Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Barring any unforeseeen disasters, this is the list of annihilation

First off, I have to apologize. Over the weekend, when I normally do this stuff, my town received 25 inches of rain during Tropical Storm Fay. My internet access, of course, went down (comcast can always be relied upon to let you down during both disasters of epic proportions and minor inconvenience). Here's the list:

Cat Scratch Diva: God, do I love anything more than a diva who only knows how to bitch? How could I possibly?

Nanny Goats in Panties, whose author notes: "This blog, which has evolved over time, is an attempt to put my humor writing out there. Recently, I've taken it a bit more seriously and spent more time on the writing and design aspects of it. "

The Tattooed Mama, who describes her web presence thusly: "a blog about shit that i think is tight. i own a web design business, husband is a tattoo artist, my daughter is just as sassy as i am. you know.. that sort of junk. currently participating in having sex every day for 101 days. i guess you can't really consider me the average mom blogger because i find that shit boring." Oh, goody. I love the girls who don't capitalize.

Queen of Her Own Universe. God, the pink. Makes it stop.

Jillie of the Valley, "A largly wrinkled account of an old lesbian widow stumbling into old age. Bite me. Love Yuns." Kiss, kiss. Why are all the lesbians so much cooler than the other girls?

Dear Baby Jesus, lying pink and wrinkled in his mama's arms, please save us from the overwhelming tide of estrogen this week.

28 comments:

  1. Awesome. My blog isn't pink and I'm not a Mommy blogger... however, the estrogen is ooozing over here.

    Thanks for the review and for not ripping me totally apart.

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  2. That's not the review, sweetie.

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  3. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

    I fucking LOVE it.

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  4. Doncha just know this is going to be a good week, Xie? I can feel that ass reaming tingle.

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  5. Is retarded a strong enough word?

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  6. Seriously, the first two comments here alone are the funniest things I'll read this week.

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  7. Actually, I hate using the term retarded in this context because it really is an insult to the mentally challenged.

    We need to coin a new phrase.

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  8. Do i smell a quote of the week, already? I might. ;)

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  9. I'm fully prepared for the ass reaming because my blog is boring but what I wasn't fully prepared for was the first two comments. Wow.

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  10. I am so happy right now. So happy.

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  11. Give her a break, will ya? The rest of the post didn't reference her in every sentence, so why should she bother wasting her time reading it?

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  12. I forgot. It's all about me, me, me, me, me-de-fucking me.

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  13. I'm sorry. How insensitive of me.

    Is in an insult to the inbred to all her obviously so?

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  14. I don't have much sympathy for the inbred, so you can call her that till the cows come home.

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  15. Oh no... that first comment makes me so sad...

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  16. It's made me giddy, I swear.

    I bet she falls over a lot.

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  17. You are like the kids who click together in high school. Making fun of other people, downing them so they feel like crap, just so you can walk around with a smile on your face and feel good about you.

    And you had the nerve to say anything about my lifestyle?

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  18. No, actually we were the ones who were drinking, smoking, singing karaoke and calling teenagers turds.

    But then we weren't teenagers anymore and stopped doing that.

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  19. Catscratch: I know you're in the throes of playing the tragic victim done wrong here, but take 2 seconds and try doing something new. THINK.

    Maybe we're evil and all. You could be right. Certainly, I have my evil tendencies. I'll own that I am evil down to the depths of my dark little soul.

    But still...what if we're right?

    What if your blog is a reflection of how you are presenting yourself, online and otherwise, and people who don't know you from adam have all come to the same conclusion: that it's low class and rather sad.

    Wouldn't you want to know so you might, I dunno, do something different?

    I know that self-awareness must be taken in small doses, but really. Just for two seconds, consider the possibility that what you are doing on the blogosphere makes you appear coarse and low class.

    We could be wrong, but then, again, we might be right.

    Consider it a message from the universe.

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  20. For what it's worth, I wasn't laughing at the review or the blog.

    The way you made an arse of yourself with your first comment and the subsequent tantrum is enough entertainment for me.

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  21. I'm so glad I clicked because this is even funnier than the actual review & related comments. It's an odd kind of cringing with glee.

    On a different note, I'm hoping to find out if my blog is on the list or not, since it was submitted more than four weeks ago.

    And of course that makes me so much stupider than Catscratch, after reading this review so soon after the chick with the "Ten Things I Hate About You" post.

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  22. I'll look for you pamela, and let you know. I think we have like 50 blogs in the queue right now. Can you believe that people line up for a reaming?

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  23. catscratch!

    You wouldn't approve my comment over on your blog so I have no choice but to vent it out here. For shame (on you for not standin' up like the baddass you wannabe!)

    "Melissa, have you conveniently dismissed the fact that everyone who they review has signed up to be reviewed knowing full and well that they may, or may not, have their fonts kicked wide apart?

    Your friend willingly submitted herself to a pack of wolves and thusly took a big chance on being torn down - maybe some of you should privately address the issue behind her needs.
    "

    Look honey, if you wanna be a baddass lemme give you 3 words you can count on to guide you down the path toward long lasting, true baddassim:

    Brutal Self-Examination

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  24. Holy shit this was the Funniest. Post. Ever. Thanks, catscratch, for giving me something to fucking laugh at all day at work. And to Xbox for coining a new term for retarded.

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  25. Oh, crap.
    No estrogen to be found on my blog. No real lesbiana, either. Nothing like setting up a bogus expectation......

    I'm up for a good ripping.

    Do me.

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Grow a pair.