Monday, April 14, 2008

If You're Going To Fucking Swear, Do It Already


Hold on; I’ll even it out:

Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucky fuckeroo.

There - no more "%$&#" or "F***", just a good, old fashioned fuck-sandwich to start the day off right. I’ll tell you, too, that fuck? Well, this guy at Xbox4NappyRash knows what I’m talking about...

Let it be said up front that I fucking love this guy. LOVE him. Can’t get enough. I read his blog back to front not because I’m supposed to review it, nor even because I wanted to - I had to finish it once I started: Mr. Nappy Rash and his +1 are trying to start a family, but, in his own words, he’s "currently stuck at faulty sperm junction", which sounds like a revolting place to visit, but still probably better for the tourists than "healthy sperm junction"...methinks the former is a lot less messy than the latter.

I want to say that I love me some dry, British humour (‘cause I do), but seeing as how the guy’s from Ireland, I have it stuck in my brain that calling an Irishman English is like calling an Australian an Asshole, so I’ll just say that the guy’s funny. Really funny, in fact:

"To be successful in this month we need to go to the chemist and buy a miracle. As that’s what it would most likely take. Unfortunately here in Holland the chemists are never open when you need them and besides, miracles are illegal here."

Not a hearty enough example? Well, luckily for you there’s the epic Sperm Runner series, wherein our intrepid author takes us through two harrowing attempts at getting his sample to the microbiology-department without succumbing to the embarrassment of stifled-laughs and sideways-glances.

Could it stand to be a little sleeker? Mm-hmm. Could I do without the cluttered-sidebar or the occasional goddamned meme? You bet your ass. Did any of that matter as I combed through the archives until I was too tired to write this review last night? Aside from leapfrogging a couple of those aforementioned memes, I was stunned to find that I had gone through the stash without even realizing it, voraciously eating-up every last morsel of Nappy-goodness.

Astonishingly candid, self-deprecatingly hilarious, enthralling; I want this guy to succeed, to conceive...he makes "I do love ya, you daft cow" sound so sweet that I’ve got fucking cavities over here.



Fight the good fight, sir, and luck be with you!

Next week: back to our regularly-scheduled venom...

28 comments:

  1. I'm really glad this blog got a good review because I loved it, too. I like when I agree with you guys. I feel almost smart! Almost.

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  2. Psht, angel. Your smartness is a given. You read and comment here regularly thus, you are smart as fuck.

    (said in a teasing tone of voice lest the humorless anonymous fuckwits get their little girl panties in an untangleable knot...AGAIN)

    Jobber: Love this blog. LOVE IT.

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  3. I wanted to call this guy when I was done reading, just to get some updates:

    "What's happening NOW, man?"

    "[yawn] Wha...?"

    "What's HAPPENING?"

    "Nothing, uh, I don't think."

    "Oh...what about NOW?"

    "Who is this?"

    [dial tone]

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  4. Considering I have actually seen a real live vagina today, (ok it was the same one I've been looking at for over ten years AND it was in stirrups) this has made my f*&^ing day.

    trying my hardest not to sound like Bono, but thanks for the review, and more importantly thanks for actually reading it, that's what it's all about.

    ...and...I can comment now...

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  5. Heh. Loved this blog. But Jobber..if Nappy Rash and his sig. other actually do concieve..does the blog stay put...or does it become a, er, Daddy-Blog?

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  6. Love bites, you nailed it! Anonymous comments piss me off. Total fuckwits. Why be a smartass or climb onto your high horse if you aren't going to take credit for it? I don't understand the waste of energy.

    Nutjobber, if you talk to the guy let us know what's going on. I'd call him and ask him, but I'd much rather you look like the psycho.

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  7. Don't mind me, I'm just reading this over again...

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  8. I didn't like this blog quite as much as some of you, probably for the same reason some of you didn't like last week's eating disorder blog... brought back some touchy memories. But that said, I did enjoy his humor and writing. And I know too well that you HAVE to keep your sense of humor when going through what he's going through.

    As for the anonymous comments... I suspect some are people who have submitted their blogs and who don't want to color their own review. Of course, some are just fuckwits.

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  9. Dude, I'M reading it over again; the whole thing doesn't sound right, me being nice and all, but, as they say in Iraq, "c'est la vie"...

    They speak spanish in Iraq, don't they?

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  10. Lara writes:

    I suspect some are people who have submitted their blogs and who don't want to color their own review.

    Ah. Dickless fuckwits, then. Nice to know.

    Xbox: Hope it helps you find your happy place where you can manufacture lots of good sperm who are strong swimmers.

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  11. Wow, it IS good. Really good. One post in and I was totally invested in the guy's saga -- that's a sign of a great blog.

    Thanks for this.

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  12. He had me at, "Never miss a squirt."

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  13. I love this blog; he has been on my list almost from day one. Glad he got a good review.

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  14. At least one good thing is going XBox's way.

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  15. Yay Yay Yay!! I'm so happy that you love him, I love him too!!!

    And plus, he gives me all the credit because he found you all through me. Huzzah!

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  16. That's just fucking beautiful. I've got a tear in my eye.

    You just want to cheer from the sidelines "Go Spencer, Go"

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  17. Glad that he got this seal of love. I've been a huge fan for a while. Spencer's just gotta make it, because someone this hilarious has GOT to have progeny.

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  18. You got a good one this week! Site looks good, he writes wonderfully and he's got a compelling story line. Great stuff. Shame they're not all that good this week.

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  19. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice foreshadowing, Professor.

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  20. Nope, I didn't post my opinions when the four "on deck" were listed.
    I am so thrilled to see the "Bananarang" banner up there, by the way.

    But I did go check the prospective slaughter-victims right away.

    I really loved this blog and put it in my IE Favorites already.
    And if it becomes a DaddyBlog I'll still read it daily - I've a feeling he'll DaddyBlog as good as Nitro Vista.

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  21. for the record, I fucking love you all now big time.

    cool critique comments and sappy supportive ones alike.

    I'm way too chuffed at this for it to be healthy...

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  22. I can't think of a decent comment at the moment except to say "Fucking Spot on!!!"

    Woo-fucking-Hoo!!!

    cheers kim

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  23. Love it. Love him. 'Nuff said.

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  24. I love that guy too, read his stuff everyday. We had the same troubles so I can really relate to what he's going thru.

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  25. I read every day too. He's got some balls (speshal balls actually!) for writing about what must be a difficult subject for him and ET.

    I'm in the 'Spencer is #1' fanclub!

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  26. He's not just funny.... he's fucking brilliant!

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  27. I can't help but keep up with good ole Nappy and Spencer. They have been on my blogroll for ages. His thoughts always lead me on an emotional roller coaster which is the talent of any great writer.

    Any conception that may follow will be celebrated by more than just the two of them. Even if it doesn't occur, the honest display of emotion and information about this process I am sure has certainly helped many.

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  28. I completely agree! Once I started reading X's blog I couldnt stop! He is a fantastic writer, and as you said he is really funny.

    I heart him.

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Grow a pair.