Verbero*

You may not realize it, but I am a mommy-blogger. Oh, I don't blog about my kids that much, unless they say something pretty hilarious, but underneath all of my perceptions about life and other bloggers, I'm a mom.

And, putting my mommy hat squarely on my head, I will tell you up front: today's blogger needs a spanking.

Fortunately, I'm just the person for the job. And, no snickers from you, Calamity.

NeeNee is a blogger who apparently believes that her fuck ups can be fixed by writing about them. I am a great believer in the therapeutic nature of blogging, and I use my other, private blog for that purpose.

But, I will be the first to tell you: blogging is no replacement for real life. Blogging doesn't change the world, and it won't change you. You can't blog your way out of a broken marriage, or unemployment. And while it is non-fattening, it won't help you lose weight. It's one thing to write about what you would like to accomplish. I'm all for visualization as a strategy for change.

But, at some point, you have to actually lift your ass out from in front of the computer, and change whatever it is that you dislike about your life. If you want to lose weight, you have to get off the couch, stop eating so much, and exercise.

If you want a job, you have to get out there and pound the pavement, and at times, you have to be willing to settle for something that will just pay the bills so you don't dig yourself into a financial hole that you will never escape.

So basically, NeeNee, you are a girl who settles for writing about your problems, and thinking about your problems, but not SOLVING your problems. You live in the past, dwelling on an asshole who did you wrong. (not to mince words here) You're fucking an ex-boyfriend from high school who has no intention of having an actual relationship with you.

At what point do you think your life is going to get better if you don't do something about it besides write?

I have a few tips for you that have nothing at all to do with the layout of your blog (meh) or the style of your writing (also meh).

1. Get rid of EVERYTHING from Music Man. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. Every e-mail, every photo, every little residual piece of crap that you are still clinging to that is keeping you from moving forward in your life. It's over. It sucked. The End. I guarantee that he is not wrecking his life, sitting around moaning about you.

I had my own music man, having been around the track more than a few times, and it took me a good year to get over that relationship. I didn't make a lick of progress, though, until I stopped dwelling and mentally let go of the past.

NeeNee...your life is a wreck. You are unemployed, unhappy, overweight, and fucking your ex. You do not have time for this bullshit.

Life is short, and you're missing it.

2. Positive affirmations are great, though I prefer attainable ones.

Let's look at the situation clearly and objectively: you're massively in debt, and every day that you do not work, the hole gets deeper. Just get a damn job. It doesn't have to be THE. PERFECT. JOB. It just has to be a J-O-B that brings in some money so you stop going backwards, financially. Beyond the fact that you need the money, desperately, it is easier to GET a job when you are actually employed. Furthermore, you've already been rejected by one employer for your crappy credit. The only way to fix that shit is to work, earn a paycheck, and start paying down some of your debts. At this point, you are in so deep that I recommend that you work with a credit counseling service to renegotiate what you owe and get you started on a clean sheet. Being unemployed is depressing, and gives you way too much time to think about everything that is wrong. Going to work every day would at least give you something to do with your time, and a reason to get out of bed and get dressed.

3. Start taking care of yourself. You write that your weight is nearing 200 pounds. Wow, yet another thing to feel bad about. Today, not tomorrow or next week, TODAY, take a walk. Walk for at least 15 or 20 minutes. Tomorrow, do the same thing. Work up to 30 minutes a day, then up to an hour a day. Every day, you will feel slightly better. It will cost you nothing, and you will lose weight, guaranteed. I've been there, done that, as well.

You are 20-something years old. Do you think this shit is going to get easier if you wait?

4. Stop fucking your ex-boyfriend. Stop looking to sex with a man who doesn't love you to make you feel better about yourself. It will just leave you feeling worse.

In short, your blog describes your life, and your life looks like Hurricane Ike just swept through it, leaving catastrophe in his wake.

Time to grow up and fix it. You're the only one who can.

How do you fix it? You work on it, a little at a time, until it improves. At this point, you aren't doing that, and blogging about it isn't helping.

I give you

*A latin word, whose meaning you can google, if you're interested