Review a Reviewer...

...it's almost too delicious in its incestuousness. Now, I read lots of foodie blogs, movie blogs, and pop culture blogs, but no book blogs. So, I entered Bitterly Books with an open heart and was immediately pissed off. First of all, the author had to pick the goddamn ugliest fucking template offered by Blogger. Seriously? I mean, all the templates suck pretty hard, but the shit brown template with only a little more pizazz than a well formed turd ranks far below the pink template of death. If you're going to take the time to read and review obscure books (not to mention including IBSN numbers), I think you can take an hour or two out of your busy schedule to search google for a free template with a book theme.

Furthermore, what's with all the fucking labels? The list is longer than a whale's dick and most of them only have one entry. That's just moronic on all levels. You might as well categorize them by the Dewey Decimal System for all the good that 30 plus, ultra-specific labels will do your readers. How about rolling up Kate Moss, Kat Von D, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Warren Buffet, Anjelina Jolie, et al into one category called "People of Note/Celebrities/Attention Whores, or whatever. Furthermore, is a label for "Dr. Benson Honeydew" really necessary? And who the fuck is he anyway? You'd be far better off with just a few descriptive categories, because really, and I'll be honest here, that mile long list is so fucking distracting I had to physically force my eyes over to the middle of the screen to read your reviews.

As for the content? Eh, it's little more than quoted lines of text with very little of the blogger's opinion. Thanks, but that's what Amazon is for. I feel like I'm reading some of my early English comp papers that were heavy on cited text to make the page quota. Add that to the ass ugly template, labels out the wazoo, and you get this steaming pile of boring. Take the effort you're expending by pulling quotes from the books you read and redirect it into forming an actual cohesive and elegant review and you'll be on to something.

I give it because all those labels make me want to set fire to the internet and there's just no fucking excuse for that template choice, which completely obfuscates a good blog idea.