Friday, May 30, 2008

A picture paints a thousand words so STFU

Words and Stuff should be some kind of nominee for worst blog name of the year. That was the best you could do? Yeah, Matt, you're not so good with the words and stuff.

But, give Matt a camera, and damn. I mean, seriously, DAMN.

I'm not a huge fan of photobloggers, and I'm not sure that I would link this blog. BUT, having said that, his photography is WONDERFUL.

He has used a simple black basic layout, but I think that it could be revved up or tightened up with something like this, this, this or this.

The writing is another story. One post, formatted as a letter to his grandma, is a political rant. Meh. If you REALLY write letters like this to your grandma, your family is even more strange and fucked up than mine is, and that's saying a goddamn lot. Nothing better than getting a three-paragraph political lecture from your grandkid. If my grandkids do this to me at some point in my life, they're going to be receiving a box of dog turds in their mailbox as a rebuttal.

Another post ponders the order of colors in a news article. Are you fucking kidding me? A post about the colors in your underwear drawer, and boxers versus briefs would have been more entertaining. And, your critique of Riley Tuff? Dude...you claiming that ANYONE can't tell a story properly is rich in irony because you are a wordy, boring fuck.

Who would read this shit you write? You are still stuck in journalism school, and I bet you haven't improved a bit since leaving. God damn. I'm flabbergasted, to tell you the truth. You may love words, but you do not know how to use them. It's a fucking crime against the dictionary.

From looking at your comments, NO ONE is reading. I bet it's because you put your initial readers into a brain dead state within seconds. Dude...if you're going to navel gaze or poli-rant, you can't kill off your readers with teh boring. They aren't self-replicating.

Your posts are THE WORST I'VE EVER SEEN. And that is seriously saying something. I'd read about an entitled Indian princess wannabe mommyblogger's drippy diseased vagina before I'd read this shit. Your posts are boring, pretentious, self-absorbed, and awful. I will admit that at least you know how to place a comma and use proper grammar. But, your posts ain't writing. They're a drug-free replacement for lunesta.

I guarantee that you are under 25. For god's sake, is this "Pompous Self-obsessed Bloggers Under 25" week or something? And no one told me. For shame. I'd have bought you and Drizitche a new set of razors or something to celebrate.

I give the photos:


They're gorgeous.

I give the writing:
and

Usually, we tell bloggers to write more, edit themselves, and hone their art. You? Please just shut the fuck up and look pretty. The good thing is: men your age do this very well. Just don't open your mouth. I can almost guarantee that following this advice will help your dating life. Which, might actually give you something to write about. Sadly, though, I bet you can put people into a coma describing sex.

21 comments:

  1. Yea, I'm not a fiction writer. I don't know who decided my blog needed to be reviewed, but I would probably say the same things about my blog as you did. No one reads it because I rarely ask anyone to.

    But, the letter to my Grandmother was actually a letter to her that she enjoyed.

    Glad you liked the pictures, at least!

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  2. Another non-submitter?

    Somebody's being a fuckhole again...

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  3. Christ on a crutch. It's anonymous submission run amok!

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  4. No worries. You've inspired me to go back to posting more news-based content like I used to. You're right - who the fuck would want to read my incoherent ramblings? Not even me.

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  5. It feels good to help people, it really does.

    Well, not ME, specifically, but I feel Bites' pride vicariously.

    Obviously.

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  6. Holy crap! Who is randomly submitting blogs?

    What the damn hell?


    Also, the photos were lovely. And Molsen appears to not be an unwashed anus and good natured and whatnot. So. There's that.

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  7. I submitted this blog. I put my name in the submission and I asked Matt before I submitted.
    I think he has great photos as well and I thought you would like them and you did.

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  8. This is the response I got when I asked to submit Matt's blog.
    Re: Your Blog
    If you'd like to submit it, I'd be happy to have your support! I appreciate the kind words and the offer...you may submit it.

    -Matt

    I like this blog.

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  9. Oh!!! THIS was the thing you were talking about, Barry? I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it. Yes, Barry had my permission, sorry.

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  10. My question, Molsen, is why do you feel like you HAVE to say anything at all? I mean, yes, blogs that actually have something to say tend to get more traffic, I guess, but Love Bites is right. Your talent is in your photography.

    Why not go for a photography blog and merely write about your adventures with getting some of those shots. They're amazing.

    I admit, I'm not a huge fan of picture blogs, but there are a few that I will visit because they contain damn good photos. Yours would be one of them.

    But not if you turn it into a news blog. I hate news blogs.

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  11. No, I don't suppose I have to say anything. I write news for a major daily newspaper and its Web site, so I'm not sure why I'm compelled to put low-quality ramblings on the Web too. Maybe I will stick to photos, we'll see.

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  12. Matt:

    I really like what you've done already. Your photos are AMAZING.

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  14. Not to sound too shallow but if someone told me to shut the fuck up and sit there looking pretty I'd be immensely flattered.

    Yeah, it might be time to leave Los Angeles.

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  15. It's been a mad week, innit?

    I'm a little meh about his images as well if I'm being honest. But what the fuck do I know?

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  16. Sassy hops up and down in her set with her hand up

    "oh! I got you oozing vagina post right here! http://thaliaschild.blogspot.com/2008/02/nursing-nightmares-worst-std-ever.html
    "

    is it too late for extra credit?

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. Ok, can you delete my other comments so I don't look like such a dumbass. this one should work. If I don't, well, just delete them all I guess.

    oozing vagina

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.