Thursday, May 29, 2008

Fantasy Review

Last week I was forced to kick fuzzy bunny butt. It wasn't fun. OK, it was a little fun. But I was not looking forward to trashing another poor mommy blog this week.

Imagine my relief when my assignment took me to Prefers Her Fantasy Life. I read FM's (Fantasy Mom) tag line, “I used to care, but now I take a pill for that." Love it. I can so relate. FM's banner took me right back to my childhood, because I had that Cher doll as a kid. I cut all of her hair off, my doll looked more like Sonny than Cher. She and my Bionic Woman doll shared my bed for years. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Her side bar has ads, which I hate. She also has a lot of useless widgets that really could go, but they didn't bother me - much. That's because my eye caught the sweet jewelry that she makes. My review could have been bought for the little blue bracelet that she crafted, but that's the price that we pay for being anonymous - upcoming victims don’t know where to send the payoff money. Bummer.

I forgot about the somewhat ugly sidebar once I started reading her stuff, I laughed my well-padded butt off at her bit about leaving food in the car. I once left two chickens and a gallon of milk in the trunk for two days in July. I nearly had to junk the car. I kept reading and at one point, had to have my husband come listen to the song about how a man’s gonna lie to his kids about doing drugs and having premarital sex. See, I am not even off the front page and I am already laughing and wanting to share her stuff.

Her photo of the beer bottles beats to death the endless parade of adorable kiddie photos that we typically see on mommy blogs. Kids are cute, but beer bottles on a mommy blog just makes a statement.

It was startling and a little unnerving to see her Danny Bonaduce photo, which looked like someone photoshopped Alfred E. Neuman's head on Arnold Schwarzenegger's body. It’s just unexpected, and isn’t that what makes it worth the second look?

This blogger is new, only a couple of months out, but I think she has promise. Here are my recommendations:
  1. Move the archives up on your sidebar, people want to read deeper and this is your only way for them to get to it. Change your archives to a drop down format.

  2. I love your writing, but you sometimes roll on a bit much. Before you publish, read it over and see if there's anything you can trim. Less can be more.

  3. I would lose the ads or at least keep them under control. Cutting grass or taking in laundry are better ways to make a buck.

  4. Move that jewelry widget up and move the other stuff way down.
  5. There are too many posts on the front page, you could limit that to four or five, max.

I can say that there’s a reason that this blogger is ranking on the humor blog lists. I like her, in fact, if she got rid of the ads I might love her, but as it is, she gets:

Mutha doesn't click with everyone, Rubber Duckies. Personally, I like to stumble around the web, and when I find myself in a bad, ugly or just plain boring blog, the red X is my friend. If I am reviewing your blog at the time, every blinky, crappy widget that you have is going to get my fingers flying on the keyboard as I spew out my venom. It's up to you, but if you're in the crosshairs queue for the Mutha, I suggest you start cleaning out your drawers, I won't be this nice all the time.


  1. Anyone who's a Jeff Tweedy fan gets points from the Professor. I could do without the Danny Bonaduce photo. Hell, I could do without Danny Bonaduce full stop.

  2. Whatever happened to the advance victim list?

  3. That should get back to normal when I get out of the swamp I'm currently buried in at work, up to my ass in alligators.

  4. Speaking of which, where in the hell have you been, MC?

  5. Damn it, I likes me some Tweedy. This chick is one hip, hip lady.

  6. I like her too. Good review.

  7. Martha Washington was a hip, hip lady, too, man.

    The picture of Liam Neeson distracted me from the blog because I remembered the rumors about the size of his dong. But I'm sure the blog is nice, too.

  8. Yeah she was. Cash crop.

  9. I remembered the rumors about the size of his dong


    Also, how do you know this shit?

  10. You know who else I liked that never got much play was Velma from Scooby Doo.

  11. SRSLY! I love Velma. I always was the dowdy smart girl in high school.

    I bet that shocks y'all, doesn't it?

  12. Oh, Velma got play. You didn't think it was just a wee bit suspicious that she always got paired up with Daphne? What did you think went on?

  13. OMG, you did NOT just go there.

    You are ruining Cartoon Saturday for me.

  14. Gblxm!

    (pain-meds; clever has gone on vacation)

  15. Self doubt alert.

    I really didn't 'dig' any of that first time around.

    I'll come back drunk and confirm.

  16. Bites: Very much in a swamp of me own....only there's alligators and some weasels from Palo Alto...also, a fresk storm took out most of the telephone/electricty in the city, ergo connectivity was iffy..


Grow a pair.