If it's a piece of shit, you must convict

I’m suing Law and Motherhood for misrepresentation. There isn’t anything that I could find about the law in this blog, except a violation of the law of common sense. She posts under a pseudonym, but directly below her photo, she lists her real name, occupation and a few past jobs on her Linked In profile. Get rid of that, tout de suite. All this information, coupled with the photos of your little ones and your profession just screams, “I have money, please abduct my kids and here is a way to google a map to our house.” I was able to get your town and address in less than ten minutes and I am not even a stalker – OK, I’m a nice stalker. A little anonymity goes a long way when you are posting your kiddos on the web.

I like her banner; it’s interesting and novel. I thought we might get to hear some great dirt about what it’s like to be a mom and a lawyer. But I didn’t find any stories of day old coffee; the rush to prepare interrogatories at three AM to beat filing dates; no tidbits about run-ins with other jurists. Nada. Maybe she’s just respecting confidentiality, but man, that’s boring, don’t tease us. We want dirt.

When I scrolled downward, my eye caught the horrid, triple pane of death, which is her template. I am not a fan of triptych style blogs, they are visually confusing, unless it’s done well and this one just ain’t. She’s got more useless crap than I have in my kitchen junk drawer. Blog banners, ads out the wazoo (I counted twelve), awards, political statements, meme lists. Kill me now. Then she has a little congratulatory blurb on the bottom giving credit for the blog design. At least that tells us where NOT to shop for our site workup. Go look, then tell me if your head doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode.

The perpetrator writes mainly about her family life; some overlong, but cute haikus about barfing in the back seat, and a lot of information about attachment parenting. I love attachment parenting, but yawn. Slap me awake, Love Bites, you know how I love that!

Lawyer momma, pick a topic and stick with it. You jump all over the place. You grab me with a witty little bit about shelf paper, and then, you’re off topic in the same post about how tired you are and your kid’s tantrum. You had me and you lost me within seconds. Fighting with sticky shelf paper is just weird enough to be potentially interesting, but you blew it. You’re writing poorly organized letters home and frankly, there’s not much worth reading or reviewing here.

Now, there have been blogs that I have read, where I have just really clicked with the writers, their topics and have subscribed to right away and stayed for years. This wasn’t one of them. Apparently I am not alone; she only has one subscriber, which is probably her husband.

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