106 is the number of the day.

Cool Blog Award! I wish I could concur.

This was a tough one. The author of Real Virtuality (RV) and I come from two very different cultures and although she speaks English fluently, some of her native phrases are foreign to me. Also, I make it a point not to judge poetry. This blog is roughly 85% poetry. Some poems are short and sweet and some go on for fucking ever.

Here's RV's header:

Threads Tangled untangled Composite run through Ravel, Unravel Is there a link? Weave a design And the thread itself not know Where in the picture Does it lie.

What the fuck does that mean to anyone, in any language? I know it's supposed to be 'angsty', but help me, Rhonda, help me get it out of my brain.

So, why is 106 the number of the day? Well, dear Reader, that's the number of scrolls it took to reach the bottom of RV. Do I need a superior mouse for these long-winded bloggers? Nah, she just needs to learn where the SHUT UP button is and put it to use once in a while.

RV has more embedded videos than Carter's has liver pills - I counted 21 on her front page. In fact, YouTube.com has only 16 videos. You win, but in this case, winning sucks. RV thrives on disjointed language. She has scads of nonsensical paragraphs which make our journey through her blog seem like we're lost in a psychopath's English garden maze and on every corner shrub, there's another goddamned embedded video.

Template? It's long, it's white. Flush it. It looks like a roll of toilet paper.

But what's she all about? Oh God, who knows? Blah, blah, blah, atheist, blah, blah, blah, feminist, blah, blah, blah another long ass poem. I can't spend all week trying to decipher her drawn-out posts. Maybe she thinks that if she just keeps on going, we'll like her more, not unlike a porn star on Viagra, who bangs his leading lady for hours. Come on babe, we've had enough. Get off already. There's not enough K-Y in the world for your length.

Here's my take on what would make your blog better:

• Shut the hell up. You write too much. You've bored the world to death already. Take what you think you want to say, divide it in half, divide it in half again, cut a tenth of the remainder off and publish that portion. Even so, that may be too much.
  
• Cut your front page back to FIVE or less posts. You currently have 31 posts on your front page. You've earned a special impromptu rating for your verbal diarrhea overflow:
• Date your posts. I hate that you only list the day of the week that you posted on. We track things by date, here on the planet Earth.
  
• Sidebar. Too much. Killing us.
  
• Stop mainlining You Tube. Your site already takes forfuckingever to load.
  
• If you want to capture your every thought, get a pen, write things down in a notebook and put them under your pillow. We do not need every single thought that flits across your neural net captured forever in bits and bytes. Pick a thought/feeling. Write about it for five minutes and then STOP. Less is more. Consider the Zen in that statement. Own it.
  

Short bus for you, my dear. Wear it proudly. Someone will be out soon to repossess your keyboard.