Little Boxes on the Hillside

Do you ever have days where you want to do something, really you do, but you just can't make it work? Welcome to my Friday.

Vinyl Village, darlin', I love the concept and the name, but fuck me. I don't like your blog, I can't tell a lie. Your blog is Agrestic, without the chiva, and its bland sameness gets on my last goddamn nerve. Your blog is cheese grits without the cheese and salt. It's a hot dog without a bun, without a beer, without relish, without mustard, without chili, without cheese, without onions, just a sad little shriveled weiner lying there naked and cold on a plate. Your blog is Thanksgiving with an overcooked turkey breast and out of the box stuffing. HELP ME HELP YOU, man. I want to work with you, but fuck me, you've got to give me something.



Your content is mostly borrowed from other people, whether it's clipart from collegehumor.com, or quotes from other bloggers, or rehashing of news stories that I, for one, don't want to read about. Who exactly wants to hear about some dude who jizzes in pasta sauce? Why do you even have a blog, if this is all you want to say? The best I can figure, you fall into the category of "person who needs a blog because everyone else has one," just like the average Agrestic resident needs a tricked out SUV because all the neighbors have one.

The layout isn't horrible, in fact, it's appropriate to the title of the blog, but jeez, the content is beyond boring. You do need to clean up your sidebar, but that's the least of your concerns. For the record: I hate your lists. I hate your news coverage of men who have sex with pasta sauce. I hate your stupid douchebag humor. I hate your regurgitation of other bloggers' words.

Your lists are nothing more than filler..."Oh, goddamn, it's Tuesday already and I need to write something, so here's a bunch of shit in numerical form. Eat up!" Yum, yum, yum, muthafuckas.

I searched for a half hour on your blog to find something substantive, something that means something, something that isn't other people's regurgitated content. I couldn't find it. The best I could do was your "about me." C'mon, dude. You're cute. Why "the Vinyl Village"? Give us more. A naked shot might have improved your score, frankly, but soul-baring is way better.

Your blog is labeled more appropriately than you know. It's a ticky tacky little non-custom home built during the late 1990s, covered with vinyl siding in "sand buff," with beige carpeting and beige interior flat paint, settled amongst a million other beige homes that look exactly like it. It has no depth, it has no substance, it has nothing interesting about it.

Please. I know you can do better than this. If not, consider relocating your ticky tacky blog-dwelling to myspace with the rest of the abercrombie-wearing blog poseurs where it belongs.



And, since your blog has gotten this song stuck in my head, here it is in all its glory: