Love Bites: Render, Tearer, Gnasher, Slayer

Today is not your lucky day, Travis J. Morgan, Philosopher, Artist, Poet and Musician.

Let me give you a tip: Titling yourself, in this way, gives off a strong odor of douche. The review is going to go downhill from here.

Frankly, dude, I think that you were either born in the wrong era, or had a traumatic head injury during your service (though, I do indeed salute you for serving). After listening to fingers and thumbs, I'm leaning toward the latter.

I actually think that this is the first true "hipster" blog that we've reviewed. I can visualize this guy, performing his poetry on a darkened stage in some smoky lounge, while overdressed twenty-somethings with artfully messy hair and hiphugger pants and white belts listen quietly while raising glasses of expensive beer to their lips. And if they like him, they snap their fingers, in unison.

What can you say about a guy who thinks he's coined his own phrases and wants to be quoted? You want to be quoted? That isn't a process you can force. You have to do the work on the inside, and say something real, for people to want to repeat it. Glibness isn't enough.

I'll give you this. The ink blot art is bad ass. But who paints a roll of toilet paper? Were you inspired during your last drinking binge whilst hugging the cool goodness of a porcelain bowl to sketch what you saw on your handy i-phone?

There are a few things I like. I like the site map button at the top of your page that gives us quick access to all your posts, by category.

I like the blog design, it's clean and uncluttered.

As far as your posting, though, you aren't saying anything that Henry Rollins didn't already say better, and before you even arrived on the scene.

In fact, you could learn a lot from Henry Rollins, now that I think about it. And, failing him, try Robert Ingersoll or Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Let's compare, shall we? This is you:

I am a cynic in the sense that I think that people intrinsically have underlying selfish motives whether they be conscious or unconscious. I have doubts in pure altruism, meaning that I think that most if not all acts have a selfish motive. While some acts may have been acted on in the interest of another, I doubt that those acts do not also have a selfish motive. To me, this can even be the “good” feeling you get from helping another. People will argue that when they perform such an act (which they call an “altruistic” act), they were only concerned about the others well-being. Yet, these same people have high regards for performing altruistic acts, and they get a high from attempting to do so. To me, this is yet another selfish motive that renders the act altruistic-less or at least not purely or only altruistic. - TJ Morgan

What is that, like a term paper for your ethics 101 class? Couldn't you have said that in ten words or less? Even Jesus put it in far simpler terms. I'm not a big fan of Jesus, but at least he wasn't a wordy fuck.

Compare your quote to this:

If abuses are destroyed, man must destroy them. If slaves are freed, man must free them. If new truths are discovered, man must discover them. If the naked are clothed; if the hungry are fed; if justice is done; if labor is rewarded; if superstition is driven from the mind; if the defenseless are protected and if the right finally triumphs, all must be the work of man. The grand victories of the future must be won by man, and by man alone. --Robert Ingersoll

Do you see how clean, how spare, how wonderfully unfuckedwith the prose of Robert Ingersoll is--in comparison to your thesaurus vomit?

Your blog needs two things. First, you need to lose your sense of having figured it all out, and your godawful sense of self-importance, and you need to cultivate wonder. Why are you blogging? Why do you think anyone would want to read this blog? What are you doing here? What do you hope to accomplish? Aside from feeding your huge ego, your blog doesn't do much. And, there is no wonder to it.

Secondly, you need to stop intellectualizing and start living. Start putting your flesh and blood on the fucking page, man. This calculated pose, this superficial philosophy, it sickens me. No one is going to recite a quote simply because it has big words in it.

There is nothing real on your blog. You want to be quote-worthy? Say something real. Real things resonate with all of us and are worth repeating.

Henry Rollins once said:

I think about the meaning of pain. Pain is personal. It really belongs to the one feeling it. Probably the only thing that is your own. I like mine.

See how real that is? I love that fucking quote. And it applies to you, too. Find your pain. Embrace it. Write about it. That might be worth reading about.

What you have on your blog right now--isn't.


For now, I give you for having the ability to write, but not the heart. And, for wasting my fucking time while you jacked off your brain.