Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Do Not Resuscitate

Miss Missives loves many an Indian thing. For instance, I have a favorite pair of soft, silk, brightly colored, hand-beaded Indian slippers, no doubt lovingly sewn by seven year old hands. I frequently dive into a good Palak Paneer or Korma and when it's a gray and sad day, Gulab Jaman always cheers me up. I once had a Punjabi man servant who was as faithful a friend as I'll ever find. I adored Bride and Prejudice, the Bollywoodesque adaptation of one of Miss Missive's favorite classics.

So I was terribly disappointed that Terminal Rant didn't offer me a better glimpse into the life of an unmarried Indian woman in her mid twenties. What she did give me was a sum total of sixteen posts, sigh. Her header says:

A little bit of this..a little bit of that..and a whole lot of me.
She failed to deliver because the only thing there was a whole lot of was empty space and crickets(cue sound effects). Her About Me is a prime example of how someone can use words without saying anything. Her template is just like her blog, there's not a speck of thought put into it. The only promise she delivered on was the terminal part of rant because this blog died a short, painful death.

There were posts that piqued my interest like this one that trys to make the case for both love marriage and arranged marriage, but she never fleshed it out or even finished. Then there was the post where she admits she's bored to tears. All I can say is me too honey, me too.

Now you know how Miss Missives feels about diary entries but I really liked the first part of this. I love that she's praying to god that some guy gets a non virgin wife unbeknownst to him. That's funny because you juxtapose this very traditional belief with the reality of modern women. I also enjoyed parts of this where she considers life as a superhero named Happy Woman.

The disappointing thing here is I think Terminal Rant has a unique perspective straddling her Indian heritage and the encroaching influence of Western culture. The problem is, she just doesn't seem to have the attention span even basic blogging requires which makes me wonder why she started blogging in the first place. Much like a typical American sixteen year old girl views sex(something she's supposed to do), I suspect Terminal rant feels the same way about blogging. Or maybe she got wise like LoveBites has suggested this girl do, and Calamity suggested this girl do and she went and got herself a life.


So for you my friend, two flaming fingers






and for only making Miss Missives wade through 16 craptastic posts, you get 1/2 star

106 comments:

  1. There should be a thirty post minimum for a blog to be submitted. I can say, without a doubt, that I will never go to India. I don't even want to see it from an airplane.

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  2. When I read this blog, I thought the same thing about the lack of posts. Why submit in the first place? It seems that the last post was up in June or something. And her content bored me to bloody tears. No seriously. My eyes bled.

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  3. It's young 'ens week here on jeopardy!

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  4. On the subject of arranged marriage--I would never want my parents picking my partner. In part because I think I would silently, and not so silently, blame them every time he did something stupid which is going to happen with any husband.

    At least when you pick your own mate, when things get rough and rocky, you know you made your own bed so you work through it or you bail.

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  5. Just when I started loving the arranged-vs-love marriage post, I found myself standing alone in a desert. Blah.

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  6. I'd trust Eharmony before I'd trust my parents to pick a husband for me.

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  7. I would rather be single. I'm not really jonesin' to be a wifey any time soon.

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  8. Formerly Fun - That's saying a lot. Eharmony commercials make me vomitous.

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  9. Rassles - you're a smart woman. My younger sister, who is 25, is envious of anyone with an engagement ring. I'm like, girl, take the diamond if it's offered but make that a loooong engagement.

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  10. FF - no shit! My mom actually cried when I broke off an engagement w/ a guy who was being investigated for running a gambling ring and weapons and drug trafficking. Shit mom, don't you know how expensive all the stationary would be to keep up with a mofo in the pokey?

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  11. I think I'd let Gok match me up before my parents, mmmm biscotti.

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  12. I think I'd marry biscotti before I'd let GoK match me up.

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  13. Gok - You had me at biscotti. You had me at biscotti.

    DPH is one lucky woman with a romantic like you.

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  14. I think I would let GoK match me up because he is God.

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  15. I don't want you taking my name in vain when that dog dies from salmonella.

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  16. Rass, seriously, you cannot deny he is God. Or, well, kind of the son of God. Always present, talks in strange ways that are often difficult to understand, all humptastic with a whore.

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  17. Mg: you forgot 'sets talking bush on fire'.

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  18. Ff: please enjoy this holy gift of leprosy.

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  19. As long as you're handing out gifts, how about getting me some Gokdamn wine?

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  20. OH, he's a romantic alright! GoK, what was it you said to me last night? "Put your helmet back on, you're scaring the sane people"?

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  21. Oh praise GoK! Praise Yee-Haw-Way! Praise Good Ol' Dr. Thunder! The whore has shown her face and we love her!

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  22. Ooooh, I just thought of something actually romantical GoK did for me! He bought me this kick ass shirt I'm wearing today. It has a computer on it and on the monitor is a piratey skull and crossbones.

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  23. See Rass? See what you're missing by getting all jacked up and off the hook about letting God be your match maker?

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  24. Seeing as this is not my blog and I'm no reviewer, I've generally stayed away from commenting on the blogs you guys review.

    Then again, loads of "we, the Indian people" are signing up, so can't help but whine a bit. I get the feeling social networking is huge in India, and blogging is included. Blogs by many of us, are what livejournal used to be some 5 years ago - filled with angsty teens pouring their hearts out to their "dear diaries". Not as much of writing involved as there is sharing of "thoughts" through blogging and commenting. It's all perspective really, and it doesn't help that Indians understand Americans a lot better than the other way around.

    I do believe this is changing, as you may have noticed in the few Indian blogs you've liked and things will probably evolve. There are plenty of superb "writing" oriented Indian blogs, these will grow, and Americans will think beyond curry and customer support when they see Indian folk.

    Disclaimer 1: fat thumbs on small phone make for bad typos.

    Disclaimer 2: generalizing for a billion people is pretty hazardous, but I've done worse.

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  25. C'mon, Rass, everybody wants a personal Jesus.

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  26. Okay, you're probably right about this whole personal savior thing, because I totally just discovered that my fly was unzipped all day.

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  27. I was sooo hoping that this would be the tawdry blog of some loose flight attendant. Or least a chronically disgruntled frequent flier.

    Oh well.

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  28. Thanatos:

    I was thinking about this topic, as well. I think that younger bloggers, both in India and in the U.S., are former my-spacer/livejournaler types, and they bring that mentality with them. Whereas, those of us who are older became bloggers because of some brilliant blog we read, and so for us it is about the writing.

    The unfortunate thing is that blogging has become a fad, and like low rise pants, not everyone should do this particular fad.

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  29. I for one already think beyond curry and call centers, that's why I was disappointed she didn't offer more.

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  30. ohhhhh Miss Missives! Mighty cheeky of you my dear. Might I introduce you to God?

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  31. All I can think about now is biscotti.


    I'm hungry.

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  32. I'm one of those guilty of starting a blog on Myspace to keep my friends posted of my goings-on -and then bringing it over to blogspot to pollute the internet :) But I have no delusions about the quality of my writing. What surprises me - and this has been said before in reviews on this blog - is the number of people who seem to believe they are serious writers with some big future as a Pulitzer prize winner when they actually suck at stringing words together. I guess delusions of grandeur effect Indian people and Americans alike.

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  33. AAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY, BISCOTTI!

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  34. There are plenty of superb "writing" oriented Indian blogs, these will grow, and Americans will think beyond curry and customer support when they see Indian folk.

    Can't speak for all americans - but I for one thought much more highly of eastern India prior to the great outsourcing of customer service jobs.

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  35. Is this a reflection on Dell's customer service? because it blows.

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  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  37. Can't speak for all americans - but I for one thought much more highly of eastern India prior to the great outsourcing of customer service jobs.

    "It's not personal, it's just business".

    It was an active decision on these shores to send the jobs there (to North Western and Southern India, really - the East is still trying to sort communism out).

    Anyway. Whatever grinds your gears

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  38. What would grind my gears, Thanatos, is if people talked less about race and nationality as it relates to blogging- and just blogged.

    I don't care what nationality a blogger is, period. 'Though I am a little concerned other cultures, particularly Indian culture, seem to be taking on the emo thing so seriously. Emo dead ends into depression and decay. Kill the beast.

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  39. I understand Gap.

    I'll say this (and ignore my user name - I'm really not goth/emo whatever) though - I have no clue why so many of us off as emo in this blog. I have a hard time believing we're a nation of emo bloggers. I find it more probable that the guys signing up here are that way. Nearly everyone in my college friends-circle loves Maddox - maybe there's an influence somewhere.

    I'm guessing there are very few blogs that can present an Indian (or any other culture) perspective to the American (or any other) mind and be understood, let alone liked.

    Here are 2 hilarious blogs I read now and then, very Indian, very enjoyable. Not sure if the appeal will be the same but try 'em out, may change your mind a bit

    www.whatay.com
    www.flyyoufools.com

    I'm aware of the standards on this blog, but some emo free blogs that I know of :

    http://solitarycynic.blogspot.com/
    http://bengaloorubanter.blogspot.com/
    http://bengaloorubanter.blogspot.com/

    They haven't signed up for evaluation, they probably won't. Heck, they likely don't know about this blog or the audience.

    All I'm saying is, the ones you see here are a small sample set, can't judge a nation of bloggers by that. I'm not saying the reviews are overdoing the "indian emo bloggers" shtick (it's teh intrawebs - how seriously can you take someone's words?), but generalization can get a wee bit murky.

    Cheers.

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  40. Jeesus, that was a lot of crap I just spewed.

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  41. Got anything that hasn't been touched by human hands (and/or other organs?)

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  42. Thanatos - I like what you've shared today. I have been involved on an international committee since '02 that includes members from, literally, almost every country in the world. There are times when we are equally frustrated due to simply not having the life experience of a culture. For instance, I am currently on a workgroup that includes a gentleman from Greece. It has taken me months to understand where he is coming from when it comes to a book we are writing. Months! I finally had an 'Ah-ha!' moment during our last meeting regarding some of the concepts he had been trying to share. An entirely new set of viewpoints opened up to me that I had prior considered confusing, overly emotional and overdone. Luckily he has been willing to continue talking, sharing, expressing, etc...until things became clear.
    During our next meeting I plan to explain my hillbilly ways. I'm thinking of bringing him a pair of overalls, a feed bucket, and a petrified horse poop. What do you think? ha ha!

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  43. I have to agree with Gap. The nationality of a writer matters to me less than the actual quality of the writing on the blog. It's interesting to see different perspectives from all types of people but the most important thing for me is how good the writing is.

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  44. Maddox has a gift. But he's also a misogynistic creep, so I unlinked him from my private home page to make it harder for me to get there.

    it's teh intrawebs - how seriously can you take someone's words?

    Considering all your font here today this just screams hear me hear me, I bleed, I write, I inhale nothingness, I exhale indifference; I'm emo!

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  45. @ Gap

    Ok.

    @ mongoliangirl

    Thanks! I've been in a couple of international committees too, and I find that most people from Latin America, Asia and Eastern Europe understand each other. Western Europe and the North America are, well, different. Sure sounds like hillybillys have a lot of fun :)

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  46. @ Gwen

    Sure, only saying something outrageous about an entire nation's culture (oh noes!!11one!! all Indians are emo) based on some 5 blogs in the last few months seems rather absurd.

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  47. Thanatos - Hillbillies are frightened people who live in a holler waiting for the day when they get to shoot another person.
    Not really. I don't know what the hell we are or if I am even a hillbilly.
    Whomever - Sorry, too lazy to figure out who said that stuff about not caring what country a blogger is from, but only how good the writing is. I just think that's dumb.

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  48. Gap - Maddox may be a misogynistic creep but he cracks me up like no other. I got his book for Christmas. It's fucking funny.

    Thanatos - I don't know what you're getting at with your comment to me. I didn't say anything negative or make generalizations about anyone's culture. I merely stated that I thought this woman's blog was boring. It has nothing to do with her being from India.

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  49. Why is that dumb, Mongolian Girl? My point is that I will or won't read a blog based on whether or not I enjoy the writing. I'm confused as to why that's a dumb thing for me to say.

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  50. @ Gwen

    No offense intended. You agreed with cat-lady, and among the several things she said I caught this gem

    Though I am a little concerned other cultures, particularly Indian culture, seem to be taking on the emo thing so seriously.

    Generalization if I've seen one. Figured you were on the bandwagon too.

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  51. Oh I see what you mean Thanatos. I don't care for generalizations about cultures at all. Sometimes there are trends that are noticable or remarkable. Perhaps the types of people submitting for reviews tend to be more emo than others. I agree with you that it doesn't mean that Indian people are "emo". Sorry if I gave the impression that I felt that way. I think I need to start being more careful with my words. Thanks for your remarks!

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  52. I will or won't read a blog based on whether or not I enjoy the writing.

    Is there a chance you won't know if it's good if you don't understand the culture the writer grew up in?

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  53. Yep - and as long as blogs written by emo youth who happen to be Indian keep crossing my path - I'll just keep right on generalizing.

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  54. Why is it we have this same argument so frequently? If your writing is horrible, I really could fucking care less about your culture. I wouldn't ask Janet Reno to write a blog explaining our culture in an entertaining fashion. Look, this bitch is boring, and boring is fucking universally skin deep. Point in case, yesterday's reviewee: hated it. She's American, and she's boring as fuck. And until we see more offerings from non-emo Indians, we will continue to be bored. Yawn. Biscotti?

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  55. Good writing translates regardless of culture. You know when it's good the same way you know that a good orgasm is good. Not all orgasms are created equal.

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  56. I agree with you that it doesn't mean that Indian people are "emo".

    Whoo, thanks for that.

    The "reviewers" here call them as they see them (and this blog wasn't even tagged #indian kids), and that's fair. I was jut a little puzzled with the comments that were fling about. I don't like today's blog either, but the popular idea here seems to be that India is filled with kids waiting to paint their nails black and cry about the world being unfair.

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  57. Thanatos, I enjoy your comments. But I'm with Gap. So far, out of all of the Indian blogs reviewed here, two have not been written by young cutters. Yours and Crowley's. So, I would like to believe that you represent the majority, but can't ignore the numbers you have against you.

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  58. Thanatos - I guess it's possible. I'm not saying that reading about other cultures bores me. I enjoy that very much. But there are some bloggers that don't write well. Hasn't that been established? I just don't see why nobody seems to understand what I'm saying. I mean if somebody tells me that my blog sucks, that my writing is lacking, I wouldn't assume they held that opinion just because of who I AM or what country I was from. I feel like my words are coming across in a way I don't intend them to. Maybe I need to just STOP commenting.

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  59. but the popular idea here seems to be that India is filled with kids waiting to paint their nails black and cry about the world being unfair.

    Generalization alert.

    It shouldn't be so puzzling. The blogs that appear here for review are coming from people who happen to be both Indian and identify as emo.

    Anyway, since this subject is getting sore...I really wish these Mexican people here in my town wouldn't let their drapes hang out windows. Hate that.

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  60. @ GoK

    Yeah, wasn't talking about today's blog.

    1) I'm getting the impression that people who comment here think of India as swarming with kids bored with their lives and not getting any and wanting to slash their wrists. Not that it affects anyone's life but the said commentators are capable of better
    2) Culture or not, I find today's blog boring too. *shrug*
    3) I'm bored as fuck and haven't had a serious drink in 3 weeks.

    Point #3 is a big motivator for yanking strangers' chains around

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  61. Thantos, there is certainly an 'enjoyability' factor that can come to relating with the author or seeing yourself in the material. But really good writing transcends those differences. Jhumpa Lahiri's writing, for instance, although still an American writer of Bengali descent, is steeped in Indian culture. Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things is another example of good writing making the Indian settings and themes lyrical.

    There is a great list here:


    Indian Authors

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  62. @ GoK

    but can't ignore the numbers you have against you.

    Yeah, it comes down to Indian networking. I saw this site on Crowley's blog and signed up (as did Perakath too, I think). I'm willing to bet there's at least 5 more Indian emos waiting in the wings.

    Sigh, why isn't anyone handing me a drink?

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  63. Thanatos - Go get a drink. Or two or three. I don't believe you can lump millions of people into one category and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone else commenting on this board really believes that either. I think a lot of things are said on here in jest.

    One thing we ALL seem to agree on is that reading Terminal Rant is tantamount to taking 5 Ambiens. And it has nothing to do with the fact that she's Indian.

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  64. Miss Missives - FYI I clicked on the Indian Authors link and it doesn't work :( I'm always looking for some good recommendations.

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  65. Someone typed the word Ambien.

    Nummy.

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  66. @ Miss Missives

    Wow, Lahiri and Roy in any list puts a lot of pressure on the rest, but I do get what you (and the others) are saying. The link doesn't work - I do want to see what Americans like in Indian writing.

    @ Gwen

    Agreed, I'm going to fix myself a drink for the road to the bar.

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  67. Someone typed the word Ambien.

    That reminds me, a friend has a prescription for Vicodin he didn't fill out.

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  68. Ok, here, cut and paste.


    http://keepsakethoughts.blogspot.com/2007/05/book-tag-contemporary-indian-authors.html

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  69. And no Thantos, I don't expect blogs submitted here to be on par with literature, but these authors prove the point that Americans/Westerners can enjoy and admire Indian writers.

    Interpretations and nuances may differ based on cultural experiences. I know for instance that Indian culture is far more formal than her in the US. That being the case, an average American reader may interpret certain characters as excessively curt or even angry, when in fact, the mannerisms may be perfectly appropriate in Indian culture.

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  70. Who would be sitting on a prescription for Vicodin and not get it filled? I would be all over that shit. And Ambien. Mmmmm. Maybe I shouldn't compare that blog to taking Ambien. That's unfair...to the dignity of Ambien.

    Thanks Miss Missives. I hope I didn't annoy you by pointing that out about the link. I honestly was curious to read the recommendations.

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  71. Jesus, Krishna, and Gok, I thought we were going for "most obnoxious blog" not "everyone fucking hug each other and accept our differences."

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  72. Here, ladies, I'll fix this:

    Biscotti?

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  73. Random aside, but how come we don't get to see our resident Canadian Nutt(jobb)er anymore?

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  74. Jobber had some job turmoil and is busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger.

    As far as culture, etc., I certainly would be the last person to conclude that every indian blogger is emo. It just seems like the ones who have submitted HERE have been.

    Not emo, per se, but stuck in the moody teenage or early adult years, without much life to show for it. I'm going to assume, cavalierly, that this situation has NOTHING at all to do with being Indian, and everything to do with us somehow becoming popular in some obscure circle of Indian bloggers.

    And, I like writers from other cultures/countries (one of my favorites is the author of Persepolis), because I like the chance to get to live in a different part of the world, through their words.

    But these bloggers who have submitted here, from India, have (with the exception of a very few) been very boring.

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  75. And I blame SATC, Boston Legal and F.R.I.E.N.D.S for emo Indian kids.

    That is a whole load of plop in one sentence.

    That aside, I totally get what Love Bites is saying when she says "early adult years/moody teenage years". For example: me. I'm not stuck in the teenage rut, but I'm in it and I don't paint my nails black or related shit, but I think the world is not unfair mostly, just rant worthy.

    We're all talking like "emo" is in the Indian air or something. No, it isn't.

    PS: Why are you all being so nice to Thanatos anyway?

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  76. On the topic of Indians and appreciating them, I'd totally bang Sendhil Ramamurthy, even of he was born in the US and raised in San Antonio. Or maybe because of that. I don't know. I do have a thing for Texans.

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  77. No, we aren't talking about Emo as if it is in the Indian air or something. We are saying that, for whatever reasons, the only Indians who seem to submit their blogs here are dark moody teenagers.

    Please stop being fucking dense. TYVM.

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  78. Cal, I am so with you on that one.

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  79. LB, 'tis ok...she's (million different whatnot) a teenager. Res ipsa loquitor ;)

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  80. she's (million different whatnot) a teenager. Res ipsa loquitor ;)

    Thank god for the beacons of maturity then.

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  81. No, we aren't talking about Emo as if it is in the Indian air or something. We are saying that, for whatever reasons, the only Indians who seem to submit their blogs here are dark moody teenagers.

    Awesome. That done, we could probably toy with the idea that the miniscule percentage of Indians who ask for it here, do not represent India as a whole. Then, if the "beacons of maturity" here have some more time to kill like they do, they could also toy with the idea of not shying away from looking at India when they're flying over it.

    Sure. I'm dense.

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  82. Oh enough of this emo crap.

    I'm betting most emo people don't even know what Siouxsie's real name is, let alone the lyrics to every last song they ever wrote or covered. And you probably think Severin has something to do with bloodletting and Budgie to do with birds.

    You people don't know emo from a hole in your broken little hearts.

    Come crawling back here when you know what a Spy in the Cab really is.

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  83. them emo kids need a crash course in brain surgery.

    (Gap: Bauhaus. You're the man)

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  84. From now on, I propose that Mister Crowley is the exception to every rule:

    Indians are emo. Except for Crowley.

    Gravity holds us firmly to earth. Except for Crowley.

    All guys with popped collars are douchebags. Except for Crowley.

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  85. Uh, Love Bites just dropped a big steaming plop on a million different people at once.

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  86. Dude, they ALL pissed me off.

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  87. Dear Million different dumbasses:

    Sure you can keep talking...on your site. Which, I notice, this one isn't.

    Did I speak slowly enough for you to get past the American accent?

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  88. Love Bites, you deleted my reply twice, just because you can't take what you dish out to other people - you don't get to tell me what to do. You're a coward, and a hypocrite (if you didn't know already). The whole "It's my blog, I'll do what I want" argument is old, and coupled with your inconsistency, it's disastrous.

    You forget, Love Bites, I read what you wrote. If you'd spoken, I might probably have punched your jaw in, and that's not because of the "American accent".

    I'm glad this isn't my blog, because if this is maturity, I want no part of it.

    I don't care whether you delete this reply or not, because I now know what you aren't - a beacon of maturity. My condolences. Oh, and happy growing up.

    Love,
    Me.

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  89. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY, BISCOTTI OF MATURITY!

    Seriously, if you're looking for maturity, go somewhere else. Have you seen what goes on around here, retard?

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  90. Yeah, Millions, go ahead and tell someone who WANTS to be voted "Most Obnoxious" to grow up. Because that'll change things.

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  91. Do you think it hurts to be that stupid?

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  92. No, I think being emo offsets the pain of being a retard.

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  93. Maybe, for Indian Emo bloggers, it FEELS GOOD to be retarded.

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  94. Seriously, if you're looking for maturity, go somewhere else.

    I never said I was looking for maturity, GoK. You should probably let Love Bites know that though, because she still seems to think otherwise.

    Go ahead and tell someone who WANTS to be voted "Most Obnoxious" to grow up. Because that'll change things.

    I don't want to change things that aren't mine, Rassles. Put simply, Love Bites isn't obnoxious, just empty all over.

    Do you think it hurts to be that stupid?

    No idea, but my stomach hurts from all the laughing. You seem to have nothing else to say, Love Bites. Just so you know, assuming others' stupidity doesn't take away your own.

    No, I think being emo offsets the pain of being a retard.

    You would know, Crowley. You seem to be an authority on all things emo.

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  95. This thread is doing wonders for solidifying a big fat choice win. Blogger Who Beats the Most Dead Horses? Best Blog for Neverending Arguments Where Nothing Gets Accomplished Because Everyone Is Too Stubborn To Retreat? Colonel Custer Would Have Blogged Here?

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  96. You're right, Rassles. I'm done with dickheads who can do nought but launch an invective/ad hominem attack for cover.

    Peace.

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  97. Custer? Here? Ya think, Rass? A million different emo kids runnin' his way, he'd probably go, "last stand be dayumed...i'ma git my ayss outta here"

    oh, and millenium kid...yep, i'm an authority on emo...why d'you think I live at the other end of the country from all you emo brats?

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  98. Arguing from fallacy is what makes this place fun, Millions.

    What you're missing, and if you want to take anything away from this: I was making fun of myself for not letting it go. And now, especially, I'm still not letting it go, because we are TOTALLY playing the last word game right now.

    And Crow: Custer ain't afraid of any kind of Indian. (I can't believe I just said that.)

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  99. Rassles,

    Do you think you could introduce Sarcasm to the emos? Clearly, they can't recognize sarcasm when they see him.

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  100. Also, can I point out that it amuses me that I made the EXACT SAME POINT that million tried ineptly to make? Like, several posts earlier?

    You will never get the last word, fools. NEVA.

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Grow a pair.