Thursday, June 25, 2009

Just 5 more minutes


Some people go to woeful lengths to avoid me finding them. The blog up for review was here, but as of a day or so ago, it's now here.

Heidi is the author of 'while my boyfriend was sleeping', and she's a lucky girl she moved her blog, because her blogspot hosted one was ugly. Stretched and mangled and off-putting.
In fact I would go as far as to say that this is a great example of the difference that presenting your blog can make. The new look is a huge improvement.

Although, you do not need, nor will anyone ever have any interest in, the 500 or so categories you list, and the search performance on your new blog really sucks*.
Heidi, you write delightfully. Light, and airy, clear, concise and edited. It is no surprise that you write for a living. You present each entry pretty much perfectly.

Pacing, images, punctuation, all are faultless. Then comes the downside, which hurts me more than it hurts you, the blog is about nothing. Absolutely nothing. The tagline of this being what you do while your boyfriend is sleeping is catchy, but it means, and shows us, nothing.

Maybe you keep your blood and guts for your day job, which is after all what pays your bills, but I'm here to review the blog, and unfortunately that doesn't cut it for me.

There is no passion to be seen. Passing peeves and incidental likes get a mention, but in the dozens of posts I read I didn't get any idea of what you really are about. There must be more layers to your writing, it's a shame we don't see them here.

Your highlights come in the form of observation, for example you captured this brilliantly. We can see the kid's peculiar mind working through the exchange, and maybe even a slight peek at your own personality through the responses.

Your presentation of pen letters from kids highlight what we miss in your entries. They show their personality in a line or two, you don't in entries 700 smartly crafted and edited words long. Or compare the insight to you in your normal posts versus the real glimpses we get through the wee notes you leave your boyfriend. Again more character in 6 words than in entire entries.

You tackle personal moments, you just don't make them seem personal.

It's really up to you, do you want to be a reporter on your blog, or a writer?

This is a case of 2 stars lost, rather than 2 stars earned, but for the good work, high standards, and obvious skill:







* - In fact, it seemed to be unreachable at times as I was gathering the links for this.

16 comments:

  1. love the way the writing flows, but alas, it is not a blog that grabs my attention.

    I like the "continue reading" option. I have tried to put it in my blog, but for whatever reason, I can not get it to work correctly.

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  2. I concur, padre. Well written, but not engaging for the most part.

    Her most recent post (dated 23 June) was good, although it was blogging about blogging.

    I wonder if the lack of "oomph" in the content has anything to do with her using her real name and image on the blog? As if she's worried about the ramifications of sharing too much?

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  3. Ramifications of sharing too much.

    Ha.

    Totally naming my band that.

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  4. You tackle personal and moments, you just don't make them seem personal.

    Neat review.

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  5. I personally don't like blogs with a "continue reading" button/link. Haven't seen too many blogs that have made a compelling case for me to keep reading.

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  6. I'm with you, Thanny. If you're not riveting in the first goddamn sentence, then don't pull that shit on your blog.

    Pisses me off, actually. Usually I just won't go back to a blog with those.

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  7. I think I had that button for a while, but ditched it, because it always annoys me and I'm with Rassles, I probably won't go back to a blog that wants me to click more.

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  9. Yeah, if you can't get your shit across in the first 4 paragraphs another 5 won't help. Brevity is a lost cause.

    I think Chris' blog is the only one with a "continue reading" button that I read. Even so I curse him every single time. Guess he'll know when his car won't start this morning.

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  10. I changed that last week as per Ask,a advice.

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  11. Ask's advice


    Oh fuck it, you know what I mean

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  12. Yeah, clicking that second time is just too much commitment for me. I'm usually not ready for giving that much at early stages in my blog-reading relationships.

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  13. It gave me a good example of the flow of words but it was pointless in most cases.

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  14. Good review.

    Can't say her material makes me want to read more though. . .

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  15. I'm too fucking exhausted to bother with reading this girl's blog. So I won't. I saw Thanny's comment about brevity and I get the feeling that I am capable of nothing more than assaulting this poor girl verbally and frequently. Oh, and I'm back. Who want a rimjob?

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  16. The comment I left over there informing her of her review has been deleted, and ignored.

    Can I take a crow bar to one of those stars?

    Ungrateful wench.

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Grow a pair.