds. Just. Give. Me. Time.

    Hey Bitey, I blush.

    It's great to be (and to have) a member!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey, does anyone remember that interview Madonna gave where she said she thought she had a cock...in her mind?

    Like, a mind-cock?

    Anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ten bucks says that guy sings "I Feel Pretty" in front of his mirror every morning.

    By the way, love bites, hurts so good kind of bites are totally acceptable! (just my opinion)

    I am proof this site works. If you have a good blog, anyway. I have realized I no longer have to subject myself to blogs that make me want to dig out my eyeballs with a spoon. (other than my own, of course) I can just come here and let you all sort them out for me now!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Booty, we're happy to have your member amongst us.

    Jobber, I don't remember that interview, but I've always had invisible balls. Huge, hairy ones. Does that make me less sexy?

    Angel, we're here to help. And, I can totally see small-membered pretty boy singing to himself in front of the mirror.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Huge, hairy, INVISIBLE balls?

    It's too bad that concept doesn't rub off on the guys at my local beach...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, and of course, my dear, you could a six-foot steel-beam protruding from your belly-button ass and you'd still be a hot mamma-jama...though difficult to hug.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Throw a "have" in there, wouldja?

    ReplyDelete
  21. And, um, what is a "belly-button ass"?

    I'm going to walk away from the computer for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  22. But before I go, with sincere apologies to the Professor for writing a fucking NOVEL in his comments, I must point out our spiffy new tagline...

    Ms. Bites - well played, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi, My name is George and i am the owner of the blog. I enjoyed reading your reviews and comments as well. Good job....i am not here to make my first million on blogging but i am here to just jot down few lines from my life. i know you reviewed my site like two days ago like my "Google Analytic" says but the matter of the fact is you got me at the wrong time and that too during a popularity contest. Anyway keep up the good work. ciao.

    and fuck you...

    ReplyDelete
  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I appear to have pissed George off a wee bit.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "The matter of the fact" is that your blog is a steaming turd, on any day.

    Delusion is a hell of a drug.

    ReplyDelete
  27. That's funny - I wasn't sure until the "fuck you", and, to be honest, I don't think he was either.

    This is great: 24 comments before we even heard from the blog-owner; now we've got a full day of play ahead of us!

    Well done, Prof!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Is there a write time for George? I think not.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Does George have the write stuff?

    Oof - terrible. Apologies.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I think you're dead on, Nutjobber, could have gone either way right up til the end. The fucking irony of it is that if he showed that much passion in his blog I may have been more favorably inclined toward it.

    No, there's still the raping of my mother tongue...

    ReplyDelete
  31. A mother tongue murderation, if you would permit me to say, Professor.

    ReplyDelete
  32. "and fuck you" -- !!!!!!!

    PAH!

    Good GOD this site completes me.

    Welcome Professor Booty!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Is it possible that George was trying to show us some love, in the language we normally speak here? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Is it just me or is his blog totally different, with all of the popularity contest posts (and anything else since last August) gone???

    Damn. The fact that I even cared to look again and ask that question scares me.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm sorry if i offended a bunch of prudes...

    ReplyDelete
  36. Prudes? On a site that uses the Flaming Finger? Oh my god, I can't stop laughing!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Well....your forefathers were...right? its not like you guys are a bunch of Indians or Aborigines...You guys are "wannabes" so stick to the "royalty free" picture you have...

    ReplyDelete
  38. i like the reviewing you guys do and you guys really fucking tear blogs apart!
    but the funniest part over here is that the reviewers own some fucking dipshit blogs!!
    so fix your blogs first!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I think George took a hard left at Crazy Town.

    Oh, and can people just knock it off with the "well, your forefathers were prudes" argument? Jesus, get some new fucking material.

    Oh, and your blog sucks donkey balls, George.

    ReplyDelete
  40. its not like a tranny like you can write some so called "new material" anyway....

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh, and for someone who claims to like "Linkn Parks," you're awfully judgmental of American taste.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Go back to high school and leave the big kids alone, kiddo.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Was that a comeback or what !!!...tranny..you cock !!! i mean "rock". And its "Linkin Park" not "Linkin Parks"....

    ReplyDelete
  44. Whiny and has a small penis....wow, I bet the girls are just flocking to you.

    And, man, aren't you cool for knowing how to spell Linkin Park. All the kewl kidz listen to them, I suppose...

    ReplyDelete
  45. No shit, sherlock. You may want to spell check your own fucking profile, because that's where I got the spelling.

    Oh, and you're quite obsessed with my non-existent penis. Project, much?

    ReplyDelete
  46. George, don't you have some "endorsement!!!" to grovel for elsewhere? And, some foundation and eyeliner to apply? And some catwalks to walk? I can't believe a good-looking popular recent college graduate/web designer has nothing better to do than quibble all evening with blog reviewers. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Oh, wait. You are a web designer, never mind. I bet you really do have nothing better to do...

    ReplyDelete
  48. Well....size doesn't matter mate...its how you use it.

    And plus i think you need to get your eyes checked....Linkin Park not "Parks"...not matter how you wanna twist it.

    Well...Some one's really really pissed off....Its all the testosterone i guess. did you still manage to get an erection?

    ReplyDelete
  49. size doesn't matter

    The fallback position of men with undersized penises everywhere.

    As far as linkin park...they were really cool in the U.S. like 6-7 years ago.

    Wait, what the fuck am I thinking? Linkin Park was NEVER COOL, ANYWHERE.

    But it's cool that you are willing to out yourself as the dude with the worst taste in music of any blog we've ever reviewed. It's...brave. Sort of.

    But mostly, kind of sad.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I bet you love Nickelback, too, don't you, George. And Daughtry. I bet you could eat you up some Daughtry.

    *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  51. Is this like a tranny group where all of you join to maul other blogs? Its the hormones you know....its not late, you can fix it.

    ReplyDelete
  52. OK, fucktard, I'm going to explain this to you ONE MORE TIME. YOU spelled it "Linkin Parks" on your profile. I was making fun of you because you are a weird little man with sexual projection issues.

    God, why am I arguing with you. Go and apply some more hair gel to that massive cranium of yours.

    Better yet, do this world a favor and kill yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Wow "love bites" ....you know me well. I mean...seriously !!! that was awesome...how did u manage to know my taste in music? (seriously)

    ReplyDelete
  54. Is calling us "trannies" seriously the best insult game you've got? This is like beating up Corky from Life Goes On.

    You really should have stopped yourself at "fuck you." That at least left us with some ambiguous assessment of your intellect and/or sense of humor. Now, it's all too clear that not only can you not handle the truth, but you are humor impaird and afflicted with a crippling fear of trannies.

    It must suck to spend as much time on the catwalk as you appear to do...

    ReplyDelete
  55. Oooo...some ones pissed off...lol. Ok...Bitter Mistress person thing...

    ReplyDelete
  56. George,

    Your taste in music is sadly all-too predictable. You appear to have the same taste in music that you do in clothing and hair-styles:

    mass-regurgitated pap from marketers that have neither originality nor substance.

    ReplyDelete
  57. OK, are you seriously flirting with me? Cuz I can't tell if you're flirting or just retarded.

    ReplyDelete
  58. which, now that I think about it, basically describes your blog, as well.

    Ah, this has been fun. Nothing thrills me like delivering a verbal beating in a war of wits with an unarmed man. But, it's past my bedtime.

    ta.

    ReplyDelete
  59. "Love bites"....my music might suck but seriously i am wonderstruck.

    ReplyDelete
  60. i'm going with retarded, BM.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Wait.

    That's an insult to mentally challenged people everywhere.

    Let me deliver another assessment: brain dead.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I think linkin park killed George's brain.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Yeah, I'd continue, but I'm bored.

    Oh, and George should go back to church.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Lol !!! Flirt with you !!! haha...dont get the wrong signals tranny...

    ReplyDelete
  65. Good one, asshole. No wonder you're a model.

    ReplyDelete
  66. George...

    Was Right Said Fred a pivotal influence on your life?

    ReplyDelete
  67. Is that the only english insult you know? Cuz that's so 1997.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Oh...is it? Whats the word then? Shemale?
    Which one do you want? is there a name you want me called you?

    ReplyDelete
  69. 'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean
    And I do my little turn on the catwalk
    Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
    I shake my little tush on the catwalk...


    well, that's stuck in my head for the rest of the night.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Jesus loves you, George. Remember that.

    ReplyDelete
  71. haha..."love bites" you rock.

    and Tranny "Bitter Mistress" why dont you shag some hole? or is shag a big word for ya? like a 1970's word?

    ReplyDelete
  72. Sorry "love bites" the link is going somewhere else...

    ReplyDelete
  73. Wow....its the Estrogen kickin in i guess....I'll pray for you "Bitter Missy"

    ReplyDelete
  74. The power of Christ compels you!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Somehow I think this site has received validation by getting its first kook.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Congrats..you must be the first "cock" then...i mean "kook"

    ReplyDelete
  77. Ok Missy Bitty...why dont you give up and go back to sleep? You sound retarded.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I give up, it's like arguing with my 10 year old cousin. Or a coked out monkey. Excuse me a cocked out monkey.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Dont hang out out with kids...come on tranny....leave them alone. Dont be the next MJ.

    ReplyDelete
  80. The Professor is glad that he inspired such an intellectual debate about gender identity and corporate rock band. He's disappointed that he slumbered away while it was going on, because I really would have liked to say:

    George, you're a narcissistic fucktard with a shit blog. You've now demonstrated enough of a grasp of the language to earn yourself the exploding finger.

    Love Bites, I'm in awe of your power with wicked words. Mistress, thanks for those Right Said Fred lyrics, those will keep me laughing all day!

    ReplyDelete
  81. Ooo...i am scared Professor Ass-wipe...

    ReplyDelete
  82. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  83. George, do you sleep or just hover over your computer waiting for someone to insult you?

    ReplyDelete
  84. Hi
    I had submitted my blog for review but havent heard from you guys yet. have you received the request? is it yet to come?!

    ReplyDelete
  85. George, you have no idea how upsetting it is to be an insomniac and FINALLY get a good, solid, full night's sleep...ON THE VERY NIGHT that you decide to show-off the humour & wit that earned you your very deserving flaming finger.

    I don't know, George; if I'm you, I wouldn't be praising god as much as I'd be pissed-off at him, 'cause, dude, he really didn't give you a whole lot to work with, did he?

    ReplyDelete
  86. Professor, all glory to you. You managed, on your first review, to rake in 90 comments. You sir, are amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  87. To Professor Ass-wipe and Blow jobber,

    I am in Singapore and its in a different Time Zone from where you guys are from so i hope you get the picture....plus congrats prof. i was trying my best to make it 100 comments actually...but in due time it will...

    ReplyDelete
  88. I just noticed something. George's blog has almost no comments. None. Zip. Ok, so there were maybe 6. Tops. On the entire blog. For almost a year of blogging.

    That explains a lot. Obviously we aren't the only ones who don't care what George has to say. Aw. Tear.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Aww...look who's taking....What a Calamity? Afraid of revealing yourself? Never mind..it took at least 5? or 4? to come up with "ONE" blog !!! wow !!! Plus you invited me to read this "dip-shit" review. Come on guys....do you "invite" people to comment on your blogs???

    ReplyDelete
  90. Ah, I understand: different timezone = atrocious grammar.

    I COMPLETELY get the picture, George, if said picture is meant to convey boredom on scale heretofore unreachable by anything designed and/or implemented by mankind...that IS what you saying, right?

    Oh, George - this is kind of like playing basketball on an eight-foot net with a 10-year-old; most people wouldn't bother swatting shots and dominating, but I'm TOTALLY going for 50 on you.

    Christ, George, I'm already up 12-0...you're really gonna let me go for 50? In YOUR house? C'mon, man, where's the D?

    28 unanswered points now, George, and I'm beginning to suspect that you're not playing D so much as trying to figure out how to sneek a peak at my junk in the changeroom; how else to explain the excessive ass-grabbing that you call "defence"?

    Oops, no time to respond, George - 44, 46, 48...dude, there you go: 50 points, directly in your eye.

    Forget everything else, George: your defence (or lack thereof) is AWFUL. Wether you know anything about basketball or not, you've GOT to know that getting beat 50-0 means that you, like, TOTALLY suck...at everything.

    That's just how it works, George; don't fight it.

    ReplyDelete
  91. We invited you to read the review? You submitted your blog for review. You asked for it. We didn't just stumble upon your blog and say, "Gee! This guy's an idiot. Let's rip him apart." That's not how it works.

    As for allowing comments on our personal blogs (which I assume is what you meant). Yeah. Because that's a useful process. Allowing maligned bloggers we've reviewed to muck up our blogs with whiny, defensive pap. You've been commenting your little heart out here, and that should be enough for you.

    It took four or five of us to come up with a blog that you obviously liked enough to SUBMIT your own blog for our review. And now, now that you've been fairly reviewed, you want to complain about how useless and mean we are? Hah.

    ReplyDelete
  92. George, your idea of a "three-pointer" is three mangy whores for the price of two...ZING!

    ReplyDelete
  93. Blowjob listen up...play your so called basketball with the sissies you hang out with...

    Plus Calamity, i dint submit anything so why don't you stop bull fuckin around and get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Ok. No, seriously. Your blog was submitted. Unless you think someone submitted you as some sort of cruel prank (which, I'm pretty sure we can check our logs and get your submission info). Own up to it, dude; you asked for it.

    "Bull fucking"? Get over what? You make precisely no sense whatsoever.

    ReplyDelete
  95. I thought I WAS playing my "so-called" basketball with sissies; isn't that why you were grabbing my ass?

    ReplyDelete
  96. Calmty, i dnt submit noting, so stope yr bullfuckin arounmd and get over ones self!

    You poepl make me so madly!

    ReplyDelete
  97. We seriously need to review more mentally unstable bloggers. I love getting 101 comments in 24 hours.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Hey !!! Why don't you check over your logs then !!! I am not the one who submitted my site to you sissies and ass-wipes....This definitely is a prank....

    ReplyDelete
  99. Your Name: *
    George

    Your e-mail address *
    george.kuruvila@gmail.com

    Name of Your Blog: *
    George is write

    Your Blog's URL: *
    http://www.georgeiswrite.com

    A Brief Description of My Blog: *
    George is write when you are wrong.

    I have read the blog submission disclaimer: *
    Yes.

    I am the owner of this blog.
    Yes

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sure sounds like you, George. So tell me, why would someone use your e-mail to submit your blog to us? Do your friends hate you that much?

    ReplyDelete
  100. Haha...sounds like me!!! now i know how you guys review blogs...

    All i can say is it is a prank. I am sure of it. Atleast you could have added a email validation to avoid these kinda stuff..

    ReplyDelete
  101. George, I'll be honest: it looks as though you only played the "I didn't submit" card once you started getting your ass handed to you on the comments.

    Even more honest? Whether you did it yourself or not, you're TERRIBLE at basketball.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Hey dude....look. Stop diverting the topic with you stoooopid basketball analagy. Why would i want you guys to review my site? You are a bunch of amatures...i need no review from you guys and thats why i was more pissed off. Looks as if you guys needed some attention and thats why you invited me to read your shit-ass review.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Dude, the basketball thing isn't EVEN an analogy - just flat-out absurdity for my own personal entertainment at your expense.

    Now YOU look: If I was you, and thank fuck I'm not, but if I WAS, I'd have made mention of the whole "I didn't submit" thing right off the bat instead of pussy-footing around and acting like a complete fuckwad.

    Try to reconcile the name of our site (it's that bit at the top that says 'ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE') with what you're saying; what sense would this site make if we stalked blogs and gave out pithy reviews to people who didn't want them?

    Gold star, George! It WOULDN'T make sense, would it?

    At this point, whether you originally submitted your site or not, you've proven yourself to such a complete douchebag that you deserve everything you get from us: Take your pity-party "I didn't do it" and shove it, like, FAR up your ass.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Hey Nut-crack !!! Are you kiddin me...? i can do this all day and bug the shit out of you...Get a life homo-fuck-face. Your retarded review make me wanna puke plus lets not forget the tranny friends of yours. You all can take up some "Save Your Ass 101" course 'coz you just got fucked so bad that you are even ashamed of even accepting your mistakenly reviewing my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Someones really obsessed with homos and trannys. I guess that Christian upbringing of yours is a little too oppressive. Let that rainbow flag fly, cocksucker! You'll feel better, I promise.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Sure thing Maximus Anonymous Retard more like "re-TURD" !!!

    ReplyDelete
  107. George is totally a bottom.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Bottom !!! My my...You English?? Fuckard....

    ReplyDelete
  109. Maybe I am, does that turn you on? Get ready big boy.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Well...there's a couple of reviewers (5 really really sick cunts)out there...you might have a chance with them...

    ReplyDelete
  111. I'm at a complete loss here, George, and I realize that I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt in terms of what I assume you're saying..."get a life homo-fuck-face" I get - you're a mental midget and quasi-homophobic cussing is the best you've got.

    Good stuff.

    What I DON'T understand (or, a small snippet of, at any rate), is how Boots' "retarded review" makes you want to "puke", and how that has anything to do with my "tranny" friends? Should I imagine you throwing up, but not let myself get so invested in your hurl that I'll forget my wonderful fellow reviewers? George, that just doesn't make any SENSE!

    Also, where, where, WHERE did you get that foolhardy idea that any one of us were ashamed, of anything, EVER? Dude, we give a fuck about you the same way a dog "worries" about the ground he just shat on: you're of no importance to me or anybody else on this site, and if you think you're bothering me by continuing to comment, well, sir...you have no idea how many synonyms I have for "dipshit", and I'm pretty sure a couple of 'em are getting dusty.

    ...I wouldn't mind shaking the dirt off 'em, y'know what I mean, George?

    So, let's have it, big boy: whatcha got?

    ReplyDelete
  112. Well Nut-craker you invited me...and i aint going back until its fixed. I dint ask it, you did....

    well....if you guys don't care...the 116 comments of you guys fighting shows a different story so why dont you fucking take back what what you have written...deal?? i mean delete it....seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  113. I'll invite you to my big gay parade, George. You can meat new friends!

    ReplyDelete
  114. Well, if you got the arse, we got the lube!

    ReplyDelete
  115. Keep it to yourself. Prof. Booty might need one. Well...his name says it all.

    ReplyDelete
  116. I've got a better idea than us deleting your review: why don't you set fire to your computer so you don't have to look at it anymore?

    Seems excessively destructive, doesn't it, George? What if, now follow along here, George, but WHAT IF there was some other way?

    Oh, dammit! I can't think of ANYTHING!

    ReplyDelete
  117. You could dunk your massive head in a bathtub full of water, couldn't you, George?

    ReplyDelete
  118. Ah, but then you'd still hear our voices in that crazy mind of yours, wouldn't you...right.

    I forgot that you were batshit crazy.

    Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  119. You are brain damaged nut-crack. Do as i told. Its not fair as you know. Play by rules you as you placed on the blog.

    There's room for improvement. Add an email validation and these kinda future incidents can be resolved. I know you guys are not blogging for cash. but I can help you.

    ReplyDelete
  120. I guess you COULD throw yourself off a high-rise balcony, George, but I wouldn't condone that; in fact, I would suggest that you DON'T do that, lest that monstrous-melon of yours kills an innocent bystander.

    There's gotta be SOMETHING you could do to not see our review anymore...

    Hmmm...that's a STUMPER.

    ReplyDelete
  121. What the fuck are you talking about? Do you speak English ? 'coz you sound constipated.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Y'know what, George? You might've garnered some sympathy were you not a complete fuckhole.

    As such, about the best I can offer you is a kleenex to help control your endless crying.

    Don't get too excited, though, George: these are VIRTUAL kleenex, and may not ACTUALLY help in the drying of tears...

    ReplyDelete
  123. By the way, did you bring that anonymous-cat to this late-night party?

    'Cause whoever that is is fucking hilarious...so, I guess that means there's no WAY you're involved in that, is there, George?

    ReplyDelete
  124. How bout a virtual "Sandpaper" 'coz you can use that on ur ass!!! and sad enough it wont help scraping the shit that you write...everyday!!!

    ReplyDelete
  125. No way...Maximus Anonymous is arse. He prefers Booty Prof.

    ReplyDelete
  126. You're right...that right there, boyo, is, quite possibly, the funniest thing ever written, in the history of mankind.

    Look, George, if we're going to actually TRY to have some sort of back-and-forth, it'd probably do you some good to keep up, okay?

    Plus, why is "sandpaper" in quotes? That, like much else you've written, George, doesn't make a lick of sense.

    ReplyDelete
  127. No....nut craker....i am just acting like you.

    ReplyDelete
  128. C'mon, man, pick up the pace!

    Keep up, George!

    ReplyDelete
  129. Let's go, big man! Where's the comment? Fasterfasterfaster....

    ReplyDelete
  130. I knew you couldn't hold your booze, George.

    Remember: sleep on your side; if you sleep on your back you'll choke on your vomit like Jimi Hendrix did.

    ReplyDelete
  131. What are we talking about crack-head ??

    ReplyDelete
  132. I can NOT believe that George is back! I had to stay away from this site whilst at work yesterday because I knew it would be a distraction. Well, I don't think I can do that today.

    The fact that George is such an attention seeker is pretty strong evidence that he submitted his own site. BUT, to his credit. If I were surfing around and saw George's site - the worst on the interweb - I might submit it for a laugh as well.

    My favorite: "so why dont you fucking take back what what you have written...deal?? i mean delete it....seriously. "

    What should I do then, Georgie Porgie? Apologize and promise never to do it again? It's not like you have any fans that are devastated by our review. In fact, I suspect that your traffic has doubled since this started. Which is why you're sweating - sleepless & drunk - over your computer right now. Just. waiting. for. me . to. press. SUBMIT!

    ReplyDelete
  133. Well...Prof. Ass-wipe, your website increased in visitors too. Dint you notice that. I may not have fans or followers as such but i have the right to protect what is mine. Since you did not follow the rules of your own site as you claim....i want you to delete it.

    ReplyDelete
  134. What are you going to do if I don't, George? Hurl more poorly constructed homophobic epithets at me?

    ReplyDelete
  135. George, I thought I would check in to your assertion that we're getting more traffic as a result of our review of your site. And its TRUE - we've had a spike in hits from Singapore. The thing is, they are all from one IP address - from a fellow with a computer in his Mom's basement. This person's favorite searches are for "hot tranny sex", "big black cock" and "hot dude in Linkin Park". Is that you George?

    ReplyDelete
  136. Well....you analytics are all messed up. If you had the info until the IP's level, you would atleast have an email validation. Come on !!! You and internet??? naah!!! You barely know how to type....

    ReplyDelete
  137. I typed a review of your crappy site that has kept you up for 48 hours abusing me and my colleagues. That's pretty good typing I think?

    ReplyDelete
  138. Wow, crazy stalkers are fun. I especially like the fact that he's like 10,000 miles away, doesn't know who we actually are, doesn't know where our real blogs are, and possibly has the smallest penis on the planet.

    George, tell the truth, you were waiting with bated (or in this case, baited) breath for this review to be posted. You have been checking this site franticly for weeks hoping to see it. You were so sure your review would match your own image of yourself.

    That's why you were one of the first commenters on this site.

    We all know this. And we're laughing our asses off at your frantic attempts to pretend, now, that it wasn't you.

    We're not deleting shit.

    ReplyDelete
  139. But we are going to continue to mock you because I think I speak for the group when I say schadenfreude amuses us.

    ReplyDelete
  140. That's a really big word. Why don't you go look it up now. Maybe it will make your brain grow, though I'd say there is little hope for your penis.

    ReplyDelete
  141. I saw visitors from your blog visiting mine quite some time back thats when i started to check on this blog. i aint kiddin you can say all you want but this is the truth.

    ReplyDelete
  142. George,

    You wouldn't recognize the truth if it punched you in your horse-teeth.

    Now, run along and play.

    ReplyDelete
  143. I can't wait to read about George in the international news: "Man With Gigantic Noggin Goes Batshit-Crazy On The Streets of Singapore; Police Are Baffled As To the Neck-Strength Needed To Keep Monster-Head Upright".

    ReplyDelete
  144. You know what I would worry about if I were George? Someone does a google of his name and finds all of his crazy ass comments here....

    You can kiss that Indonesia title goodbye, Mr. Crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Maybe he's going for the "Mr. CRAZY Indonesian" crown?

    Fucking hands down, if that's the case.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Indonesia??? Google??? you guys dint make it to google so it ok...not enuf traffic i guess. Well....Love-bites person thingy...i aint into masochism.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Are you typing with your elbows, George?

    ReplyDelete
  148. You got that right....Blow Jobber !!!

    ReplyDelete
  149. What?

    George, tell me honestly: you have to replace the exclamation-mark button on your computer frequently, don't you?

    Sorry: that should have read, "don't you?????????"

    ReplyDelete
  150. Wow!!! You are right !!!! Nutcracker !!!

    ReplyDelete
  151. Hmmm...it's seems as though you might have actually lost your marbles there, George.

    I guess all that talk of you being crazy has more than a kernel of truth to it?

    So sad...your poor keypad; what it must think of you!

    Again, sorry: "you!!!!!!!!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  152. Over-usage of punctuation-marks: zero-to-crazy in two seconds.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Well....Nutcracker....keep writing shitty reviews !!! and keep inviting the owners to read 'em !!! and keep stumbling to find your next bait !!!

    Happy fingering !!!

    ReplyDelete
  154. Say what you will about our resident kook, George. He's batshit crazy. He's in love with himself (possibly because no one else will). He likes to finger bang his exclamation point. But George? He does not give up. He's like a tick. Or a really bad fungus.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Hey Calm-Titty!!! Same old shit...new stuff please...

    ReplyDelete
  156. "Stumbling to find my next bait"?

    Um, okay. I'd go do that, I guess, if I had any idea what the fuck that means.

    I'm willing to bet that YOU don't even know what it means, do you, George?

    ReplyDelete
  157. Maybe I'm clumsily fishing?

    ReplyDelete
  158. Are you Africe Nutcracker??? Not familiar with Stumble Upon? Shame on you....go fuck a tree!!!

    ReplyDelete
  159. Why do I get the feeling that, any minute now, George is going to devolve even further and start calling us "doodie heads" and stamping his feet in fury?

    Jubblies, if you're going to fish, at least do it gracefully.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Holy lord, someone get George some thorazine. STAT!

    ReplyDelete
  161. Calm-titty !!! i am gonna bug the shit out of you guys. So how are the stats now? Will this beat CNN.com?

    ReplyDelete
  162. I don't THINK I'm "africe", George...though, having no clue as to what you're saying means that I might well be "africe" and not even know it!

    But, no, you're absolutely right to call shame on me for not immediately recognizing that you were referencing an actual site, and not just putting random words together to see if they, somehow, could make a cohesive sentence.

    Jesus, George, I guess that monster-head of yours is all bone, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  163. Yeah, we do it for the stats. Because one douchebag desperately hitting refresh every second in Indonesia makes all the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Calamity, I'm so graceful I fish in ballet-shoes.

    Well, that's also because I'm a sissy...

    ReplyDelete
  165. George is like a masochistic energizer bunny. I love it.

    George, will you be our personal punching bag with a big head? I need someone like you to take the edge off some days.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Calm-titty....come on!!! not Indonesia...its Micronesia. Your stats are messed up.

    Nutcracker you got it wrong man. You stumbled on my site and reviewed. Loser...

    ReplyDelete
  167. Eh, you seen one nesia, you seen 'em all.

    Are you sure it's not AMnesia, though?

    ReplyDelete
  168. Also, I thought "micro" was a reference to your miniature penis...

    ReplyDelete
  169. Love-bites....thats our neighboring state.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Well...its not the size,its how you use it.

    ReplyDelete
  171. YOU'RE a doodie-head, George!

    I'm a big, BIG fan of solipsism, George, but to cling to the idea that we trolled the internet looking for some jerkoff with a moster-head from Indonesia is lunacy.

    What's it like in Indonesia, anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  172. BlowJobber man!!! we missed you. In Micronesia its pretty much like your place.

    ReplyDelete
  173. "its not the size, its how you use it."

    That is a remarkably similar comment to one left earlier...

    "well...size doesnt matter, mate...its how you use it"

    Uh oh, George: you're running out of material, aren't you?

    It's no fun to "bug the shit out of us" if you're just going rehash your material, George.

    Tsk, tsk.

    ReplyDelete
  174. I don't give a fuck about MICROnesia, George - what's INDOnesia like?

    ReplyDelete
  175. Micronesia is the same as you place. Whats Indonesia?

    ReplyDelete
  176. That's what I'm asking you! What's it LIKE, George?

    ReplyDelete
  177. tastes like your wife's pussy nutjobber!

    ReplyDelete
  178. Indonesia tastes like my wife's pussy?

    That sounds TANTALIZING!

    So, what, is it the dirt, or the road, or, like, the water that tastes like my wife's pussy? I mean, how would one "taste" Indonesia?

    ReplyDelete
  179. Guys who think size doesn't matter generally don't have much size.

    I don't give a damn about the other nesias, I want to know how Amnesia is. And, we all know George lives there.

    ReplyDelete
  180. You have a wife, Jobber?

    Bitch, when the hell did you get married?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Oh, I don't have a wife, dear Bites...which is why it's so fascinating that Idonesia tastes like said "wife's" pussy.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Next up:

    "YOU'RE Indonesia!"

    "No, YOU ARE!"

    "No, YOU!"

    Christ all-fucking-mighty.

    ReplyDelete
  183. oooh you dont have a wife!!
    whateve..i just commented for time pass!
    by the way im not george...leave the chap.
    my name is jacob

    ReplyDelete
  184. Hey, howzit going anyway, Bites?

    I've spent so little time talking to you guys - I've had this big ol' fly that, no matter how many times I swat him, he keeps coming back...though, of course, mangled to shit.

    ReplyDelete
  185. George has been awake for something like 60 hours doing this. He's starting to become even less coherent than when he started. George, get some sleep, it will be OK.

    ReplyDelete
  186. "Leave the chap"?

    How is it possible that the people seemingly coming to George's defense are MORE inane than George himself?

    God, it must be a hoot & a holler in Indonesia!

    ReplyDelete
  187. I'm almost wondering, Boots, whether or not we should call the authorities in Indonesia - judging by George's typing-skills, he might be wandering the streets already, texting this to us and frightening school-children with that fucking monolithic cranium.

    ReplyDelete
  188. Now, I'm not a Professor of geography. But the way I understand it, Micronesia is a shit hole that dreams of being like Indonesia - and is home to a race of giant-headed morons.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.