I voted this morning, and now I feel like a dirty dirty whore, and not even in the good way. Nothing good is going to come of this election, I can feel it in my bones. This morning, it was like choosing between a crap sandwich, smothered in cum, and a barbecued turd, smothered in boogers with a side of earwax. Fuck me.Okay. This may be the shortest possible review in history, because I am not in a good mood, and I hate today's blog.
I'm going to do this in simple sentences, because I think that will be the best form of communication with this guy.
1. Your header image is awful. Please tell me you didn't pay for it.
2. I spent 20 minutes scrawling through your clip art, looking for something of worth, and couldn't find anything.
This isn't a blog. I have no idea why you submitted here, but this is lameness personified. If you have teenage children, let me state clearly and for the record, that they hope no one EVER finds your site. It's terrible. It's the worst possible unholy intersection of myspace with farq. And not the good parts of farq, either. The retarded bits. The people who like your blog are the same ones who decorate their houses at Walmart and wear sweaters on Halloween with cheery chubby pumpkins on them. They aren't us.
People: If you have a "blog" like this, please don't submit here. We aren't interested in what you're doing, and you are an anal wart on the ass of the blogosphere. We wish your blog would die a slow, painful death involving mutilation and torture.
Please fuck off and die.
Too blinky for me, this site makes me feel like I'm going to have seizure.
ReplyDeleteExactly FF! Like I said, it kicks up my coulrophobia and makes me want to track down and shoot a clown.
ReplyDeleteThat was a review full of 'quote's of the week'
ReplyDeleteI like this side of LB.
But he wants to be funny so bad. It's kind of cute, like when my dad showed me the Hampster Dance last week. He was so excited. He was all, "Look--look at the hamsters! They're DANCING! How cute is that? Do you recognize the song? IT'S THE ROBIN HOOD THEME! It's funny, right? What'll they think of next."
ReplyDeleteI just didn't have the heart to tell him that I saw it ten years ago, and didn't think it was very funny then.
But he was so excited.
That's how I feel about this blog.
Cum is tasty.
ReplyDeleteAlso what Rassles said.
"Cum is tasty."
ReplyDeleteIf you say so.
"I like cum."
ReplyDeleteShocker.
Now I have a confession:.
I don't.
Seriously fella, what's the story with those blue flashy faces?
ReplyDeleteHello all - Well you surely did fuckin tear me apart, just as promised. I feel like I'm in one of those bad movies about highschool girls.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to make it clear that the talented woman who helped me with the look of my site had nothing to do with the ugly header. (She's credited on my homepage.) She did the main column with the posts and animations (what Love Bites so bitingly refers to as my clipart). It was originally all black, the light blue is thanks to her Calamity, not me. And of course she bears no responsibility for the fluff content.
I did learn a fair bit here about keeping the sidebar uncluttered, rolling up the archives, limiting catagories, etc., thanks for that.
Guess that's it. Have at it.
Bill,
ReplyDeleteYou are VERY nice. And if people like what you're doing, well, then, gosh darn it, you just keep right on doing it. It is just SO. NOT. MY. THING. And, that's okay.
I seriously cannot wait for my review! woo!
ReplyDeleteFranco, the first thing you need to do is make that font bigger. If I get you for review, I won't even be able to read it without some type of surgical procedure or the onset of an unexpected superpower.
ReplyDeletelooks like he pulled the plug
ReplyDeleteNice to know that there's a pathetic following based on hate. Why is it that so many people lack a self identity that they feel as if they have to conform to the "wannabe" non conformists? Does making fun of someone or a group, make you feel that more significant? It is people like this that truly lack self worth.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on getting that fixed...
Hee hee hee.
ReplyDeleteThey are funny. They think that people who have a different opinion than their own are bad people.
More comments. Is good sticking up friends.
ASK crew: the best? When people hate opinions.
Wait. Ima gettin a thesaurus.
If...ah, fuck it. i'm bored and getting another bere and watching Ghost Adventures. That guy is funny.
LB, did you notice that Etta Rose(commentor above) also had her blog in the queue to be reviewed? Hers has been removed also.
ReplyDelete