Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Yippee Kai Yay, Muthafuckas

Whiny Beyotch Roundup:

Siuilaruin says "I did it my way" and parrots the standard refrain of, "but you didn't give me enough helpful feedback!"

Blue Lanugo actually writes a blog post.

Michelle does not whine and reorganizes her blogs. Kudos.

Travis J. Morgan: The Creative Thinker keeps on with the iphone sketches.

Jessica Gottlieb does the unthinkable, and gets better.

70 comments:

  1. For the record? I'm still a hipster. Just so you know.

    I know someone who made out with Bruce Willis once, she said he was a total dog too.

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  2. I actually quoted you today on my private blog. You're not only a hipster, you're a wise not-old punk rock woman.

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  3. Oh, you're a hipster alright, BB.

    And I've decided to consider myself an utter failure when it comes to providing a blog review. That one review I did? He's posted once since, and it was exactly what I complained about.

    No, wait, that's his problem, right?

    I'm not a hipster.

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  4. Well, LB, you know, being a hipster, I have lots of time to be introspective and think about why I might be so fucked up.

    MG - You love my hipsterness.

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  5. MG, a couple of people I reviewed have since quit blogging, and it wasn't even the ones I wished would stop.

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  6. It's true, BB, I love your hipsterness. And your vlogging. And your boobs, brains and humor.

    LB - I actually wish my one reviewee would blog. I want to know who he fucked at that law firm. Or, at least, who he WANTED to fuck. Not fair, leaving me out of a fuck party.

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  7. Shit! LB - I need your blog url again. Yours and Cal's are no longer in my reader. WTF?

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  8. Also, is it just me, or does that little avatar photo I use make it look like I'm missing one of my front teeth.
    I wouldn't really care, but I DO happen to live in the Ozarks and just don't want to add to anyone's humorfest about hillbillys.

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  9. Or maybe it looks like I've got a gold front?
    That I could live with.

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  10. Mongo, I wish you had gold teeth, because then you could run around going, "Why you gotta be all up in grill?"

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  11. IN. MY. GRILL.


    (Dear Me,

    USE. YOUR. WORDS.

    Love, Me.)

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  12. with diamond studs, Rass. Don't forget the diamond studs.

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  13. Holy Shit! Jessica Gottlieb did get better. I just read every post since that rant about the review she did, and every single one is better than almost anything else I read while doing the review.

    I feel like Mr. Belvedere!

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  14. Rass, you just overused the period though.

    Grounded!

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  15. Wait...isn't jessica gottlieb the one who talked shit about Betsey? Because if that's the case I won't bother going over there to check her out.

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  16. Mortal kombat : Annhilation was a fuckin disappointment.

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  17. Oh yeah, that's the one.

    You're my girl, Gwen!

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  18. Are we still holding grudges? I have a hard time remembering my grudges.

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  19. Also, re: comment #1 about bruce willis...in what way was he a dog? Just curious.

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  20. Yeah, I don't have a hard time remembering grudges. Just because I don't care, doesn't mean that I forgot.

    Dog: Oh you know, of the hit on and fuck everything with two legs variety.

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  21. Okay. Jessica, I hate you, still. But your blog looks better.

    Secondly, I wasn't sure on the Bruce thing. I once kissed this 25-year-old guy (when I was 39), and it was seriously like being licked in the mouth by an excited hound dog.

    I totally understand why his wife refuses to have sex with him.

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  22. God, I fucking love Bruce Willis.

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  23. Yeah, I still love Bruce Willis, but I could never LOVE Bruce Willis.

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  24. I don't even care. He makes eye contact with me, and I will drop my clothes on the spot. I don't care that he's old and sexist. Come on. Have you seen Die Hard? Total lady boner.

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  25. So yeah, I should add:

    LB? Excellent title. I was going to say it earlier, but I've been kinda distracted all morning.

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  26. Rass - Can I call you Lady Boner?

    Please?

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  27. It does kind of suit me.

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  28. You can be Ross Stabone. You'll be my Lady Boner.

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  29. Even though it's a term that I reserve for like Bruce Willis, Gerard Butler, and the Star Trek movie.

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  30. If you're Lady Boner, does that make me like the Duke of Boner.

    That's a righteous title.

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  31. Shouldn't the Duke of Boner have a sash of some kind?

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  32. It must be flesh colored.

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  33. And now, by the power invested in me, I pronounce Boomer the Duke of Boners.

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  34. Duke of Boner6/09/2009 1:41 PM

    Ya'll get off my satin, flesh colored, bedazzled sash.

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  35. Why you gotta be all up in my sash?

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  36. Duke of Boner6/09/2009 1:44 PM

    Hey, if you liked it then you shoulda put a sash on it.

    Duke of Boner - Out!

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  37. Gah you guys, I told you I was listening.

    And well, I'm okay with some of y'all hating me. You're prolly in company.

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  38. oh, and can I have a "full Meh" now?

    Cuz there's no hope for template, I'll never care about colors and shit.

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  39. Bruce is one of those manly man men who you've just gotta hand it over for. You just serve the pussy up on a plate for those guys. Bruce and Daniel Craig and Titus Pullo.

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  40. And Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife...

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  41. Oh, man. Accounticus. You gotta have your 10-key ready for that one.

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  42. Accounticus was the blonde one obsessed with his lawn, right?

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  43. Yes he was! He looks crazy hot in a toga too.

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  44. I hear his wife has great tits.

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  45. You mean, Attitia? Yeah... Fabulous.

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  46. I bedazzled my crotch, its like a crazy disco ball for midgets.

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  47. How do you folks feel about Testicles, the famous Greek philosopher and sex therapist?

    I thought he was pretty cool, but he always hung out with a total dick.

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  48. I like Testicles. He's a swinger, though.

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  49. Ugh, I wish Bruce Willis would bring his dog out for me. He can bite the back of my neck and mount me anyday.

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  50. I'm sorry, y'all. I've been totally captivated by goths in hot weather.

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  51. LB - Goths in Hot Weather? Thanks for linking that. It's the blog I wish were mine.

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  52. What's with the Bruce Willis love? I don't get it. Titus Pullo - now THIS I get. And Lucius Vorenus. Mmmmm.

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  53. Bruce Schmooce. Who cares. Sorry ladies. My forever fantasy will be Jack Nicholson around the time of Terms of Endearment.

    Rass: I think I should have two gold fronts: One gold and encrusted with yellow diamonds and emeralds in the shape of a sunflower. The other, a knife with rubies representing blood dripping off of said knife.
    My grill would be so fuckin' fly, and I would simultaneously threaten and love others all the time.

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  54. Also? All I need to know about Jessica:
    1) Does she still think my prison comment was about her kids?
    2) Is she the one who brought up the most painful thing from Betsey's past and made me want to stand on her neck?

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  55. Titus Pullo is mine, bitch, MINE!

    Ahem.

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  56. MG, thank you for your shanking sentiments.a.. That wasn't Jessica.

    She just accused me of being a passive aggressive hipster and said I wasn't pretty on the inside.

    You know, I'm such a hateful person.

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  57. For what its worth BB, I think you're pretty inside and out.

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  58. How do you know that Sarah? Do you have pictures?

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  59. Somewhere, I have a picture of my insides. It was taken when I was pregnant with my son and had to have gallbladder surgery. It shows my uterus, kidneys, stomach and liver. I have never considered my insides all that attractive, but if there is ANYONE, ANYWHERE who is pretty on the inside, I'm pretty sure it's Betsey Booms.

    Also, I have it on good authority that Betsey is not, in fact, passive aggressive. She's just aggressive and will kick your fucking ass if you mess with her.

    That is all.

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  60. I feel so fucking loved.

    And there are no pictures of my insides, except ultrasounds of my kidlets, who are pretty freaking gorgeous.

    And I don't know about the rest of that, but I do know that I make it a rule to not say things that I wouldn't say to someone's face.

    It may not always be pretty, but I'm usually pretty honest.

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  61. Hmm, when I said pictures of the insides I wasn't thinking kidneys.

    I need a drink. And to stay away from 4chan

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  62. One sincerely nice comment left by me...and ya gotta take it there, dont ya Thanny? Geez.

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  63. Also, I have a picture of my liver. Which until last weekend was a very nice looking liver. Now I'm thinkin, not so much.

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  64. I have a box set of CTs, MRIs, sonargrams and x-rays. I think our guts all pretty much look the same.

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  65. Wow,your liver made it until last week? I'm jealous.

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  66. Yeah, BB, I'd stand on someone's neck for you. I'd also stick a very sharp pencil in their ear canal while I flash 'em my jewel encrusted grill. Why yes. Yes, I should have been a high ranking Mayan.

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  67. Or perhaps, a conquistador.

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  68. MG - Anyone who would stand on a neck for me is pretty much in the front of my book.

    You are one bad ass Mayan chick.

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Grow a pair.