Friday, February 13, 2009

Blog Whoring

You know that we are the bloggers you love to hate. Please vote for us. Twice. Thanks to Sue Doe Nim for nominating us, as well. (damn her for going private)

115 comments:

  1. Apparently we're up for Best Blog About Blogging, too.

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  2. Which one do you think we should go for?

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  3. I plan on thoroughly enjoying this. How low will they go?

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  4. I voted already. For both.

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  5. True. I'll add the other link.

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  6. If you don't go for both I swear I'm going to track Miss Missives down on "new tights day", hump the shit out of her, and not offer a paper towel for clean up.
    Seriously, I hope you do both. This blog is amazing and I will vote, vote, vote for you.
    Plus, there's nothing like a twosome or threesome or whateverthefuck that would add up to.
    Oh, and I'm going to hump the shit out of you as well Rassles. But only when you are not holding an chain saw.

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  7. Can I get humped?

    Vote is cast.

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  8. True, I am a blog whore.
    I'm voting for both.
    ..
    and you can't vote twice under the same username.

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  9. Bluestreak! Of course I will hump you! Meet me at noon on the corner, and don't forget you will receive a more virulent humping if you call me your bitch and tell me dirty things about your dishwasher.

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  10. Mongoliangirl - We may have to bring in other appliances just to spice things up.

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  11. Smackdown bitch! I plan to speak in degrading terms about my washing machine and then cry a little about a blender I haven't been able to find since 1987. This is gonna be gooooood.

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  12. If you both wear gasmasks, no one will see you cry.

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  13. Sounds like someone just told us his fetish. Or like, one of them.

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  14. GoK, how did you know I cleared three aisles at Wal-Mart yesterday?
    Or are you talking about something else?

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  15. Shoot, Key has so many fetishes, I bet he has his own special aisle at the sex shop.

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  16. Rass: it's sortof a choking thing without the handprints to the neck. Save yourself.
    Mg: you need to seriously stop guzzling petroleum products. They don't make your throat any slicker.

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  17. Okay, so here is something funny. I wanted to do a little vote-whoring, so I posted a link on this forum I post at, and asked for votes, and here is what one of the prudy-pants had to say:

    I went to your blog. I think I need to take a shower now...

    Jeeze. People are so uptight these days.

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  18. WTF GoK? Keep up son. The only time petroleum is involved anymore is if I'm bent over while I'm fryin' up some chicken or in prep mode for deep throating a pineapple.
    Sheeesh!

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  19. LB: You've got to admit, there are times when an antibacterial wipe is necessary after visiting this place. No?
    That's why I keep a box right by my laptop anyway.

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  20. Mg: what do you do when you run out of pineapples?
    LB: really? Cold or Hot?

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  21. Only when key brings his nasty biscotti around...

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  22. You all sully me deeply, making my soul gritty with filth. And I love you for it.

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  23. Calamity, you were a dirty girl before you EVER met us. You just like having company in the gutter.

    As my daughter said to me the other day, "If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would have nowhere to go."

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  24. Hey, I never said you guys were the first to do it. Just that I loved it. Just because there was a layer of muck there before doesn't mean y'all haven't slathered it on good and proper and deeper and harder.

    Wait. The filth was getting to me a little. I need to pull back. Safe word? Biscotti!

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  25. Oh, by the way, I went to the bathroom just now and figured out why I was so edgy (as witnessed by the ranked post) earlier this week...And yes, I will have a biscotti.

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  26. Hey Cal, have fun dodging lightning bolts.

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  27. GoK: There is no end to the pineapple that wants my deep throated love.
    Calamity: Me no likey thinking of you as sullied. Gritty? Yes. Sulllied? No. Well, OK, both really.
    Somebody get me a fuckin' wipe already.

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  28. I knew the biscotti would catch on.

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  29. I´m surprised that there are people out there that don´t enjoy filth. I don´t buy it. Who doesn´t love the piss warm pools of the gutter?

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  30. Blue: the cleanup crew definitely doesn't like it.

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  31. Keep up people. Antibacterial wipes by the laptop! No further clean up needed.
    P.S. Bluestreak, please don't forget that one nicely shaped spatula. It's almost noon and I'm headed for the corner. Beeeeotch!

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  32. Uh, MG, trust me, a clean up crew would be required. Like FEMA.

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  33. I know people who can't even say the word "fucking". I think "How have you lived 3 decades and yet still feel the need to write "f-in" or "freaking?"

    I'm a dirty girl. I like it here.

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  34. Mongoliangirl, can I interest you in a spork? Spoon part for tender lovin and fork for gettin rough. Best of both worlds in terms of culinary sex toys, hands down.

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  35. Effing is good sometimes. Like when you want to say "that effing fuck face".

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  36. Has anyone noticed how lame our competition for most obnoxious blog is?

    Those people aren't even as close to the heroic level of obnoxiousness that we obtain DAILY. And, i include all y'all in that, of course.

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  37. Fucking amateurs. Baster, tongs, meat thermometer, steel wool. I worry about you broads sometimes.

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  38. But melon baller at least sounds dirty. I mean, it covers tits and dicks at the same time.

    Although I do enjoy a nice silpat.

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  39. I just ripped my mother fuckin' panties off with all of that mellon baller and spork talk. Especially the spork; versatile, loving yet rough, and disposable. Just like I liked everything with a dick that I met in my 20's.
    Uh, ok, actually from age 15-35. Whatever.

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  40. 117 votes for Perez Hilton? What the fuck? Maybe we need to get the garlic press away from our genitals and get to whoring.

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  41. Oh calm down GoK. Next thing you know you're going to try telling us FEMA tried to make you legally change your name to Katrina or something.
    Dirty boy!

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  42. Bluestreak: No shit. WTF? I've never even read that PerezHilton shit.
    AND...I just put a threat on my blog for anyone who doesn't hop to it and vote for Ask. Links and everything. I mean, only about 5 people read my blog, but whatevah. One nasty bitch has to help her other nasty bitches however she can.

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  43. Eh, I really fucking can't stand Perez Hilton.

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  44. Alright I whored that shit out.

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  45. Perez Hilton - I want to look but am not. I don't want to give her one tiny blip on her stat counter. Nobody, and I do mean NObody is better at being obnoxious than the bitches here.
    Well, maybe a bitter 40-year-old drag queen on meth, but that's another story entirely.

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  46. Mg: Perez Hilton is an overweight gay man that steals stories and pictures from other celebrity news sources, then draws penises on them. Pathetic. Oh, I smoked his tubby gay ass in the Hot Blogger comp.

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  47. GoK - Are you serious? WTF? I've got enough fat gay men drawing penises on things around here as it is without having to read that shit. One of them even calls Hellbilly (my hubz) his "straight husband".

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  48. Mongolian Girl- Get off my leg please, you're making my tights pill.

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  49. Who wants to come to the spa and help a girl out? It's only 1pm my time and I've already waxed 9 chachas-I'm sick of vag, stupid Valentine's Day.

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  50. I love you and your whory little ways, BLUE.

    FF, I'd love to give you a hand with the hair pulling, but I've got a bad case of the vaginaphobia.

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  51. FF - I knew I was forgetting something. Is it too late to get an appointment?

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  52. I'd put a link to vote on my page, also, but I seriously have like 2 regular readers on there. Hmmm...I do have readers followers on Facebook. I'll post a link on there. That should get you a few votes.

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  53. Sorry Miss Missives. Those tights just always give me a litter shiver.
    FF - I'll be over after me and Blue are done with our corner and the missing blender.

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  54. litter shiver?
    I'm even making myself nervous at this point.
    How about litle?

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  55. third place already? nice, but you will never beat perez hilton.

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  56. Franco - WTF? What are you? That guy who was trying to urinate on the legs of our wool marching band uniforms during the Veteran's Day parade in '81?
    Party pooper!

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  57. Yes, I am that guy.
    Since when is speaking the truth and crushing other people's desires a sin in this blog?

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  58. Oh, we can so gut Perez. Seriously.

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  59. You have a point Franco.
    Rassles, want me to ask Hellbilly to rev up your chain saw?

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  60. What a [REDACTED] [REDACTED][REDACTED] ass. I spent 30 [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] trying [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. Took me a whole half an hour of trying to enter that [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] captcha[REDACTED]. Done, but now I must say [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

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  61. I voted. I felt as good voting for y'all as I did voting for Obama!

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  62. I don't get it. Didn't DPH rip Twisted Lisa a new one for bragging about blog awards?

    Blog awards are like getting a medal at the special olympics. You may be a winner, but you're still fucking retarded.

    I thought you guys were all about the devil may care attitude and all that. Ya'll are competing against the gayest man on the planet now?

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  63. It's all in good fun, Thanatos. I don't think anybody here is taking it all that seriously.

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  64. It's business. Winning this particular award would open up huge opportunities. This isn't some dumb award, this is a cash cow. And I say take it and turn it into something golden.

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  65. What do I know? Serious, not serious...I voted. Twice. And I asked my friends to vote.

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  66. I think DPH may have been talking about those "I heart your blog" awards bloggers give to one another. I've given/received those, but this is different.
    I think Gap is right, that it is business.
    When I first saw 'Ask' I thought, "I cannot believe these people aren't charging for this!"
    Maybe they will some day.
    I don't know if they even want to charge for ripping people apart, but I would. But, you know, I'm a mean-minded whore like that.
    Verbal abuse and a bitch slap anyone?

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  67. Its a worthy win in terms of blogging awards. 27 votes to hilton's 100 and something. Seems like a wide gap but if you think about it, hilton should have more votes by now - he doesn't because pople aren't interested most in what they can do for others; hiltons fan base are mostly self centered teens and 20 somethings. People here do seem more interested in others. I actually think its possible to beat out hilton. His votes aren't increasing at a rapid rate. Plus, I really can't stand that guy.

    He stands for everything I find loathesome about humanity. Oops, personal opinion just slipped out. Sorry

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  68. When you next update your blogs reviewed list, will you please add me in the three stars category?

    http://www.beyondmyslab.blogspot.com

    Thank you.

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  69. Ari,

    If you can't be bothered to follow the submission process, why in hell should we review you?

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  70. Thanatos, you do realize that most of what people post on their blogs as "awards" are made up bits of graphics posted by one nothing blogger to another nothing blogger. In no way do those things resemble actual awards.

    I'm not sure that THIS is really for real, but I think the idea of "winning" for most obnoxious blog amuses the fuck out of me.

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  71. Ari: Fuck you.

    Lb: way to unleash the dentata.

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  72. @ Gwen & LB

    Hmm, alright. Was curious that's all.

    Incidentally, in the submission form (Ari, you should've known better) there's a check box "Is this your blog?". Does that mean you guys will review sites that the people submitting don't own? Like, are not even "team members"?

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  73. Ooooh, good question. From what I have seen, every now and then there is a blog with more than one author. I reviewed one, and let me tell you, Thanatos, it wasn't the prettiest thing I've ever seen. The other author had no idea that their blog had been submitted, and, well, I hate canadians. Let me clarify: I hate canadians without functioning vaginas.

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  74. Please. Those canadians were all cunts, as well you know, key.

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  75. And no, we don't review people who don't ask for it.

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  76. Looks to me like Ari just wanted to be added onto the "ranked" page. Or did I miss something?

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  77. Ease up y'all. Ari has already been reviewed (by me, and kindly). It's like Tourette's up in here.

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  78. Also, Ari, just FYI: The list of 3 star and 4 star bloggers (etc.) will eventually be retired and is not being updated. If you click on three stars at the top of the "ranked" page, you should be able to get to all the 3-starred reviews, including yours. I think we're trying to do it by tags now so that we don't have to update anything -- lazy bunch of fucks, aren't we?

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  79. Poor Ari! I remember she got a pretty decent review, so I guess she just wanted it on the list.

    As for Perez Hilton - yeah I pretty much hate him. It would be really satisfying to see this blog beat his out.

    Mongolian Girl - I completely agree with you. I think the service provided by the reviewers on this site is valuable. Not only do the reviews offer (mostly) constructive criticism but they appear to increase traffic to the reviewees' sites.

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  80. Re: "Is this your blog," we got a spate of submissions where the bloggers claimed they didn't submit (of course they were probably whiny little lying titty babies, but still), so we added that little check box.

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  81. Oh, Ari, my bad, I was a little bitchy last night. A couple of children got on my last good nerve.

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  82. I shall vote after I create an account. I thought I had one, but apparently I do not.

    Cheers!

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  83. I'm not pretty yet... but I am still writing, and my mother is still insane...

    *yes*
    I'm sue.

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