Lockdown in midtown

Firstly, forgive me if this looks like cat vomit but I've never driven one of these before.

Having taken one glance at this week's blog authored by a bald headed ex-con double terrier owner, I seriously thought someone was taking the piss out of the new guy. Declining the request to run to the hardware store for a glass hammer, I decided I'd better read through the blog at least.

There is no denying that it's ugly. Black backdrop, with white text, my eyeballs now feel like they were eaten and vomited up by his two dogs. Navigation is a hassle with an archive listed by week, hard to follow. At the time of writing there are twenty-one posts on the front page. Seriously, that's just ridiculous.

You don't strike me as the type of guy who is ever going to want to put too much effort into the appearance, so to make it easy I suggest you simply obliterate all of the above, the white on black, the dreadful archive navigation and the insane number of posts on the front page. Just do the opposite of everything, black on white, make it a monthly archive, preferably a roll-up one, and the opposite of 21 is exactly 4, or maybe 3 because you are quite wordy.

Now the important stuff, the content.

The author describes himself as:

"A full on walking contradiction and all around hot mess. My writing is concentrated on, but not limited to, prison, crime, personal opinion and insight."

The bizarre fucking thing is, that is exactly correct.

He loves to write, that is clear, and there's lots to read.

This guy is funny. There is dry and morbid humour in every single post, even when he is naughty and has to delete a post for some reason, he still made me chuckle. This is an acquired taste considering his general outlook on the world around him is a less than optimistic one.

He voices opinions that will tend to leave people penning hate mail or loving him.

He writes a lot about prison, an awful lot, but it's all interesting, reasonably well crafted, and always with the 'truth is stranger than fiction' humourous undertones. A really good prison for dummies series runs through the blog.

Noticeably, his observational commentary turns into a social one, more and more as the blog progresses, which may make no difference at all for someone with a vested interest, but for me somewhat out of touch with the politics of the area, it left me inclined to skip onwards. His tendency to repost his earlier entries suggests he may agree.

The one real bone I have to pick with the writing is that he only tells us what he wants to us read. There are no real highlights or lowlights, no signs of vulnerability nor claims of greatness. Even when he says he is baring all, it remains aloof, funny but never quite touching. There is little or no change in tone through any of the entries, each post is like an episode of law & order, entertaining in its own right, crafted to a good standard, but after a few you know where it's going.

It's good, a lot better than it looks, and a small bit of extra effort would make it much better. The appearance scares people away, believe me. I get the feeling you care far more about the content, which I admire and applaud, but spend one hour on the appearance and you'll reap the benefits of the extra readership you deserve, I promise.

I like this guy, he can write, he can turn a phrase, and a wry smile, and he has balls. I want to see him really angry, I want to see him really sad, but I fear I may have to steal his Yorkie's cardigan sweater to do so.

I'd sentence him to 3 three stars but 1 has to be suspended due to it being physically too painful to read, and the slight standoffishness.