I'm all out of stars.

Well, Damn. Too bad it's not real.

Here is a mommy blogger who shows photoshopped semi-nude pictures of herself and step-by-step alcoholic drink recipes. Sounds good so far, huh? She offers lots of gab about her life, more recipes, office tidbits, some photos of her dog. Go ahead and read it. I did. I read it until I got pissed off, because it was virtually identical to the last 20 blogs that I have seen coming out of the mommy blogger genre.

I think that the internet has replaced the girlfriend phone circle. When we were in school we could hang out on the phone all day and discuss our problems. Then we grew up and got jobs and families. Now, the only way to hear that supportive voice is to blog about our lives while we’re pretending to work. Comments left by complete strangers encourage and affirm our opinions. It passes the time. Readers get involved in inane blog fights and pass whole weeks away, madly typing nonsense into cyberspace.

Then, some gutsy blogger decides that her blog is pretty good and asks for a review. They want to know if they are as good as they think they are. Are they cutting edge? Do they sparkle? Can they can write a story that grabs our interest? We spend hours digging into their blog to see if we can strike gold. Sometimes it pans out, other times, it goes to shit.

There's nothing wrong with Linda's blog. It's fine. No ads, no major gaffes, no grammar problems. She has some good stories, some chuckles. She uses her spell checker and she's not annoying us with emo-talk. Fine. She's been working this 'okay' blog for about four months. Time for a shake-up, Linda.

Another boring blogger template.

I am convinced that the only way to help mediocre bloggers evolve into great bloggers is to step on their necks and press down until they stop moving. Therefore, I am done being nice. There’s nothing entertaining here. Invent something new or get out of my face. Do something with your template, dip into the fonts and colors and shake things up. There are millions of bloggers with the same boring template. Right now you fade into those lame-ass code-o-phobic anti-geeks. Is that where you want to be?

Have we had enough of mommy bloggers who just don't rate stars, getting them anyway? I am guilty. I have given out stars trying to find the gold in a merely acceptable blog. Not anymore.

I am not going to applaud and support so-so bloggers anymore. For God's sake, write something interesting or go back to work, already.

And, by the way, what does it take to get past Meh?

Entertain us. Be funny, be dramatic, be provocative, be a complete idiot. Be critical, be cutting edge or artsy. Be nasty, be paranoid, be something. Don't go for depressed though, we hate that. We're women. We know how to use the right side of our brain. You can be better than this.

Don't expect to get your blog stroked if it is mediocrity personified. Expect an ass kicking.

If you want a shiny star, write like you deserve one.

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This is my last review. Just trying to live life can so totally screw with our blogging, I have found. Thanks for the giggles folks, I am outta here.