Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Make 'em laugh

Dizzblnd, my reviewee of the day, tells us in her profile: "I like having fun. Laughing makes me happy, making other people laugh makes me happy." This is true for, like, 98.9% of the population that isn't misanthropic. I'm not a misanthrope (usually -- Ghost and Thanatos and Love Bites are bad influences), so I might be rounding that number up. Making others laugh is a good portion of why I blog, too, followed shortly thereafter by exorcising my demons (there are only three or four) and talking about sex.

So, however inelegantly she states it, I get why Dizzblnd blogs. Laughter = good.

Her blog design, though, = bad. It's an unnecessary three columns with lots of whozits in the sidebars. And it's bright freaking yellow. The header is ok, if a bit overcheerful. And I like cheerful. There are links to her other blogs in the tabs, along with a shout-out to her blog designer and a link to Humorbloggers (our favorite). Dzz, consolidate into one sidebar and move your archives up toward the top.

I haven't a clue why this blog is called Soggy Doggy Bloggy. Aside from her extraordinarily generic profile page with blogger, there's no "About," so I'm left to just figure this person out on my own. Here's where I go on and on about an about page again. Seriously, folks, I just need one. Please. They help your reader get to know you without having to dive in blind, searching for glimmers of who you are. Just give us a little to go on. It doesn't have to be extensive, just the vitals. I wanna know who you think you are.

Dizz told us when she submitted for review: "I blog to hopefully give my stalkers a laugh or a chuckle every time they come. I am NOT a mommy blogger, although I WILL bitch about my teenagers occasionally." And you know what? She's right. This is exactly what she does. Dzzblnd seems like a fun, playful person who doesn't take herself seriously. She enjoys life, is silly and irreverent, and doesn't cater to her kids. She hates to clean, and she lives in Florida. I like her. I think she'd be good company.

But she frequently posts email forwards and other people's stuff and games and memes and tags and "Mad Lib Monday" and she even reposts her own stuff. Sigh. I scrolled over all these things. They added nothing real or personal or new or fresh. They're just rehashed bits of internet effluvia or exercises in patting herself and other bloggers on the back.

Dzz's writing is rambling, stream of consciousness stuff with no polish. She never claimed to be a writer, after all, but I still want more effort/concentration/finesse in her posts. However charming I might find her as a person, her writing is mediocre. As a "humor blogger" (setting aside for a moment our general contempt for those who label themselves that way), we don't get any meat or depth from Dzz, which is ok for her purposes. But it leaves me a bit unsatisfied. One cannot live on a diet of cotton candy alone. Alas.

Today you get a meh. But make it worth my while -- clean up the design, make it more organized, and tighten up your writing -- and I'd easily give you a star. You really are kinda funny, when you're not going on and on forever and using other people's crap as a crutch. Lay off the reposts and emails. Post when you have something to say, and edit before you do.


67 comments:

  1. Well done, Lady Cal. I hate the columns, they make me itchy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are too many things on the blog distracting from the posts themselves. I'm too distracted to read anything, I don't know where to look and so I get all flustered and just close the window.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nothing quite says crazy like (I want to give something to/entertain/amuse "my stalkers")

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, gap, she could just do it and not tell everyone about it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Whew! That wasn't so bad! I was kind of scared. After reading some of the other reviews, I know you all also despise humor bloggers. I knew you wouldn't like the double columns or the whozits. I have tried to tame them down some. I will work on the other stuff as well.

    I try not to do the memes and such very often because I hate them.

    The reason it's called soggy-doggy-bloggy My daughter was trying to come up with names for her blog when our dog had just ran through the living room after a bath. I yelled out "soggy doggy bloggy" She didn't use it, so I did. Besides it's different and fun to say.

    I will lay off the email reposts and I will not repost my old stuff.

    Thanks again for an honest review.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow.

    Ok.

    Anyway, today I'm honestly going to pray to God for the strength to turn in, once and for all, my cynicism.

    I'm changing my blog's name to shitty lump-filled litter box.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm stalking you now, ky.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great review, Cal. She is what she is.

    I'm stalking my dog today, I like her smell for some reason. Oh and the stupid bow I put on her head.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey gap! That is kind of catchy too.. although.. you may attract too many LOL Catz

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gap, I think it would need to be "shitty lump-filled litter blog"

    It's really quite a helpful name. Kind of like how helpful Humor Blogger is in labeling blogs that are not funny enough.

    ReplyDelete
  12. omigawd not the LOL catz ROFL + LOL mixed with one eye rolling and a *smile w/accompanying laugh*

    not that!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Please explain, Blues.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great review Cal. I had the exact same thing going...went to her blog and loved the bits and pieces I found about HER. The problem - so much to click, dig for, ignore the flashing of, etc...to find much. I hope she gets that crap out of the way and blogs about herself more.
    Annnnnnnnd...whew! I am relieved there is another review up.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I wanna know who you think you areWhy, that's easy. I'm the Batman.

    ReplyDelete
  17. G'damn HTML and my fat thumbs and the damned iphone.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You have sausage fingers, don't ya?

    ReplyDelete
  19. I AM NOT A MISANTHROPE.

    Just wanted to say that, loudly and clearly. I laugh ALL the time.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Admittedly, I mostly laugh at other people, but still...not a misanthrope.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gap, blog instead of box. Fuck, I'm starting to speak like Silversnatch.

    ReplyDelete
  22. SilverSnatch is my fav super hero from DC comics.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Being a misanthrope doesn't have to do with your ability to laugh, but duly noted!

    ReplyDelete
  24. And, really, I don't think you're a misanthrope. But it's funnier if I do.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ok, I may be guilty. Can't I be Misteranthrope?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ghost, I think that's a fairly perfect screen name.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I agree, but I've worked so long and hard to bring recognition to my current name, I can't change it now, can I?

    ReplyDelete
  28. I like it. It could be your alter ego.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This day sucks. Hopefully that doesn't make me sound like a misanthrope, but seriously. SUCKS.

    ReplyDelete
  30. And I should be grateful for the circumstances that stranded me in this stupid fake Irish bar in an airport watching Manchester United kick the shit out of some other british team and drinking a harp, but right now, I'm just dreading sitting in a center seat for 3.5 hours. And I'm hungry and cranky.

    I may be a misanthrope, or just a whiny little bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  31. That some other Brit team is Arsenal, the mighty gunners, the side I've supported for 5 years now, the side I came to blows with an East Londoner for. Die you damn red devils. Rooney sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  32. GoK : Yes, they've been called that.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Isn't Arsenal the red team? They're losing. By two. I think I prefer Manchester United right now. They're winning. Also, some korean dude just scored a goal a l ittle bit ago. I like Koreans in principle.

    ReplyDelete
  34. By the way, Thanny, I can't help but feel that you and I are sharing a global digital moment.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yep, Arsenal's in red. ManU's playing away - but traditionally they wear red at home, hence the name. If you knew all that, you can go misanthropic on me.

    I've been watching the match too but I don't have alcohol on this side of the global moment.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Bah. Football. Everyone should just watch cricket and be done with it. Or maybe lacrosse.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh Thanatos, I'm guessing similar expletives are going on in your house as mine.

    Oh, no.

    Wait.

    They got one. Four more to go ...

    ReplyDelete
  38. Whats wrong with being a misanthrope?

    And Ghost, Tuesday most fucking definitely does equal the suck. I loath Tuesdays along with Mondays.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Tuesday is much more shitty than Monday could ever hope to be.

    ReplyDelete
  40. @ womb...

    I'm at work, I can't swear, can't drink. Makes the defeat all the more unbearable.

    At least the bastard got a red card.

    ReplyDelete
  41. On this particular Tuesday, I'm going to agree with you.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I have, at times, been a misanthrope by way of distrusting humans. Hating them? No. OK, maybe a few. One at a time. But not all humans.
    Want to know what I do hate? I hate not knowing how to comment on Blogger blogs from my BlackBerry. Who's gonna step up and teach me that one?
    (Don't be afraid, it only took me 6 months to learn how to Twitter.)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sorry Mongolian Girl, I'm not cool enough to have a blackberry. All I've got is my stupid pink razor. Bah.

    This twitter thing..I just cant bring myself to do it. Is it really as "wonderful" as so many people make it out to be?

    ReplyDelete
  44. I don't know about 'wonderful', but it sure is killing my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yeah, but having a pink razor makes me think of having some kind of amazing pussy.
    Twitter = wonderful???
    Nah.
    But I kind of like it.
    OK people, whomever teaches me how to comment on a Blogger/Blogspot blog will receive pumpkin muffins in the mail sans killing and butt fucking.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Nothing could kill GoD's blog. What the hell is wrong with you, sayin' shit like that?

    ReplyDelete
  47. OK...I'm going to sit on our veranda and enjoy the rain.
    I'll check back later for my BlackBerry commenting on Blogger/Blogspot blog lesson.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Yeah, you're right, MG. I just feel like I've been spending way to much time over there, when I probably should be blogging.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Holy shit MG! I DO have an amazing pussy! I knew there was a deeply rooted reason why I just had to have the pink one..I just knew it!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Um Sarah, I'm glad you have a nice pussy and all, but unless you're on task with getting me up and running with commenting on Blogger/Blogspot blogs you can just snap that fancy thing shut.
    tee hee hee
    That was really fun to say!

    ReplyDelete
  51. A post with a year old video of the girl stuck in the vending machine gets twenty comments. What am I doing wrong here? How many dicks do I have to suck to get some comments?

    ReplyDelete
  52. I'll leave that one alone. Just this once.

    ReplyDelete
  53. People in the Sun - you are blogging with some integrity man. Seriously. If you change that I'm going to tell you all kinds of things you've never wanted to hear about suckin' cock.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thank you, Mongolian Girl. I was just joking, really.

    Mostly.

    And of course when I count comments I don't count the ones where GoK makes fun of my hairstyle.

    ReplyDelete
  55. MG--I think the reason you can't comment is because Wordpress is slowly taking over...one Blackberry at time.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Yes ma'am. We'll go back to sitting in the corner now...

    ReplyDelete
  57. Sometimes I live in an amazingly ginormous state of denial. Like, you know, expecting Askers to answer my Blogger/Blogspot/CrackBerry/Can'tComment problem.
    Damnit people.
    No pumpkin muffins, killin', or butt fuckin' for a week.
    Oh, and you're welcome People in the Sun.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Beef Curtain, you probably can't do blogger from your blackberry because you never have it near you. It takes you like 6 hours to respond to my texts. Carry it on you and your problem will be fixed. Biscotti?

    ReplyDelete
  59. Shit. I just watched a seriously dumb video at 'Blogger Help' that was apparently mistitled and should have been 'Blogger Unhelpful'.

    ReplyDelete
  60. DPH - Girl, don't you know by now I'm living smack ass in the middle of nowhere? What makes you think cell service is anything but entirely sucky out here. I am SO going to have to schedule your future husband's banjo lesson and your stall cleaning lesson soon.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I have little to say, except that Mr. Booms and I just got tickets for Mr. and Mrs. Pirate Hooker to come see us and a baseball game.

    ReplyDelete
  62. And I can't even tell you how fucking excited I am! I hope you're ready for us, lol

    ReplyDelete
  63. Boomstah - I can feel the entire state of Missouri getting all kindsa twitterpated as we speak.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I linked to you.. does that little bit of ass kissing get me anywhere?

    ReplyDelete
  65. I predict some full-tilt swinging in the future.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.