Thursday, October 09, 2008

…was blind but now I see..

I’ve been having a crisis of sorts with these reviews, what’s the use of them? What do the blog authors really wish to gain from them? Do they do more harm than good?

All that philosophical shit.

Toss in wave after wave of mediocrity in the review queue and you are left with one seriously bored but blessed boy buggerer.

Then along came this weeks ‘blog’ for review. Never before have I been so inspired and reinvigorated to spit forth bile as I was after having looking at it.

The site is ‘Quotes in can’ and I’m not going to link to it, it’s not getting the traffic off me it doesn’t deserve. Google it if you really want to put more shekels in the author’s dirty pocket.

The site is stretched and covered in jingly jangly flashing shit, with a huge header created by some 12 year old.

A (lousy attempt at a) paid posting site of some sort, the author has ingeniously copied famous quotes from elsewhere and pasted them onto their pithy corner of the internet to pad out their own few miserable lines of moaning.

That’s all folks.

The posts are about as frequent as my thrush flare ups, and less desirable.

I needed this, I needed to see this pixelated scour in order to show me how to hate again.

Bloggers, heed this, get your heads out of your arses and take a look at why you submit.

The traffic you’ll get from here isn’t spectacular, but should you try to bluff us, the anal cavity expansion you’ll receive with a verbal rusty monkey wrench will make your eyes water, your granny’s ears bleed, and your respective deity burst into flame.

Clever, witty, sexy, funny, personal, or scathing are all I want to see. Any, or all of them, or at least a genuine attempt at one, will result in constructive feedback.

I’m going to go out on a limb and credit you people with some intelligence, you know what mediocre is, keep it the fuck away from me.

This week’s ‘blog’, doesn’t deserve flaming fingers, the site is nothing more than a cuntblister.

…and you can quote me on that.

23 comments:

  1. Cuntblister?

    Father, you are my hero.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ouch! Hurts so good!

    Get some penicillin up in this bitch.

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  3. The good Father just rained down some hellfire and damnation. And, he liked it.

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  4. The bitch is back. Cunt blister? Oh that's good. Great even.

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  5. The bitch is back. Cunt blister? Oh that's good. Great even.

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  6. God damn....a cuntblister. Holy hell, Father.

    People must like pain. Either that or they are a whole lot more people in the world like Catscratched than I´d like to think.

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  7. Ghost, can you help me with this one? Is a cunt blister anything like a crop circle?

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  8. You know I can, BB. The crop circles were a product of a moment of poor judgement. A cunt blister suggests repeated abuse, like a coathanger fetish or some poor technique.

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  9. Now that I have received clarification, I can without a doubt say:

    Fucking Disgusting!

    Ahem.

    I do suggest a good gyno. Should clear that right up, along with a good therapist.

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  10. I had to go to the site. I felt compelled.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone takes common knowledge, and twists and squeezes all rationality out of the thought process, just so it pertains to God.

    I can respect a subversive agenda, even a little proselytization, but who, within the confines of sanity, aspires to be Billy Graham? Other than Joel Osteen, and probably Sarah Palin?

    Fuck.

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  11. That being said, Father, you slay me.

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  12. Cuntblister....
    Lance it?
    *slice, squirt*
    [Note to self: Do not get stoned after a quart of vodka]

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  13. Okay... Google-ing.....
    GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!! THEY'RE BLEEDING!!!!!!!!!

    TOO MUCH CRAP!!!!!!!!

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  14. yes, i believe that´s what happened here. A cunt blister got effectively lanced. I wonder if there are any good quotes about lancing cunt blisters. Did Mark Twain or Winston Churchill ever have anything to say on the subject.

    Fucking cat quotes, kill me.

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  15. I believe it was Thoreau who said, "I stand in awe of my cunt blister."

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  16. That calls for a cigarette...

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  17. Oh My god, you guys are so jaded. Can you not appreciate the subtle wisdom of, "In life, be the chess playernot the chess piece"?

    Or "Beware of people who don't like cats"?

    This shit is pure gold you unfeeling bastards.

    I'll add to that,"In life, be the dick, not the dickey(fake turtleneck), or dickee(person being dicked).

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  18. North Koreans fucking LOVE cats don't they?

    Boiled with lemongrass and pickle mostly.

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  19. YES - now this is why we submit! So somebody can say the fucking unvarished truth. We all need that.

    I have no desire to visit the site in question. The thought of a cunt blister is chilling enough.

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  20. Never before have I eyed an exacto knife with such temptation. The short and relatively dull blade may prolong the procedure, but the longer the better.

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  21. You people are brutal.

    I love you.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.