Tuesday, August 24, 2010

That's why her hair is so big: it's full of secrets.


As any regular readers can tell, I don't shy away from swearing. Identifying myself as a person who clutters her speech with extravagant curses is like working for the Department of Redundancy Department. You people can deduce my fondness for profanity on your own because you aren't fucking goldfish.

Of course, some bloggers, like One Crazy Brunette Chick, find it necessary to shock and tug us in specified direction by grabbing our ears and thrusting obscenities down our throats. No regard for foreplay or discipline, it's just, "I SAY FUCK A LOT!!! FUCKINDEALWITHIT!! LIFE SUCKS, CUNTS!!!" as if we'll recoil at the impiety or something.

CB, lady, that shit is tired. Everyone says fuck a lot. It's not shocking, it's not revolutionary, it's the way a million bajillion people speak all the time, and the fact that a grown woman is shilling it as some sort of slutty rebellion is a bit fatigued. We get it. You're so bad. You wear stilettos and swear. The dichotomy is mind-blowing. Fuckin' hooray.

Honestly, I find the whole thing quite boring.

Cursing and exclamation points and a faux sociopathic surface don't make bloggers more interesting, just more widespread and demanding. You wanna fucking prove you're a fucking bad ass by fucking having a verbal fucking fuckathon? BRING IT.

See, I can throw sporadic fucks around too, but that doesn't make my writing any better. Too much vulgarity is one-dimensional and boring, unless it compliments the story. I feel like you're blogging just to remind everyone you know how to run your fucking mouth. Apparently your life is full of internet drama that I don't understand, since I run in a different pack of bloggers - you know, the ones that write because they have to write, not because they want to shit-talk. Which is odd to think about, since I write here.

You claim to have a number of enhancing characteristics:

...it takes a considerable amount of FABulous to be a crazy ass, eccentric, dramatic, charming, and classy lady like myself.

but you've got the charm of a condom, and let's be honest here: condoms are the least sexy thing about doin' it. No one fantasizes about dirty, sultry prophylactic-time (well now they do, Rule 34). We want it passionate and urgently momentous in its raw, honest, unprotected glory.

And what do we get? Fucking latex, a protective sheath. You're better than that, and I know it. Your tattoos say more about you than your blog. You're mixing a shot of impulsiveness and youth, beauty, love and regret, then choking it down, smashing the glass and dancing in its shards, with a flippant "I'm a dumb bitch" dismissal and a change of subject.

I want to hear about Ryan and Justin. I want to hear about the hasty girl of your past that morphed into this eyebrowless, very hot mother of two who chainsmokes and clouds herself in blasphemy and kitten rage. Prove you're eccentric by giving me ideas and perspectives I've never heard before. As of right now, after rummaging through all the "skanks" and "cunts," it's crystal to me: you're afraid of having no personality, and you cover it up by littering your posts with insults and curses.

Stop cocking around. Every once in awhile you show us a smidge of wisdom, a speck of uniqueness, but this bawdy, brash brat routine is old. As a society we've been watching ignorant, self-obsessed TV mutants get drunk and swear and slap each other over shitty lovers. Please don't add another lamewad to the mix. I get it though, because you're in it for the clicks. The internet is obviously a popularity contest for you and nothing else.

Those rare times you seem intelligent and hilariously creative, I smile in satisfaction. See, details are good, like calling your daughter 'Ladybug' in a line of dialogue instead of braying, "I call my daughter 'Ladybug!' I fucking rock!" You show that you have quirkish stories to tell. But then? Then you purposely cover it up with a spree of exclamations and pointless asides, which turns your writing into just about the most boringest thing ever.

As far as the template is concerned, I definitely like this header better than the mudflaps girl you sported a month ago, but I think you should minimize it and destroy the "click here to share" links. They're a trashy, whorish distraction, they take lightyears to load, and I have important cartoons to watch. And I can't deal with that crawling, epileptic banner circus, could you please do something about that?

Don't center the text of your posts. They're far easier to read earlier on in your blog when it's all flush left. Remember, some people are old. Of course I'm not, I'm an angry twenty-something who loves deadpan satire, loathes Nickelback (CB, you have the shittiest music taste ever - luvyabetch!) and slacks off at work to review blogs that want it from me and want it bad, but your sidebar hurts behind my eyes, like the entire eyeball and all the stringy nerves behind it are throbbing because there is so much fucking widgetty bannery stuff.

I gotta say though, I love how the 'Click Your Heels' button sends you home. Brilliant. Hopefully someday the other links will lead to relevant entries and maybe a personal profile instead of noxious self-promotion.

180 comments:

  1. And Fanny has asked me to kindly request that you say crack again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hell yeah, Meat. Feeling better?

    ReplyDelete
  3. A little, yes, thank you. My appetites are returning.

    ReplyDelete
  4. She has a lot of readers and i don't get why. Why do people get off on the whole trashy housewife thing? Can someone please sit me down and explain why?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Holy cow, that crazy brunette is SOOO crazy!

    And we all know how I feel about "crazy" -- don't we, Jacki?

    Hands down the best line I have read in a while, and one that deserves to be on a t-shirt or something: "Your tattoos say more about you than your blog"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Am I allowed to comment on my own blog???

    I just wanted to say that I appreciate the 'nice' (some of it was, right?) things you said about me. I also want to thank you for your HONEST opinion of things I write.

    I know you obviously do not think I'm a badass... but nobody ever wants to tell me the TRUTH about shit.

    Too bad there is no e-mail link for you, I'd like to send you something I wrote a couple days ago and am not sure I want to post it... but it's more like the things you suggested.

    I am a big girl and enjoy constructive criticism! Oh and to Gap... I have asked myself a hundred times why people want to read a chick that cusses constantly and is entirely too conceited. So you're guess is as good as mine!

    Thanks fucker!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mean Girls, awww, back when Lindsay was sober. Amanda Seyfried and Rachel McAdams did ok though.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Conceit: nothing screams defense mechanism louder. Same for the smoking.

    CB, I'm sure your readers would love you no matter what, or in what spirit, you write.

    ReplyDelete
  9. As a general rule of thumb, if you're afraid to post something? POST IT.

    ReplyDelete
  10. the middle column and bloggy badgey stuff gave me a headache.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Way too much going on on that blog.

    I despise having to scroll down past a header the size of Dawn French's arse to get to the next eye sore, in this case, the text.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nothing like a well timed 'fuck' or 'cunt' but there ain't nothing well-timed in that blog that I could see.

    I think Crissy does this 'type' of wife better.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey asshats! Did you fucking see that I LINKED in a comment! Are you bastards proud of me now that I am all grown up and shit?

    Hell yeah - who is a big bitch now!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Um, well, I have a thing for eyebrow-less women, so points for that, CB. Here's a tip: if you're tiny voice tells you that 'you can't post that', you most certainly should 'post that'. Nobody wants to read 'safe' anything. It's dull, and well, um, safe. Save that shit for bloggers like Dooce and well, um, Dooce.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, and here's another 'well, um' in case I left anyone wanting more.

    ReplyDelete
  16. gap- You are completely right. 'CB' is my defense mechanism. Absolutely.

    But I am a bit confused by everyone (well ALMOST everyone) else's comments.

    You used just as many trashy words as I do... and I went to all of your blogs, honestly they are nothing that I would make a point to read daily or weekly.

    Because there is nothing fun going on. And I honestly am not being a bitch saying that. Just my opinion.

    And at Please Don't Eat with Your Mouth Open... I couldn't get past the first paragraph , because you had nothing to say except crap about your socks or some shit. In my opinion you have a huge chip on your shoulder.

    Shriner and *- I know. But it doesn't make it any easier to step outside the boundaries that make me feel 'safe'. (For lack of a better word.)

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  17. I don't think anyone should do "this type of wife."

    ReplyDelete
  18. I guess it depends on what you define as "fun." Lots of things you think are fun make me wanna throw myself into a river. Which could be fun.

    ReplyDelete
  19. CB, you have really shown yourself to be a classy lady in these comments, I must say.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My advice, as it so often is on blogs like this is to start over, with a clean slate, and be real this time. If you're scared to post it, that means you've invested more into your internet "persona" than you have into really creating something. And that sucks, frankly.

    ReplyDelete
  21. CB, you'd look about 693% more attractive if you wore 82% less eyeliner.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Also, WHAT IN THE FUCK CRAWLED INTO BLOGGER'S VAGINA that has caused all these damn 503 errors? It's enough to make me switch to wordpress, FFS.

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  23. CB, the people read you daily read you because they relate. Those same people would probably relate if you let your guard down and wrote about matters of your heart. Obviously popularity is important to you at this stage in your life. You would probably be even more popular, and for better reasons if you wrote about other things.

    If truly you feel that writing about deeper things is what you want to do then just do it. Forget the fear. Just do it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. "And at Please Don't Eat with Your Mouth Open... I couldn't get past the first paragraph , because you had nothing to say except crap about your socks or some shit. In my opinion you have a huge chip on your shoulder."

    Sunshine, if I wanted my blog reviewed, I'd get one from someone who hadn't just been fuckingtornapart.com. But thanks for the advice. It's noted, along with the last German spam comment I got about how to get a bigger penis.

    ReplyDelete
  25. CB- We do swear here and on our blogs, but it's contextual and peppered and typically enhances the writing.

    You swear like an eleven year old who just learned how or an Amish teenager on Rumspriga.

    Oh and your eye makeup makes you look like a drag queen.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I wish she pissed me off or something, but I just want that whole kind of stereotype to disappear from the records of human history, so it's better just to ignore it and hope it'll go away.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rass, that only works with herpes and bad nicknames.

    ReplyDelete
  28. It's like she wants to be DPH, but without the whole "tells a good story" aspect to writing. This woman is a poor, poor shade of DPH.

    ReplyDelete
  29. She should have received the faux sassy malarkey tag.

    I don't hate her, even dislike her but nothing about her blog feel genuine. It feels like those caricatures you get at the state fair.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I watched her V-Blog and felt V-nauseous. She talks the same way she writes.I feel icky inside, like that time I saw my parents having sex. It's just wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm not gonna lie, I was really hoping a bunch of her annoying royal posse would start some shit.

    Now I'm bored again.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Okay assholes... I TRIED to be nice. And YES 'CB' IS a persona... AND A DAMN FUCKING GOOD ONE!

    Who ever said shit about my make-up... Hey guess the fuck what? YOU COULDN'T GET FUCKED BY SOMEONE LIKE EM if it was your mother fucking DEATH WISH you cocksuckers! AND YES I DO SPEAK LIKE THAT IN REAL FUCKING LIFE SO KISS MY FANTASTIC ASS YOU BORING COCK SUCKER WHORES!

    You want MY posse to START shit????? I'm FUCKING ON IT. SCREW YOU SHIT TALKING WANNA BE BLOGGERS who have NOTHING to say! At least I'm fucking interesting!

    I saw one comment about me being all about clicks... WTF? That's why you fuckers have 3 fucking followers and ZERO fucking comments, bc people think you are FUCKING boring! YOU fuckers brought this on yourself! At 20 followers I had AT least 15 comments, now at 300... I think my MOST comments on one blog was 110.

    I TRIED BEING NICE. NOW FUCK YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  33. HOLY CRAP! Fourteen paragraphs and a sentence all about CB! That is more than Perez Hilton had to say about Ms. California. That is more than US Weekly had to say about Snookie. That is more than The Wall Street Journal had to say about ObamaCare. That is more than People had to say about Tiger Woods. That is more than the ladies of The View had to say about any fucking thing. HOLY SHIT CB, YOU ARE ALL KINDS OF FAMOUS!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi there,
    I have had some good natured rants back and forth with CB.
    I know she has loads of followers and maybe that tells us something about the world we live in.
    I do loads of variety in my own blog and use Anglo Saxon derivatives mostly in a contextual way.
    Crazy Brunette is just a bit of fun and I take it as such. I celebrate the diversity out there.
    With respect and kindness, Gary

    ReplyDelete
  35. @ Miss Missives, why would attack her personally? I mean seriously?

    CB, love, I'm detecing some jealous bitches up in here. FTB's We love you and that's all that matters. You and the Royal Bitches!

    P.S. this is Life as Me Scarlet W...my shiz is acting a fool?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  36. @ Miss Missives, why would attack her personally? I mean seriously?

    CB, love, I'm detecing some jealous bitches up in here. FTB's We love you and that's all that matters. You and the Royal Bitches!

    P.S. this is Life as Me Scarlet W...my shiz is acting a fool?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Umm question, who gave you the "higher than god power" to sit and pick at everyones blogs?? Fair question right? Seems like you just wasted a whole lot of air and time bitching about cb, when it could have been better spent fuck umm choking yourself? I love cb, trashy or not. First off to each their own. Second off, what does cb's eye liner have anything to do with? Fuckin drama. I need a fuckin cigarette after this hot mess, and I don't even smoke!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Much like when the radio is playing a song you don't like, and you have the ability to switch the station, so goes the blogger world. If you don't like CB, don't read her. For the rest of us who faithfully read her posts, keep it up.

    CB is always honest, entertaining and when I feel like I'm about to rip my fucking hair out, she makes me laugh.

    Not to mention she is just about the most generous, supportive and friendly gal I have come across in the blogosphere.

    So keep it up hooker! I love you for it!

    ReplyDelete
  39. People, just so you know: She requested a review.

    ReplyDelete
  40. My bad. I thought this was a review site. All I'm reading is blatant bashing of another blogger. Though I give you guys a lot of credit. You wouldn't bash just any old blog. You're criticizing a wildly inventive, popular blog with tons of followers. That way you guys get noticed. Kudos to you. But I'm curious why do you spew all hate and not do a real review. Give us readers real insight about the blogs you discover. Being nasty just to be nasty? To me that's really boring. FYI...I do like your skull logo.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Shriner- They are talking about your commenters NOT you. I told them I requested it.

    Razz wanted shit. Here you go bitch.
    Why was my ORIGINAL comment deleted?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Wow that was a ridiculously long post. You're either obsessively jealous or have nothing better to do with your time.

    Who writes out an entire post dedicated to trashing another blogger that has nothing to do with them.

    Furthermore, You spent a bunch of paragraphs putting down her fabulous blog design, while your own blog contains freakishly creepy emo death angels all around it.

    What the fuck is up with that?!

    Regardless, if you don't like the way CB writes and the character she chooses to express on her blog then no one is forcing you to read it.

    People create persona's that they stick with on their blogs. My blog originated as a newlywed blog, but I NEVER write about lovey dovey bullshit crap because no one gives a fuck about that shit.

    You got one thing correct on your little analysis and that is that our favorite trophy wife is also intelligent. I know CB personally. I speak to her via email multiple times a day. She doesn't have to quote Shakespeare, newtons law of physics, or bible scriptures to emanate this intelligence either.

    Mainly because fabulous bitches like us don't give a fuck.

    She may be a mother but she's not hiding behind the facade of those annoyingly disturbing mommmy bloggers that pretend to shit rainbows and unicorns our of their asses.

    CB keeps it more real than most bloggers out there.

    If you don't like it then again I repeat don't read it. You think she gives a fuck if you click your fucking heels or not and go "home."

    Since we're on the topic of eloquent discourse I'm going to end off by saying.

    Stop being a fucking coward. If you're going to write an an entire post bringing something down then take it like a fucking woman and give some respect for the people that disagree with the bullshit you spew!!

    I know you will delete this, but at least I know you will read this fist and possibly gain some insight.

    I don't mind that you're a bitch, but at least have some class about it!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Wow that was a ridiculously long post. You're either obsessively jealous or have nothing better to do with your time.

    Who writes out an entire post dedicated to trashing another blogger that has nothing to do with them.

    Furthermore, You spent a bunch of paragraphs putting down her fabulous blog design, while your own blog contains freakishly creepy emo death angels all around it.

    What the fuck is up with that?!

    Regardless, if you don't like the way CB writes and the character she chooses to express on her blog then no one is forcing you to read it.

    People create persona's that they stick with on their blogs. My blog originated as a newlywed blog, but I NEVER write about lovey dovey bullshit crap because no one gives a fuck about that shit.

    You got one thing correct on your little analysis and that is that our favorite trophy wife is also intelligent. I know CB personally. I speak to her via email multiple times a day. She doesn't have to quote Shakespeare, newtons law of physics, or bible scriptures to emanate this intelligence either.

    Mainly because fabulous bitches like us don't give a fuck.

    She may be a mother but she's not hiding behind the facade of those annoyingly disturbing mommmy bloggers that pretend to shit rainbows and unicorns our of their asses.

    CB keeps it more real than most bloggers out there.

    If you don't like it then again I repeat don't read it. You think she gives a fuck if you click your fucking heels or not and go "home."

    Since we're on the topic of eloquent discourse I'm going to end off by saying.

    Stop being a fucking coward. If you're going to write an an entire post bringing something down then take it like a fucking woman and give some respect for the people that disagree with the bullshit you spew!!

    I know you will delete this, but at least I know you will read this fist and possibly gain some insight.

    I don't mind that you're a bitch, but at least have some class about it!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Ugh, and now that we've witnessed your readers getting you off, I'm sure you'll receive a different rating. I see this shit all the time: YOUR READERS aren't exactly qualified to offer you a fair review because they already like you.

    It's a free review, if you want to go pay someone that may give you a blog award of some sort, have at it. You knew good and well what you were getting into submitting here, the comment section is always nasty. Chin up, you're lucky I'm not a reviewer any more.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Hey, YOUR commenters ASKED FOR MY FOLLOWERS TO START SHIT... Talk to Rass.

    And al the really shitty and hateful comments from MY followers are being deleted. Nice. Real tough shits here.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hmmmm I am just not sure what to say about this. It defies logic to me, for one blogger to attack another. If you don't like what someone writes then you have the option to just click off.
    CB is not just a blog I read she is becoming a great friend of mine. And you can check out my blog....I don't cuss and I am just a boring housewife with the occasional giveaway. (And I also have a big header and TONS of buttons, and too much eyeliner!! Must be a southern thang!) But we hit it off! If you don't like her, then don't read her...but why go after someone like this? When you attack someone who is popular it's usually just to gain some popularity yourself....
    Honestly I am just so stymied that someone would go off about another blogger like this that I am disgusted.

    ReplyDelete
  47. CB, hatred is the biggest form of flattery...clearly this blogger spent a good 45 minutes (give or take depending on how much their Mom helped them with the big words)making an ENTIRE post about you. I'm jealous! :)

    ReplyDelete
  48. Aaaaaaaah! You commenters are so cute with your matching shirts and learning disabilities. We get it - you love CB. How dare we say anything negative. Yadda yadda yadda.

    Take your own advice. Don't like the review or comments? Fine. Vote with your feet and move along.

    Ciao. Don't let the door hit y'all in the ass on the way out the door.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Idk what caused this "review" of CB's blog but I mean seriously its the internet if you don't like what she is writing then don't read it. Why must you write a whole post about how much you dislike CB's writings? You are talking about classy, but yet you are bashing another blogger because YOU don't like what you are reading. Its as simple as this... if you don't like it don't read it. I personally love CB on and off her blog, but she knows and has stated that not everyone is going to like her. As far as im concerned we blog for ourselves not to please others, and if people want to follow her and read her that's their prerogative but I wouldn't change the way I write or feel just to please other people, and I wouldn't expect anyone else to do that either. There is a little red X at the top of your screen if you don't like it click off!!!

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  50. Scorpio- Yes, our matching skirts and stilettos baby... and your guy's matching dog collars... Too bad. :( Boo hoo fucker!

    ReplyDelete
  51. If you have never faced criticism it is only because no one ever bothered to give you that much thought. For the CB haters: I'm sorry that you are not interesting enough for anyone to devote this much time talkin about. CB: take it for what it is; They need you because their lives are empty and it's easier to jump on someone elses rant than come up with something original. Kudos to you

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  52. Just like all the "foodie blogs" or "mom blogs" that I have no interested in reading, CB may write somethings that some don't like; but the thing is, not everyone wants to read the same thing.
    For me personally it is nice to know someone else out there can be a loyal friend, and one of the sweetest people I have met, yet also be able to bitch about things and have a foul mouth (much like the person I am).
    So her blog is not for you, great we have established that. Move on, and find some blog that is, basically, move past your high school drama bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I don't really see the relevance of this post. If you don't like her shit, don't read it. That's her blog. She can write whatever the fuck she wants. It's not as if she's forcing anyone to read her blog. She doesn't need your "expertise" on how everyone should write. So there.

    ReplyDelete
  54. This post is really irrelevant. It reeks of INSECURITY.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Someone said "defies logic" ...

    ReplyDelete
  56. Who is deleting fucking comments? I'm going to repost them. No one can officially delete comments but me.

    Is it possible that you're deleting them yourselves?

    ReplyDelete
  57. From JoJo:

    Wow that was a ridiculously long post. You're either obsessively jealous or have nothing better to do with your time.

    Who writes out an entire post dedicated to trashing another blogger that has nothing to do with them.

    Furthermore, You spent a bunch of paragraphs putting down her fabulous blog design, while your own blog contains freakishly creepy emo death angels all around it.

    What the fuck is up with that?!

    Regardless, if you don't like the way CB writes and the character she chooses to express on her blog then no one is forcing you to read it.

    People create persona's that they stick with on their blogs. My blog originated as a newlywed blog, but I NEVER write about lovey dovey bullshit crap because no one gives a fuck about that shit.

    You got one thing correct on your little analysis and that is that our favorite trophy wife is also intelligent. I know CB personally. I speak to her via email multiple times a day. She doesn't have to quote Shakespeare, newtons law of physics, or bible scriptures to emanate this intelligence either.

    Mainly because fabulous bitches like us don't give a fuck.

    She may be a mother but she's not hiding behind the facade of those annoyingly disturbing mommmy bloggers that pretend to shit rainbows and unicorns our of their asses.

    CB keeps it more real than most bloggers out there.

    If you don't like it then again I repeat don't read it. You think she gives a fuck if you click your fucking heels or not and go "home."

    Since we're on the topic of eloquent discourse I'm going to end off by saying.

    Stop being a fucking coward. If you're going to write an an entire post bringing something down then take it like a fucking woman and give some respect for the people that disagree with the bullshit you spew!!

    I know you will delete this, but at least I know you will read this fist and possibly gain some insight.

    I don't mind that you're a bitch, but at least have some class about it!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Honestly, I'm more insulted by this comment deletion thing than about anything else.

    And in regards to facing criticism: asshole, you have no idea what you're talking about. Every reviewer on this site has been reviewed themselves. It's part of the charm. And we have fuckloads of it.

    ReplyDelete
  59. From CB:

    Okay assholes... I TRIED to be nice. And YES 'CB' IS a persona... AND A DAMN FUCKING GOOD ONE!

    Who ever said shit about my make-up... Hey guess the fuck what? YOU COULDN'T GET FUCKED BY SOMEONE LIKE EM if it was your mother fucking DEATH WISH you cocksuckers! AND YES I DO SPEAK LIKE THAT IN REAL FUCKING LIFE SO KISS MY FANTASTIC ASS YOU BORING COCK SUCKER WHORES!

    You want MY posse to START shit????? I'm FUCKING ON IT. SCREW YOU SHIT TALKING WANNA BE BLOGGERS who have NOTHING to say! At least I'm fucking interesting!

    I saw one comment about me being all about clicks... WTF? That's why you fuckers have 3 fucking followers and ZERO fucking comments, bc people think you are FUCKING boring! YOU fuckers brought this on yourself! At 20 followers I had AT least 15 comments, now at 300... I think my MOST comments on one blog was 110.

    I TRIED BEING NICE. NOW FUCK YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  60. And in regards to the length: I think CB is more interesting than her blog lets on. I think she's hiding behind a tough facade which is fun, sure, but I can see through it.

    You know why Perez had nothing to say about Ms California? Because she's a fucking idiot. End of story.

    CB is not a fucking idiot, but she's dumbing herself down for her blog, and I can tell. I'd prefer her.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Oh my...someone lost their cookie.

    I thought reviews were supposed to be constructive.
    Maybe just the good and professional reviews...?

    ReplyDelete
  62. Free. Fucking. Review.

    ReplyDelete
  63. * guy- Awwww, you can dish the shit out, but can't take it huh?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Oh, believe me, missus, I can indeed do both. I am the Best Angry Mob this site has ever known. Let's dance.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Keywork, Ghost of Keywork, Admiral Ghost, Father Ghost, Artist Formerly Known as Keywork, call me whatever. or the star thingy is good too.

    ReplyDelete
  66. *, I saw. I saw...I saw a photo on your blog just now. I, uh, I, saw it.

    ReplyDelete
  67. My gored nut sack, huh Gap? That one? Yeah, it's all healed up now.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Yeah...That. And, oh, good, *

    ReplyDelete
  69. Well * Thingy is what you have as your 'handle'.

    You know what I think is sooooo funny? I was looking through past and recently reviewed blogs... and the MOST comments I've seen lately, is oh like 13.

    HAHA. But when I come out to play... you're up to 70 and MY friends have only been at it for like 2 hours or so.

    All I see are,
    "say crack"
    "I saw your balls"

    And YOU guys have the nerve to criticize ME?

    The REVIEW didn't bother me at all, he gave his OPINION. Like it or not.

    YOU fuckers started talking shit for NOTHING. And I guarantee your asses, that if he would have said it was the BEST thing he ever read... YOU assbags would have sucked HIS balls and agreed with him.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Yes, well, I'm happy about and you should be too.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I think it's funny that you find volume of comments to be encouraging or discouraging. No such thing as a blog tiara. Be the Dooce. But don't get a sandy clit when everyone doesn't love you for it.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I was nothing but kind to you. So I don't know why you're including me in your rant, CB.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Also, had the review and the comments all been positive, you and your readers would be giving us all rimjobs.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Happy? I am elated.

    Occasionally I'm stragely grateful that I don't have testicles. This is one of those times.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I'm pretty happy with mine.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Gap- Totally wasn't including you. YOU were the only one with anything nice to say. My blog may not have been for you, but you didn't smear my ass all over the floor!

    I'm addressing all the other idiots...

    Again to *- I don't find it 'encouraging' I find it AMUSING that you shit all over me, when people actually READ things I post. YOU post and nobody could give a fuck less...

    And baby, I wouldn't give you a rim job if my life depended on it. Niiiice one though. Totally put me in my place.

    I recognize the error of my ways and will strive to be an assbag with a small dick and shits on other people to make him feel better... Bet you have a really big TRUCK... No, you're not cool enough for a truck... probably one of those POS rust buckets with a really BIG motor to compensate...

    ReplyDelete
  77. Um, was that your persona, or you? I'm confused. Because from here it looks like both got picked on in high school.

    ReplyDelete
  78. What I see here is a blasting post that tries to disguise itself as a 'critique'. I am unimmpressed with the writer's opinion (though I fully support your right to voice it).

    Just as I will feel completely comfortable voicing mine:

    I believe you wrote this BLAST for the sole purpose of getting people worked up. I believe your commenters wanted to see how riled up they could get CB's followers. (As was made clear when rASS got bored)

    This whole thing was one of the biggest pieces of equine manure I have read in quite some time... and that's saying a lot if you've ever seen the junk mail I get!

    As far as blog designs? I looked at each and every commenters' blogs and found nothing that would ever inspire me to revisit them! You will notice though, I did not stoop to leaving blasting comments on their boring posts... I simply moved on.

    And to stoop so low as to point fingers at fashion and such? How middle-school are we planning to get here... because I can totally do that if we want to pull out the boxing gloves!

    I honestly can't even begin to explain how ridiculous this is...
    I have already devoted far too much time to this TRASH and its followers. I will not add one more iota of energy to boosting your pathetic stats.

    DONE! OVER! FINISHED!

    CB - Totally <3 you sis!! But I'm not touching this load of crap unless I need to put a dead horse head in someone's bed!!

    ReplyDelete
  79. CB, the people who frequent here are well known for gratuitous, rude drive-by commenting. I mean it's not a surprise coming from a blog with a name like iwillfuckingtearyouapart - knowwhatimean? When people want pizza they go to a pizza place. When people want gourmet coffee they go to a coffee shop. When people want to be torn apart by comments...well they come here.
    And...Don't you think it's a little fucked up to want relive some long done pain over and over again?

    Trust me, I've been there done that.

    Go post something from your heart. Even if you have to create a second blog and start as a new persona. It's so clear you need to get some stuff out.

    ReplyDelete
  80. *- Oh my! That's just what someone was saying about you in an email I just got!

    Honey, I was extremely popular in high school. I forget who mentioned it, but 'Mean Girls' was exactly me... Without the bitch. I was nice to ALMOST everyone... and EVERYBODY wanted to be me.

    A friend of mine referred to this as:
    'I guarantee you that what you have witnessed today with those comments on that "review" is a meeting of the "losers lunch table" from High School'

    awww, you were the smelly kid that nobody liked...

    ReplyDelete
  81. PWT-I fucking love you sis! She's a member of the 'Royals' that Rass mentioned...

    ReplyDelete
  82. Nah, I was the well liked kid that joined the Marine Corps, served in combat, and doesn't have to read your boring safe bullshit. I do, however, like your eyebrows. They should start a blog, I would read it. Every bit. Tell ya what, if you want, go read Ghost's Privates, check the archives, read some older shit. I'm not your reviewer, save your tired ass schtick for your readers.

    ReplyDelete
  83. This is getting ridiculous. If you don't stop this, CB, I'm going to have to start calling you SB (Suzanne Sugarbaker)

    ReplyDelete
  84. There's nothing wrong with constructive criticism of other people's blog and I think that's what you honestly intended to do. But after reading the post, all the comments and you're section on how to blog it comes across as more bashing then an actual review

    You mention in you're how to blog section not to worry about you're blog design, and yet you bash hers which I find a lot more creative and better laid out then a good deal of "serious" bloggers"

    You write "say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen" Correct me if I'm wrong but isin't she doing just that. Yeah okay she swears a lot, so fucking what so do I on mine. And isin't the 4th rule to "cuss like a sailor"

    I get that this was a review and from what I read it looks like she asked you to review her blog, and I do agree with some of you're observations. I think in the future when reviewing a blog you need to take a step back and try to be more bias instead of going for the shock factor of trash talking about someone's blog

    ReplyDelete
  85. Good point, Wolfy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  86. *- No you aren't my Reviewer, HE had some class.

    You think throwing Marine around makes me fall to my knees? Try again. I've got Army, Navy & Marines in my family, friends etc. I co-write with an ex-Army guy! So don't throw that shit out like I should bow down.

    I don't have ant desire to read what you write. And if you want to know about my eyebrows...

    My OLDEST daughter's dad beat the fuck out of me and I had 55 stitches from the middle of my eye brow to the side of my face. So technically you can shit on HIM about my eyebrows. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  87. *- Wolf is my ex-Army co-author... If I don't bow to him I certainly wont for YOU...

    ReplyDelete
  88. Well, at least that was honest and heartfelt.

    ReplyDelete
  89. You knew what you were getting into when you submitted, though, right? Nobody here is nice, never have been. I assume you dug around this blog long enough to know that.

    ReplyDelete
  90. They're words. Words. I don't like yours, you don't like mine, whatever. But they're only words.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Shinerfuck: I mean Shinerpunch... Whatever! I hope you at least Googled what "constructive criticism" means. You obviously don't understand what it means.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I think I'm getting nicer, to a certain point ...

    ReplyDelete
  93. *- I didn't expect "nice" and if you read my FIRST couple of comments to Shriner you'd know that I wasn't being a bitch and honestly wanted his opinion.

    And if Rass hadn't made her shitty little comment, none of this would have happened...

    So do not blame ME for this shit storm. I have said NOTHING nasty about my reviewer, only said things to the people who don't have shit to do with their day but write nasty things about my looks (which is extremely immature) and my followers.

    So don't throw stones in glass houses.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Asterisk thingy: Your blog is stupid.

    That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Ok, I've read enough.

    Bye Asterisk Thingy; kisses and fluffy cats to you.

    ReplyDelete
  96. I've been thinking about changing that, actually. Maybe adding some cute little quotation marks, you know, spice things up. And probably deleting the Tony Pierce link too, because I just disagree with half of it. They're from a previous webauthor.

    ReplyDelete
  97. This bullhockey has been going on for 12 hours! Really? How does CB's (or anyone's for that matter)appearance contribute to her literary abilities? CB, did Billy pass you my note after study hall? There is just a whole bunch of jackassery going on up in here!

    ReplyDelete
  98. Yeah, Rass was using what we like to call 'sarcasm'. Had you picked up on it, and not taken it personal, well, we wouldn't be here. But you didn't know that, it's not your fault, and I don't recall blaming you for anything. I wasn't giving you shit about your looks, my wife has no eyebrows, she pencils them in like you do. You really shouldn't take yourself so seriously, CB, it's gonna suffocate your 'fun'.

    Jeanette: So is yours.

    ReplyDelete
  99. That being fucking said:

    1. CB? I got girl-parts. Meaning I'm a woman. Sorry.

    2. Holy fucking hell, the hostility around here is palpable. I'm not going to bother going around and checking out all your blogs, because you didn't ask for a review. But believe me, if they're anything like some of these fucking comments you would get a similar goddamn treatment.

    3. Asterisk's wife has no eyebrows as well.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Ugh. Shiner, I've kinda missed this mess.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Well Rass, apparently doesn't convey 'sarcasm' that well. And I wasn't talking about what you said about my eye brows, I was reffering to:

    CB, you'd look about 693% more attractive if you wore 82% less eyeliner.

    and

    I watched her V-Blog and felt V-nauseous. She talks the same way she writes.I feel icky inside, like that time I saw my parents having sex. It's just wrong.

    Which is extremely funny, because WHERE have THEY been this whole time?

    Well, okay... I may take my blog seriously (regardless of you may think) but I have lots of people who LOVE me and my blog.

    The difference between YOU and all these commenters and Shrine is that Shrine critiqued MY BLOG. NOT me.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Shriner- Well shit. I didn't know. You can't see your face... Sorry.

    Missed what? An angry blog posse? :)

    Anytime chick, anytime.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Eh, I'm not offended. I just want to give credit to the ladies. They deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  104. And the angry blog posse is fucking riveting.

    ReplyDelete
  105. I just wish I felt like fighting back, but I have bedsheets to debase.

    ReplyDelete
  106. The angry blog posse keeps this bitch rolling.

    Rassles, while not faultless, has never been known for not conveying sarcasm well. She does it with the best of us.

    The only people that were offended here are CB and her readers. I'm pretty sure the only time I got real good and offended here at Ask, it was at the hand of Love Bites, and she's pretty much a goddess among blog insects in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  107. One last thing: anyone here ever read the legal disclaimer on this site? Well, it pretty much tells you that this is all for entertainment purposes. Words.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I don't recall critiquing any one person. Ever go to a pawn shop? When they offer you less than you think your thing is worth, you get offended, right? Well, a blog is yours. And when someone tells you it isn't worth the keys you created it with, well, I assume equal offense could be taken. Point is this: if you're selling yourself, really selling yourself, well, don't get offended, because no one requested that you sell that.

    ReplyDelete
  109. I'm NOT offended by what she said about my blog. And I don't care about the legal disclaimer... You and your 9 regular commenters aren't used to getting talked BACK to. You want people to roll over.

    I must sleep. I'd hate to mess up my eye-liner tomorrow...

    I honestly harbor no ill will toward you people. The people that I was targeting my anger at, didn't even show up after they put their snarky, 'I think I'm cool' comments...

    Shiner, thanks for reviewing my blog, like the Wolf (and he's in trouble for agreeing with you on certain things) you had good points. NOT about my design of course... but I enjoyed getting all riled up.

    I'm starting my blog vacation as of tonight. Lots of guest posters next week... Maybe they'll be more your style.

    ReplyDelete
  110. What kind of madness have I stumbled upon here? Oy. Glad I'm not getting my lame blog reviewed.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Weeeeee! This has been fun.

    I think it has been cute that CB's readers have come over here and stuck up for her on a blog called 'I Will Fucking Tear You Apart'.

    We of the loser lunch table will one day rule the earth.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Hey London Street Where are YOU when your favourite blog needs you?

    ReplyDelete
  113. 113 comments. (114 with this one). That's pretty good, but nothing -- NOTHING -- like this...

    And your tattoos STILL say more about you than your blog does.

    ReplyDelete
  114. I read as far as "I hope her Royal posse would come start some shit, I'm bored." and decided you just are not worth our time. I have no idea why someone would post this, but I also know why we are the Royal family. It's cause we know that if you roll in the mud with pigs, you will get muddy and the pigs will get happy. We don't roll that way.

    The Queen

    ReplyDelete
  115. This blog has a great deal of good points, however despite the injections of wholesome goodness your blog is still that of a hate blog.

    Obviously you have never been to the bays of a truck stop, obviously you've never been around those who drive a semi; it's nothing abnormal... This is the same with us biker bitches, it's the culture; if you are unfamiliar with it I suggest you research a bit before you discriminate against something you are unfamiliar with. I've been on both sides of the fence, met my ol' man as a semi driver now he owns a hog shop.

    I came to meet CB only a little while ago and she's a great young sexy woman, a wonderful friend. Yes, I would like to see more 'life' but as the author of her own account and persona she calls her own shots. If she cusses what skin is it off your ass? You're not paying for her tampons... What skin is it off your ass what graphic she uses or the exclamation points she desires to you. You're not her God, her husband, nor are you her keeper.

    While I agree with your nice comments towards a very sexy lady, I also must remind you this is the Internet if you don't like it don't fucking read it and stop taking shit so seriously. This was a wonderful blog if you lose the hate, do you not see what your hate reflects of you.

    I would rather stand behind a women who can be a great friend that adds a little spin and personality than stand behind someone who is a hate monger that hides behind an anonymous identity to express that hate. Check yourself before you dog on CB.

    ReplyDelete
  116. @ The Queen

    That's the same shit I seen. The only damn sentence I remember from the post.

    They planned the shit so it could get high comments like his mommy blog post..he sounds like someone that was rejected by a girl like Crazy B and is still bitter

    Talks all this shit bout being real but I'll bet in REAL life he acts like a bitch around certain people cause he knows he'd get his ass beat.

    This is their way of paying the "mean" kids back for picking on them in school. When you go past talkin bout people's writing and start on their looks it shows your a jealous hater

    ReplyDelete
  117. I have no idea who you're talking about. I suspect YOU don't know who you're talking about anymore.

    My guess is that the reviewers here were the kids in school who transcended the clique thing. I could be wrong. I never knew any of them way back when. Hell, I don't know any of them now.

    Not really.

    ReplyDelete
  118. I sense those 'you're's were very well placed Scorpio.

    I like.

    The CB fans, while strident, are not doing their cause any favours. I am waiting for the 'Yeah, well, your Momma..' jokes to start soon.

    If Scorpio got rejected by a girl like Crazy B, while I am sure he may have been gutted at the time, it would have been, in retrospect, a lucky escape.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Awwww Red Pin... You too? That was so witty! I'm incredibly shocked and impressed.

    ReplyDelete
  120. It should bring great pleasure to many of you to know that, as a child, I was rejected by many little girls for many different reasons.

    So it goes.

    Didn't make me any less complete. And I'm not motivated by emotional or psychological revenge.

    I don't recall knowing anyone like the persona that CB chooses to project so could not possibly speculate on whether she would have rejected me or not.

    And you'll please note that outside of implying that the public CB persona feels artificial, I've said nothing about CB or her blog.

    Your turn...

    ReplyDelete
  121. Crisc, you need to shut the fuck up when grown folks is talkin.

    If the people who read and write on this site want to start trolling other bloggers, they would fucking do so.

    I love how one little line about the fact that CB has a rabid pack of little dogs defending her heels makes everyone go all wicked witchy, and then EMBODY EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

    ReplyDelete
  122. And Queen, I have no idea why you would even stoop to the level of the mudrakers on this site to remind them they are not worth your time unless you felt somehow fucking threatened by them.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Man, I'm sorry I was too busy going out and having a fucking life last night instead of defending myself.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Some people read this site to find writers, and laughing at screechers that can't even type a complete sentence is just a fucking perk.

    Why is everyone so fixated on high school? You miss being back in your prime, I get it. I hate it when my logic gets wrinkly around the edges too.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Woo, seven comments in a row. Self high-five.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Wow - everyone. CB, proud of you girl for handling this all with such a great attitude. That's one reason why j'adore ya. You make us laugh and get away from real life for a moment. True, you're blog doesn't define YOU but it is a part of you. xo

    ReplyDelete
  127. Wooo Butchy

    Slow your roll, you seem to have a lot of anger.No need to be so hostile, maybe ask Crazy B if you can borrow some eyeliner and a couple Xanax. Might help ya get some dick cause you seem like you may need it

    ReplyDelete
  128. By the way, telling people on the internet that they can't get dick? Original. Come up with that yourself, or did you learn it from your kids?

    ReplyDelete
  129. "When you go past talkin bout people's writing and start on their looks it shows your a jealous hater"

    Someone needs to look into themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Oh, phewsh. I thought she was telling ME I can't get dick. Because I can, I tell ya. All the dick I want.

    ReplyDelete
  131. I think she told both of us. Some people have a limited insult arsenal.

    "I don't like you"

    "YOU CAN'T GET DICK"

    "That cheeseburger looks big."

    "YOU CAN'T GET DICK"

    ReplyDelete
  132. I've always been a fan of the "Your Mom..." response.

    "I don't like you"

    "Your MOM doesn't like me!"

    "That cheeseburger looks big."

    "Your MOM has a big cheeseburger!"

    And then follow that up with a well-placed, well-timed "Booyah!"

    ReplyDelete
  133. First of all, if you are going to do an honest review, then you cannot compare it to your style of writing. You have to review on what the author's definition of her blog is, not what you think it should be changed into.

    Not all of us want to be sunshine and rainbow Mom bloggers. I have nothing against Mom bloggers. Many of them I read on a daily basis.

    However, when you first go to CB's blog, she labels herself as a bitchy, trashy, foul-mouthed, over the top trophy wife, right? It's big, labeled and comes with a warning.

    That said, it is obvious as to what type of blog you will be subjected to, should you continue reading, no?

    CB is a persona, and when you comment on her "rare times of seeming intelligence", or "your tattoos are more interesting that you are", you are attacking her on a personal level.

    She obviously is doing something right. Take a look at her followers. She has people you all probably deem "Great Bloggers" following her, and loving every CB minute.

    A blog review is one thing, but when your commenter's, reviewers, friends, whatever, start with the personal jabs it dissolves into a shit storm of tit for tat.

    And that, quite frankly, makes this site look like it is run by a bunch of moronic Internet trolls.

    Perhaps that is how you want your blog to be perceived, and I'm good with that. To each his own, and all of that shit.

    However, by the amount of followers and comments you had before the CB review post, I'm thinking maybe trolls and personal attacks are not what people want to see.

    But, that is only my opinion.

    CB, I love your blog, and you. Keep being true to yourself, and what you want your blog to be.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Oh my goodness! You guys are so clever! And Rassles... KUDOS to you for your SEVEN compelling and thought provoking comments RIGHT in a ROW...

    How long did it take you to come up with those?

    I honestly have NO time for this today. I'm on a blog vacation. And to all your inevitable shitty quips and mind blowing insults about my 'vacation' they aren't needed.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Bringing up how popular you were in high school, when you're a fucking adult, is pathetic and sad.

    You were part of a Mean Girl clique in high school, and you still are now. It's time to grow the hell up.

    CB asked for this review, and she received one. Get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  136. I just got an email saying that Dutchess left a comment, and I don't want any assholes insinuating I fucking deleted it, since it's not appearing on here for some reason:

    First of all, if you are going to do an honest review, then you cannot compare it to your style of writing. You have to review on what the author's definition of her blog is, not what you think it should be changed into.

    Not all of us want to be sunshine and rainbow Mom bloggers. I have nothing against Mom bloggers. Many of them I read on a daily basis.

    However, when you first go to CB's blog, she labels herself as a bitchy, trashy, foul-mouthed, over the top trophy wife, right? It's big, labeled and comes with a warning.

    That said, it is obvious as to what type of blog you will be subjected to, should you continue reading, no?

    CB is a persona, and when you comment on her "rare times of seeming intelligence", or "your tattoos are more interesting that you are", you are attacking her on a personal level.

    She obviously is doing something right. Take a look at her followers. She has people you all probably deem "Great Bloggers" following her, and loving every CB minute.

    A blog review is one thing, but when your commenter's, reviewers, friends, whatever, start with the personal jabs it dissolves into a shit storm of tit for tat.

    And that, quite frankly, makes this site look like it is run by a bunch of moronic Internet trolls.

    Perhaps that is how you want your blog to be perceived, and I'm good with that. To each his own, and all of that shit.

    However, by the amount of followers and comments you had before the CB review post, I'm thinking maybe trolls and personal attacks are not what people want to see.

    But, that is only my opinion.

    CB, I love your blog, and you. Keep being true to yourself, and what you want your blog to be.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Duchess - I'm going to leave the rest of your comment alone, but I did want to address one thing:

    You quoted the original review, and me in quoting it in comments, as "your tattoos are more interesting that you are"

    Which is a misquote and misses the point entirely. The actual statement is "Your tattoos say more about you than your blog". Meaning, I learn more about you by what you choose to adorn your body with than I have learned reading your blog. Nothing in there about level of interest.

    That is all.

    Your turn.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Dutchess, I'm sorry, but that line about reviewing her blog on her terms? That's ignorant as shit.

    She wanted a review on OUR terms. We like WRITERS. We don't get paid for this, we take time out of our fucking days to do these reviews, and saying that we do this to be popular is fucking ignorant as well.

    WE DO THIS TO FIND WRITERS. We do this to read things written by talented people that we might not find on our own.

    Fucking mommybloggers? Sunshine and rainbows? What gave you the goddamn idea that's what I was looking for, that any of the blogs I've ever liked were that?

    Honestly, CB's blog is way more sunshine and rainbows than I like. Just because she throws "FUCK" in there doesn't change the fact that it's all "I love your face! I love my friends! FUCKING SUNSHINE!"

    I look for honesty, not a fucking front.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Rass - I too missed the storm last night. I think had I been around, I wouldn't have felt the need to defend my comment. In general, I have no use for useless women, unless they want to come over and do my laundry or something. Cause that would make them useful indeed.

    CB - If I get attacked for this, you won't hear back from me. Mama always said, don't stick your hand in the crazy. I'm going to crawl on back to my life now.

    ReplyDelete
  140. I have no problem with CB. I like her. I think she's better than this. She knows.

    And really, I've suffered just as many personal jabs for giving my solicited opinion as CB has for requesting a review.

    Pay fucking attention.

    ReplyDelete
  141. I don't KNOW CB so how could I say whether I like her or not.

    Her blog on the other hand is not my cuppa. Give me intellectual and introspective over brash and ballsy anyday.

    But, hey that's me. Mr. Vegas.

    ReplyDelete
  142. How come I miss all the fun parties?

    This comment section has turned into one big gimp lounge. Don´t people even look at the url when they click on a link? Jesus fucking christ what a bunch of whiny little bitches.

    Oh and the blog in question sucks some serious ass. Shiner should get a reward for putting any time into this shit pile whatsoever.

    Rassles, this is looking like the good ole days a little and made me all nostalgic.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Well, that was interesting. Gok, I missed you so, and your beautiful other half, and no, I'm not talking about your junk. Which by the way I saw, ouch!

    ReplyDelete
  144. Madame- Awwww, my blog sucks ass??? So, lets put a tally on it... Your 13 (at MAX) regular comments... to your 145 comments when MY friends KICKED THE SHIT of you and your dumbass...

    Soooooo... WHO sucks ass? I forget who said something about rim jobs, but I'm betting you give one hell of one, because that's the reason you think you're tough shit.

    Have fun with your next review and the 6 comments you'll get talking about ball saks amongst yourselves!

    Come back for more sunshine and rainbows from the Crazy Brunnette when ever you need to escape your dreadful existence...

    ReplyDelete
  145. Glad to see your still checking in CB.

    ReplyDelete
  146. You have to admit though, it does take balls to walk into a room full of people and say very loudly "Hate me, fuckers!"

    And that seems to be what this charming young lady has done.

    ReplyDelete
  147. To use an obvious example:

    More people watch The Bachelor than three years of Arrested Development, and Arrested Development completely changed the standards of television and the types of shows being created.

    I'm not saying this blog is as quality as that show, but insinuating something is 'better' because more people pay attention is just fucking dumb.

    You have your standards. I have mine.

    ReplyDelete
  148. I can't resist telling you how popular I am. It's a sick compulsion I tell you.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Oh, Miss M, we've missed you too.

    PS My junk healed up beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  150. "Look at how many comments I got!" = "Look at how many votes I got for Prom Queen!"

    Grow up and get some integrity, lady.

    Also, you sure as hell wanted our approval, or you wouldn't have fucking submitted.

    On the other hand, maybe you were just using us for traffic.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Shiny - that last comment you posted is EXACTLY what I wanted to say. You put it perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Okay , I just want to say this whole review thing was very interesting.

    I would also like to say ,
    Crazy B. is a Blog friend .

    I would choose
    Arrested Development
    over The Bachelor anytime.
    Got your point.

    If you run a blog ...you post what you want for your own personal shit to share.

    She did ask for a review,and that was very clear ,and she got what she asked for ,and a little more
    than she really deserved .
    To attack her on her looks was
    just a bit much.

    CB to me is a pretty friend, and has been nothing but nice ,and very generous to all her friends around her .

    Sure she plays the over the top card , but she does give credit to her followers where credit is due,
    I also know for a fact she has made some graphics for them.
    It may not be what you like,and that's your right not to like it.


    Shagnasty said this in a recent comment below ...

    "Also, you sure as hell wanted our approval, or you wouldn't have fucking submitted.

    On the other hand, maybe you were just using us for traffic."
    ---------------
    I think CB has shown she has her
    own big following ,and has proved that via the comments on this site from her friends.

    I am pretty sure she wasn't using you all for traffic, I think if anything she was using this site for reasonable criticism which seemed to some of coming up short when it got real personal in attacking her looks.

    Now back to the whole scenario about Arrested Development
    over The Bachelor.

    I said, I would pick Arrested Development, but this isn't a
    television program either.
    It's a blog !

    I am a follower of hers because
    she is who she is ...
    She's a foul mouth little smart ass in her posting, and it holds my interest to read what she has to say.

    I may not always agree with everything she says, but she says
    what is on her mind ,and that my friends is why I keep coming back for more.


    I don't care if she says, look at me ...look at me !

    I'll keep looking.

    She's cute as hell,and has a smart ass over active mouth on her video blogs.


    That is a part of her persona...
    as this blog you have here is a
    great part of yours, and yes, even though, I was a little disappointed
    in the criticism on what was said about her looks , I would probably come back ,and visit your blog again just for the fact that some of the things you all said held my interest as well.

    The comments were the best part,
    and I also enjoy train wrecks !

    ReplyDelete
  153. The universe is clearly conspiring against me when I miss an AAYSR commentfest such as this.
    CB, you're acting like such a fucking pussy, and I don't buy it. You submitted your blog to a review sight that has a url of "iwillfuckingtearyouapart" and are acting like a teeny tiny baby. When really? Really I suspect you have a massive set of brass balls that you are, for some reason, hiding behind a bunch of cussing and hooker clothes.
    Also? I realize you have no control over the fact that some of your readers are motivated to praise you for all of this hiding out, but seriously, please write a grown up post about how you wish you would live from your balls more often than you do. Write about how you plan to do it. Admitting our liabilities and fears can be inspiring to others.
    Better yet, follow this advice:
    Write a letter to yourself from yourself at the age you will be 40 years from now. Be brutally honest with yourself. Write about what that "future self" sees in you that is good, powerful, awe inspiring and totally real. Let your "future self" rage against the things she sees you doing that are a waste of time, heart, intelligence, energy and soul. Let her lay out a new and improved plan. Let her yell at you about knocking off the bullshit, getting down to business, and giving her the gift of being able to sit around at her age and feel proud about the day she revealed to the world that that she had a massive pair of brass balls and started living from them - even though she was scared to death to do so.
    Even better? Post that letter on your blog.
    I mother fucking dare you.

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  154. you just have to love it when someone submits their blog for review and when it isn't to their liking they cry, "Well you guys suck anyway!"

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  155. The comments were on her makeup, not her looks.

    I don't think telling someone they wear too much eyeliner is really "below the belt".

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  156. This verbal war is still going on? If you don't like her blog, don't read it. If you don't like the blog that reviewed her blog, don't read that either. If you like her, great. If you don't, fine. If you hate the word fuck, then you probably had a fit reading everything...the review, her blog, the comments.

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  157. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  158. Everyone here would benefit greatly from one of my infamous facial treatments. Biscotti?

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  159. Sorry Gok, your biscotti are now missing the infamous secret ingredient.

    Sperm

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  160. Best idea I have heard all comments Mongolian Girl. THough I am kinda scared of you.

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  161. We got a massive 1000+ words devoted to us in a secret review.

    Someone likes to play ping pong. I wish I had time to devote to reviewing our review. Perhaps someone could pick up the slack.

    click for a good time

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  162. Miss - My apologies. I wrote that particular post 3 days ago when I was feeling particularly heartfelt and generous! I tried hard to compliment the things about the authors I felt were genuinely worth complimenting.

    However, it's been a long fucking week and I'm in a rather bitchtastic mood. So if you think I was totally unfair, I could rewrite the son-of-a-bitch to your fucking liking.

    Or I could just go sip on my drink and enjoy the fact that I finally have a day off tomorrow.

    Your call!

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  163. Have you ever seen the episode of The Middle where Sue and her friend are to fight some neighborhood boys? They all get ready for the fight and Sue goes to turn on her boombox so her and her friend can do their choreographed fight moves, all set to Kung Foo Fighter. This feels like that. It's not bad, just funny. And I'm not just referring to you interlopers. The whole thing is ludicrous, but somehow very entertaining.

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  164. Or, you could just sip on my semen. Nothing like a totally forgettable response to a review of a totally forgettable blog. Biscotti.

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  165. Miss M, pass the Canola.

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  166. Hey Gok, I finally wrote the Wesson oil story, it's at the new blog.

    You'll probably be disappointed since it doesn't involve anal:)

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  167. I fuckin' luuuuuuuurve the 'Sue Fight' from In the Middle.
    If only I could figure that out instead of always using my crow bar.
    Don't be afraid Grumpy...unless you're not acting right. Then? I'll just knock your ass out.

    GOD! You spermless bastard. How are you?

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  168. Ugh, Miss, no anal?

    I think I'm more like a titan now, MG, gods can reproduce.

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  169. Gosh, if only we got more comments on this blog. Then we'd know we were worth something on the blogosphere.

    /high school mode

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  170. I AM SOMEBODY! PEOPLE REALLY LIKE ME!
    Um, until I shut my blog down and there was nothing else to comment on. Ever since then I've had a sneaking suspicion that I am not acceptable.

    GOD: Since OceANUS was indeed one of the first 12 Titans, I'm thinking you may be onto something here.

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Grow a pair.