Thursday, December 09, 2010

If All Your Friends Jumped Off a Bridge, Would You Do It Too?

I know that none of you care about my troubles, but I have to tell you the truth. The thought of writing a review for today's blog just makes me feel exhausted all of a sudden. It's not that it's a particularly bad blog. Indeed, if that were the case, I would have something to sink my fangs into. And it isn't that the reviewee is particularly problematic or annoying or anything. In fact, based on the very little I know about her, I actually think that I'd really like her. She has a great optimistic way of looking at life that I can only imagine is infectious in person.

I am exhausted because her execution is just another in a seeming endless series of blogs that are in essence the equivalent of Cheech and Chong's "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

That the details vary from blog to blog matters little. This one lives in Chicago. That one in Bangalore. This one's in IT. That one's a nurse. That one over there's a teacher. Ho hum. She has a dog. He has a two year old son. Whatever.

I think that it is very telling that the only reason Prathima even has a blog was because other people she knows have them. And that it was pretty much dormant until she spent a certain amount of time unemployed, when it seemed to give her something to do to while away the hours when she would have rather been working. Even now, it seems that the only thing driving her to write at all is so that she is not strictly a consumer on the blogosphere.

As much as I admire those who want to give back to the community, I do want to let everyone know -- you don't necessarily have to give back in kind. Not everyone needs a blog. Especially if you're not necessarily all that enthused to say anything.

I realize that this is overly critical and possibly even harsh, but the fact is, you seem to derive more pleasure from reading others' blogs. And that's okay. Maybe I am reading this wrong. Maybe you do get jazzed up writing about a day in the life of an H4 visa holding individual residing in the US of A, but if so, that excitement just didn't come across.

My advice to you. If I am reading you wrong, and you really are really excited to be writing these blog entries, try to find a way to convey that excitement to your reader. Convince us of something. Tell us what you love and why. Tell us what you fear most and why. In other words, challenge yourself and us. Expand our minds through what you uniquely bring to the world.

I'm not going to tell you the versa to that vice I set up up there. That is to say, I will not suggest that if you are writing out of obligation, perhaps that is energy best spent elsewhere. Far be it from me to tell you what to do with your energy, and if you think that this is making the world a better place, I won't ask you to stop. But I haven't found anything in here to keep me coming back if you keep on with what you're doing.

As it is, I am feeling compelled to introduce a whole new rating. You don't deserve anything negative. You didn't even earn a "Meh." I am taking ths opportunity to introduce the brand new "No Stars" rating. Again, you seem like a really great person, so it really isn't personal.

Now pardon me while I go take a nap.

28 comments:

  1. And WHAT is wrong with Chicago? HMMMM?

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  2. Too many bridges. Not enough jumpers.

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  3. You're exactly right, SW--she seems like a nice, cheerful woman. I only read the first page and while there's nothing egregious, there's nothing compelling either.

    This is exactly why my personal blog output has dwindled to about 3 a month. I'm just not going to force it. I'm not going to blog about not blogging. Eventually, something will come along that's blog-worthy.

    I am excited though about the recent spate of excellent writers who have surfaced here in past few months. My blogroll has been cleansed of the old and lots of shiny new blogs are now on display.

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  4. Can we be done with "dint"? Like, everyone? Done with dint? Are you with me?

    Fuck dint...and the "there/their/they're" he rode in on.

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  5. I'll tell you what's wrong with Chicago. 'Perfect Strangers' went off the air.

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  6. NJ, I've resigned myself to the day when your/you're will mean the same. I hope to choke on a pretzel long before that.

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  7. No stars? No MEH or flaming fingers? No I fucking love you? Ohhhh...that's gotta smart.
    I've always heard the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference.

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  8. It's like leaving a five cent tip. Lets them know you didn't forget.

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  9. huh.. not as bad as I was expecting it to be. thanks for the honest comments. I agree with somethings you said and disagree with some.
    At the end I wrote a post on your review.

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  10. Yeah it does, Scorp. But now it looks like you got ripped apart in her post about your review.
    Um, not really. It actually demonstrates the lack of excitement you talked about.

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  11. Save some for me, Mr. Raptor - on that day we'll chew on pretzels like cyanide capsules and talk of days of yore...

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  12. I don't understand what's she's talking about. She doesn't like our "cool" language? Our language is cool? FUCK YES IT'S COOL.

    Who doesn't like things that are cool? Man. La-hoo-za-her.

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  13. Seriously, what does she mean by that? We have advanced vocabulary? We use descriptive terminology? We convey feelings and incite reactions in our readers? People don't read these reviews and think, "man, these people are boring." They read them and think, "Man, these people are fucking assholes but excellent writers."

    I was unaware that that was bad.

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  14. I assumed it was because we swear. A lot. Like, a fuck-ton.

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  15. Well done. And I agree: how can one not like something that is - by one's own admission - cool? That is very much bullshit and seven different kinds of lame.

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  16. It's lamer than a three-legged horse.

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  17. It's four times lamer than three peg-legged pirates. And a lobotomized budgie.

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  18. Yeah, I know pirates have parrots, but what the fuck - when was the last time anyone wrote "budgie"?

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  19. Did y'all know that budgie is short for Budgerigar--a word defies pronunciation (at least in my Southern-fried brain.)

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  20. I actually microwave all of my language before putting it out there. So, "cool"? I think not.

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  21. I consider my language to be cool in the extreme.

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  22. I had to think about the word budgie.

    And I liked that part.

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Grow a pair.