Monday, March 01, 2010

Just Give Me Medicine, Dickbag.

Hey kids, Miss Missives here with a blast from the past, a reviewer that makes your knees weak and your stomach lurch. Makes you want to be a dirty girl and then shower off the stink of him. He'll bang you by a dumpster, then spend the night ransacking your trash cans. He goes by many names like Pirate-fucker, Butt-boy, Gok, Captain Biscotti, and of course, Admiral Ghost. You can find him here and his new digs here. Oh how we've missed him.



Well hello again, motherfuckers. So we meet again. Allow myself to introduce myself. I'll save the pleasantries for the comment section, let's get on with today's shitstain.


The Angriest Pharmacist, um, fuck who am I kidding? I'm sure that you, sir, are the most entertaining motherfucker ever to become an ordained pill pusher, but I honestly can't bring myself to give a shit. Really. What is this shit? When I was summoned from the black beyond, I was really hoping for another shot at glory, but I can see that I have lost favor with the gods. Here, I'll give you the standard:


1. Your template is complete shit.

2. Your writing is complete shit.

3. Your passive/aggressive dealings with the world are, in fact, complete shit.

4. I bet you're a kickass pharmacist.


Being the Ghost of All Ghosts, I don't gamble much, so number four is pretty much me throwing you a spiritual bone. Before this review turns nasty, I want you to go find someone for me, Pharmacist. Go find the stupid asshole that pushed you into blogging. Shoot him. Twice. Then call me, and I will run over his carcass with my wife's Escalade. You've had more than two years to get your shit together, and your first post isn't much better than your last. Seriously, if your blog was a sexual position, it would be Abstinence. I'm a bit rusty, maybe, but I know bad blogging when I see it, and well, I saw your blog.


So, who missed me? Anyone? Really? Keep your mouth open, I've been dying to share something with you. Hint: It's my penis.

For the pharmacist:


blech.












Somebody clean this shit up.

16 comments:

  1. mongoliangirl3/01/2010 2:32 PM

    Oh, and you're welcome Pharmacist, for me never introducing myself into your life when I was still a drug addled whore. I assure you, I would have given you a REAL reason to drop the passive and go straight to aggressive every time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Will do, slutbag. I wish he had met you, wouldve at least given me something to read.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also? You like that, MG, you little tart.

    ReplyDelete
  4. mongoliangirl3/01/2010 3:39 PM

    Yeah, there's not much to read out of the MG lately, eh? I would go read the Pharmicist's blog, but that would only give me yet another crow bar incident to discuss.
    Hey, now there's an idea!
    Glad you're back Ghost.

    ReplyDelete
  5. mongoliangirl3/01/2010 3:40 PM

    And, please, keep the 'little' away from my tart. As I've always said - I'm not a size queen, but I sure to like their boyfriends.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This guy is a pharm tech, not a pharmacist, not to say that makes him stupid by any means but he's got a chip on his shoulder like that of a bullied sophomore ready to unleash on the new batch of freshmen.

    I only read through a few posts before it was making me want to figure out how to get my hands on some script-free Adderall and punch somebody. So Angriest Pharm-tech, why so angry?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh and Gok, welcome back, I never look at a dumpster without thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Holy shit that was funny! Who are you? Thank God almighty you didn’t review my blog. It was reviewed back in August and I’d probably still be in recovery from the thrashing. Guys like you use to take my lunch money away when I was in junior high. Hope your blog is half as good as this review.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, shit. A Pharm TECH??? Ok, I can see why you might be a little touchy. Because you're like a roadie. Wait, no, roadies are cooler. Nevermind, I still think its complete shit.

    Miss M: I don't deep fry without wondering....

    Unbearable: I'm Nobody! Who are you?


    Ah, the admiring bog.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is the second pharmacist we've ever reviewed. And the other one didn't suck. This one should die a fiery death.

    WElcome back, keymaster.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well...
    I couldn't care much less about whatever blog you just reviewed... but I guess I'mma have to subscribe to the reviewer.
    *sigh*

    Oh pain, how I love thee...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh Key, how I've missed your vile yet sexy ways.

    Oh and Rassles? Next A-hole on the list is for you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yeah, apparently there was some vile in the lost and found here and well, it's mine.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'd like to let everyone kmow, that the person in the picture for this rating, is my brother. He's not gay. Just strange.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "He'll bang you by a dumpster, then spend the night ransacking your trash cans".

    I just keep going back and laughing at that one.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Blues, it's all true. I accept my welcome return.

    ReplyDelete

Grow a pair.